Mark Hendricks was cleared by doctors to skate for the Red Army tomorrow night. The unbelievably talented sniper will suit up back on the first line and be reunited with his brother Beege. We journalists had a phone conversation with Mark earlier, below is the transcript of our conference call.
Digest: Are you excited to play tomorrow?
Mark: Fuck yeah mang.
Digest: Do you think you can turn this season around?
Mark: Of course, wait hold this hold this, it's my turn (yelling in background, gurgling) I've turned so much shit around this ain't nothing.
Digest: How much of an impact do you think you'll have on your team.
Mark: As big as an impact the iceberg had on the titanic.
Digest: Can you elaborate? The iceberg sunk the titanic.
Mark: That's a pretty big impact dickweed. Woah, who the fuck is this skank? Fuck it I'm not paying. (Loud rap music blasting, a glass breaks.)
Digest: Do you still think you have a shot at the scoring title?
Mark: (Hollering and yelling in background) What?
Digest: The scoring title, do you still think-
Mark: Oh yeah, definitely. I'm the best.
Digest: How will your form be with your elbow and wrist hurting?
Mark: I haven't been watching that much porn but my wrist does hurt a bit. How do you hurt your elbow?
Digest: Do you still think you can win the championship this year?
Mark: I think (undecipherable) but a lot of it depends on (undecipherable) other than that we just gotta cut some bitches.
Digest: Do you think that-
We lost connection, and received a voicemail from Mark 2 hours later.
Mark: Digest this mofo! (Farting noise made into the phone) Mark hurr, and I juffst has one God damned thing to say to you assholes at meet the press secretary of my johnson center for the arts and craft closet homosexuals are gay lord nashville predators chris hanson mmmmmmm bop bojangles... I don't know what I just said... but let us just remember this (farting noise made into phone.) Shit, there's a dead hooker next to me.
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