Tonight's first round matchup between the beloved Red Army and the Individual Team featured explosions of offense, questionable defense, and a lot of gliding. It is what you would expect from a game that included two teams playing with the bare minimum roster number to avoid a forfeit: four skaters and a goaltender. What it came down to... our four > their four. The Red Army advanced to the second round tonight thanks to a 14-8 victory.
The gameplan was simple: Mark and Peter up front with Ryan and Hoefer guarding the rear. What it equated to was great success. The four utilized the entire rink and owned the puck for the majority of the game. Hoefer tallied twice, including a true top shelfer, Peter netted the most with six, and Ryan continued his offensive surge as he and Mark both scored hat tricks. "The key to tonight was definitely the passing." Mark said afterwards. "We were setting eachother up and finding those seams. Hold on (vomiting) Sorry about that... I think its all done... yeah it is... anyways... (more projectile vomiting) God damnit! Wow... sorry. Just skated 45 minutes you understand if I'm- (more vomiting) Holy shit... can somebody get me some fucking water?!? I mean I know you are looking for an interview but come on people, I'm dying here! Whew, alright... I think we're good. Yeah we did a great job tonight as one unit and I am really looking forward to the second round."
The second round game will be Tuesday night at 10:00 pm vs the Inline Shockers. The roster, while still depleted, should be slightly larger. While Hoefer will be gone, Brad and Lynch will rejoin the troops in battle. It should give the Red Army a solid core group.
REDDER ARMY NOTES:
The Redder Army's season came to an end tonight at the hands of the Cryptic Stench. Everyone knew the Stench would be a formidable opponent, but many here at the newsroom were surprised to see the slightly more soviets fold this early. While they certainly had an explosive offense, often times their guns just didn't show up. Andy, sensing defeat, dropped the gloves for the first time this season late in the game. "When I knew we weren't going to come back I decided it was time to kick some ass." Andy then bit into a raw piece of meat and let the blood drip down his chin. Also, the letters on his jersey changed from "CCCP" to "BAMF".
As entertaining as Andy's mittens dropping was, the fight of the night belongs to the Mad Dads' bench, where two players exchanged words and blows during game play. What started as a player ripping a teammate for a poor pass, quickly evolved into a UFC fight on the tiled floors of the bench. Those were some furious fathers.
Well, I'm off, I'll update sometime before Tuesday's match with lines and my pre-game analysis. Now, a moment of silence for our fallen comrades...
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