Much like the NHL, the DSPMARHL (Dulles SportsPlex Men's Adult Roller Hockey League) also has a trade deadline. The two leagues not only share the caliber of play, but also the date for the deadline: 2/26. The biggest rumor thus far in the DSPMARHL involves the Red Army. Bona fide super-deluxe-star Mark Hendricks is expected to be traded to make cap room for younger players, including Andy, Steve, and Tony. Hendricks has reportedly received offers from SERHL (Swedish Elite Roller Hockey League), RSRHL (Russian Super Roller Hockey League, and the less popular PPECRRHFPSAEHGL (Polish Pseudo-Elite Co-Rec Roller Hockey Free Polish Sausages After Every Home Game League). While it is unclear where he will land, sources indicate he is expected to receive anywhere in the range of $18 million per year to 11 zlotys (polish currency, I googled it) per assist.
While he will be missed, the Red Army already looks poised to have a better season than this past one. Steve Hand will take over the captaincy and the team will play this season in silver, two moves many of the players thought were long overdue. "I'm looking forward to taking this team in the right direction. I've prepared some motivational speeches to address the team after games. I have one great speech that I took from the movie "A Bug's Life"... I just hope one game we have to protect our lead against some grasshoppers so it makes sense.."
That's it for now. I'm off to eat brunch with a hotty.
