Tony Horton: "I'm Bigger Than Most People"

In the 2004 entry draft there weren't many big bodies available. In a game where speed reigns supreme, size doesn't factor into the minds of general managers as much as it did in the old days. It was surprising then, when GM at the time, Shea O'Toole, selected Tony Horton with his first pick and 6th overall. While the fans had their doubts, after two solid seasons and a good start to this year, O'Toole's pick is looking better by the day.

"Maybe it's the skating, or having more confidence when I get the puck, but I'm feeling better and stronger each game." Tony said. "Faster, harder, stronger, better, you can be my black Kate Moss." An exuberant Kanye said after.

Tony's stats don't dazzle, but his play along the boards has earned him the nickname "Big Fucking Rig" from many of his teammates. The BFR is able to use his size to his advantage and out muscle many of the smaller players. Like a blood thirsty German ogre pillaging a quaint town on the outskirts of Strasburg, Germany, Tony fights for loose pucks and is able to create havoc in front of the net. He is a handful for any village lacking basic weaponry defenders.

Tony has ambitions outside of the blue rink though. Like his father, Tim, he someday hopes to start a chain of restaurants across the greater northeast region of America that would offer delicious bagels, donuts, and juices. "I've always considered myself an entrepreneur. Whether or not Tony Horton's ever takes off remains to be unseen, but with today's economic situation people need blueberry muffins more than ever."

Tonight, Tony and company faceoff against Scissor Me Timbers. Tony for the first time in his career is averaging a point per game with four points (3g, 1a) in four games. But what people really want to see is the BFR continue his work in front of the net and create shooting lanes for the soviet snipers. "My mentor Brooks Laich always told me if you want money go to the bank, if you want bread go to the bakery, and if you want goals go to the net." Tony said while chuckling after the morning skate on Saturday. "And if you want the blood of fat cheeked German boys go to Strasburg."