No Goalie? No Problem.

When the puck was dropped at 10 pm tonight, the Red Army's net was gaping. Somewhere along the line, communication had broken down between goaltender Josh and the rest of the team, and what had been anticipated as a great matchup between two power-houses, seemed doomed for a blowout. As the adage goes, desperate times call for desperate measures... although in this case a more accurate saying could be: desperate housewives received no Scoregasms tonight because Mother Russia was the ultimate CB (crease block... heads out of the gutters kids.) That's right, against all odds, Mother Russia defeated the plentiful goalbusters 7-2 in what can only be described as a stellar all around performance.

Like any Disney movie, the villains scored first. Just three minutes into the game MS scored, giving them the lead. While many teams might be disheartened, the Red Army knew it was enjoying a magical run, and decided to milk it a little more. After a "fucking sick pass" from Neal, Brad tied the game at 1. Moments later, after Mark drew a penalty (he drew five on the night, and only took one... totally worth it) he slammed home a rebound on the doorstep and gave the soviets the lead with less than a minute in the period. Was... was it.... was it possible?

Midway through the second the score was 3-1, courtesy of a Peter goal, when Neal found the back of the net to increase the lead to three. Frustration was mounting for the Scoregasms, and they could not find a release. After a questionable penalty on Mark, the more-than-singular tallyloads scored on a slapshot. It would be as close they would "come". Peter and Brad each netted their second goals of the game, and on a 5 on 2 power play with 90 seconds remaining, Beege found the back of the net on a beautiful tic, tic, tic, tac, toe play. This of course activated the Hendricks curse, which has now increased its potency to 130-0.

POST GAME NOTES AND QUOTES:
-The Red Army powerplay was 4 for 6 tonight
-Ryan was money playing goalie at times during the game. His kick save was... a beauty.
-Neal and Peter continue their streak of outscoring Mark and Beege... but we all who will win that race.
-Pat continued his solid presence on D, and because of his jersey color was gypped of two points.
-Mark took four or five elbows from #00 who actually works at the sportsplex and is the Senior Asshole on staff.
-Goal of the game is Beege's 5 on 2 marker.
-Celebration of the game is Neal's "woooo", fist pump, followed by 2 and a half minutes of line dancing with rented hookers.

"Tonight was sick. We absolutely dominated them. I mean, you think it would be a huge disadvantage that we were without a goalie... and it was... but man we just took it to them. We wiped the floor with them. We wiped our asses with them actually. Oh, good game man. (A MS player walked by) We really did just bend them over and rape them is what I'm trying to say. And not figuratively. They are going to give birth to an illegitimate Red Army baby 9 months from tonight and it will be a constant reminder of how we just beat them without a goalie. Catch my drift?" An exhausted Mark said after the game.

"I took one off the elbow in the first while I was in goal... but man, if it had hit me in the face, let's just say I don't mind going back to prison." Ryan went on to add. "Although last time was a traffic offense so if I killed a bitch it would probably be higher security. Also we probably wouldn't get cable."

"I don't know what to say about tonight." An elated George Lopez told reporters after the game. "I mean, we were on the verge of moving to Kansas City four games ago, now we're the hottest team in town. Our ticket sales have increased by two thousand percent. Have you seen the ratings?!? We beat American Idol last week. If these boys keep it up we might have a chance of beating Tyler Perry's House of Payne, cable's number 1 sitcom!"

STANDINGS UPDATE & REDDER ARMY INFO
The Redder Army defeated the Individual Team 8-1, moving them into sixth place. The victory avenged a heart breaking loss last game to the Cryptic Stench. The Stench lost to Bear Calvary tonight, meaning that second place now belongs to Red Army. With four games left in the season, it is very unlikely that Blackout will be caught, but there is certainly some pressure.

MARK NOTE
For the 199th straight season, Mark has reached the 30 point plateau. That is all.