The Mad Dad's, suffering from an exhausting day of work at that god forsaken job, scored the game winning goal less than a minute into overtime Thursday, dropping the Red Army's record to 3-3-1. The fathers, who were more peeved than usual, proceeded to pour themselves a stiff glass of whisky before removing their belts and trudging upstairs to teach their wives "a God damned lesson."
It was a game that featured ups and downs. Andy, who filled in as goalie for Kraus (1 game suspension for being a faux Canadian idiot) epitomized the ups and downs. After allowing a few soft goals, Andy was strong in the end. In the dying seconds of the third period he stood on his head, making two dazzling saves on the perturbed patriarchs. Though Andy was available for comment after the game, the Mad Dad's offered this, "Go to your fucking room!"
Brad and Mark tallied the most beautiful goal of the season to date, with a short handed marker in the second period. Mark took the puck up and used the patented watch-this-unnecessary-deke-through-my-legs move, before firing a backhander on goal. Celenski, who is the only member of his team to have not produced offspring, made the save but tried to play it immediately. Mark stripped the puck and passed it to Brad, who returned the puck for a one-timer. The initial save was made, but Brad slammed home the rebound. The goal, which earned the Labatt Blue play of the night, currently has zero youtube views.
"It was a good goal." Mark said. "I'm glad we got the point, that could prove to be huge later in the season. It's a wide open league right now and every point we can get, we want. Some points play hard to get, like certain women." He was interrupted by a passing Mad Dad who chimed in. "Your (woman) is playing hard to get? You gotta grab that (woman) by the neck and let her know who the boss is."
While the Angry Pops did take the two points, there were plenty of positives seen out there, including the play of the league's only Asian, Jamie Simek. "I definitely feel more confident when I get the puck now. I've been treating my body better too, and it's paying off. I always make sure to eat Brittany's weight in sushi before every game so that I am really utilising my ethnic powers. It is no secret, my people are great skaters. Apollo Ono? Heard of him? Oh no biggy, only the most Asian looking speed skater you've ever seen. And Michelle Kwan, yeah... I rest my case." Pat King also played a solid game and increased his point streak with an assist. "I'd just like to say that tonight, I painted the proverbial esophagus of the Mad Dad's defense. I was tearing it up. It's proverbial so you can print that right?"
Not every player was happy and throwing out fellatio analogies afterwards though. "I thought we played like shit." A frustrated Tony told reporters. "Any loss hurts, but we could have won tonight, and that hurts extra. The amount of pain I am feeling right now is irregular." Captain Steve shared his comrade's sentiments. "My skates are fucked up, so I'm just frustrated." He then threw a trashcan onto the indoor soccer field's playing surface, which was nothing out of the usual as another bonfire had been lit at midfield following a team Honduras' goal.
That's it for tonight. I'm still a bit tired from JMU this weekend and the incessant hitting on every girl that I did, but I'll recover. Make sure everyone keeps it fresh, don't let it ever get stale. Feel free to post on the comment section if you would like to request topics to be touched on. Later Soviets.
No comments:
Post a Comment