Morning Skate Scheduled Tomorrow

The Red Army will be practicing tomorrow at Trailside in preparation for Thursday's marquee match-up against the Cryptic Stench. The Red Army, coming off an impressive victory against the Mad Dads, will be visited tomorrow by a few old friends from seasons past: Mark Hendricks and Jamie Simek. Simek, who opted out of his 5 year contract to play soccer in Europe, is excited to lace 'em up again. "Ahhhhhh duuuuuude!" An anxious Simek exclaimed while waving his hands in an unsure, shaky motion.

Hendricks, always more collective and asshole-ish, had this to say. "Let's face it, it's silver division... they got a win. BFD... Look, I hear the talk... I read the reports. Yeah people are excited that they've accumulated more wins than we had all of last year and it's been one game. But it was the Mad Dads. I mean for fucks sake. Come on, I am the Red Army! I invented the curl and drag! Anyone?" The clearly bitter winger still has roots to the Red Army, and could start a few games this season if he gets dropped by his team in the Polish Semi-Elite League, the Warsaw Wombats. Hendricks stats are way down this year, amassing only 4 goals and 0 assists in 23 games thus far. "No one speaks my fucking language, how the hell do you say pass in Polish? I don't know what Hitler saw in that shithole."

For now, it appears the two old comrades will practice tomorrow morning with their old team. Asked if he was excited about combining forces with his old mates again, captain Steve Hand offered these words. "I still talk to both of them occasionally. It'll be nice to share a bench again. I just hope they know I don't want them staying around too long... after all... losing is contagious."

Sophomore Andy Schram was more excited. "Yeah I think it'll be great. I'm really looking forward to-"... eh, he basically just rambled on for a few minutes about how he likes playing on the same line as Mark. Nothing too good ever comes out of that guy's mouth. Honestly, worse interviewee than Kris Beech.

So that's it. I'll update if any news breaks.

UPDATE: Mark Hendricks has been fined the sum of $10,000 zloties by the Polish Semi-Elite League for his remarks on the European nation's state of affairs.

UPDATE: Mark Hendricks has been fined $5,000 more zloties by the Polish Semi-Elite League for making the check of $10,000 zloties payable to "PoLAND OF FAGS"

UPDATE: Mark Hendricks has been dropped by the Warsaw Wombats after his string of run ins with the press and otherwise unfortunate season.

UPDATE: Mark Hendricks has been picked up by the Oslo Trolls, a team in the Scandinavian Shooter League.

UPDATE: The Scandinavian Shooter League has absorbed the Polish Semi-Elite League, which now means that the Oslo Trolls and Warsaw Wombats are in the same league, same conference at well.

UPDATE: Steve Hand complained of back spasms, but says he will skate tomorrow nonetheless.