I'm updating this on the train back from Anchorage, Alaska and I'm not sure how good my internet service is, so I'll have to be brief.
This All Star Weekend proved to be a lot of fun for the four Soviets that the fans voted in. Pat King, Tony Horton, Ryan Odell, and Scott Hoefer all showcased their talents in this weekend's festivities, but are glad to be heading back east where they can focus on their goal: A bronze league championship.
"It's always fun to be a part of these things." Ryan Odell said about participating in his fourth All Star game. "It's great to sign autographs for the fans and mingle with some of the other players that we don't talk to that much during the regular season."
Odell netted a goal and two assists in the game itself, helping the North American Team defeat the World Team in an offense filled 15-9 game. Scott Hoefer and Tony Horton, both of whom (zig) hail from Germany, netted hat tricks for the World Team.
"I'm glad my scoring could continue into the All Star Weekend." Horton told reporters afterward. "It's just about keeping momentum going. Obviously it is never fun to be on the losing side of things, but the game was for show really."
Hoefer, who is a cult icon in Germany, addressed a mob of journalists and interviewers. I wasn't able to get close enough to hear what he was saying, but at one point the entire press conference room was chanting what sounded to be like "Daka cow" or "Danka now". (I'm being told it was in reference to Hoefer's modeling career as a spokesperson for Yooookhooootz Schokoladenmilch, a popular German brand of chocolate milk).
The highlight of the weekend was provided by King, who was caught copulating with a fan when the Kiss Cam panned over to him. It is still unclear how King managed to gain entrance to the bleachers from the bench, make it all the way up to the 400's level while wearing skates, and be in the process of wrapping up, so to speak, in such little time.
"Even though I didn't manage to score during the game, I'm glad I was able to score with a fan." A smug King said. "I know I have the reputation for going top shelf, but today I thought I'd go five hole. And by that, I mean all five holes. LAAAAAABIA!"
With the mid-season skate over with, Mother Russia returns to action on Tuesday against Arrrr. After that game, the Soviets face the Hurricanes on Sunday before the highly anticipated match-up versus the Cryptic Stench. Though it is never good to look past games, the game against the Stench could prove to be a very good measuring stick to see how exactly the Red Army stacks up.
OTHER NEWS AND NOTES:
-Steve Hand and Andy Schram spent their break up in New York City at a hotel bar for a birthday party of the Captain's girlfriend. Hand managed to run up a hefty tab, while Schram managed to run himself outside of the tolerable levels of hotel management.
-Ben Breiterman, Jerrod Funk, and Mark Hendricks spent their weekend attending a charity event at the Children's Hospital in DC. "We had no idea who these athletes were." Chief Resident Doctor Andrea Linoln told reporters. "There jerseys wreaked of body odor and sweat and they spent much of the day hogging the buffet table. We're pretty sure that #56 stole our MRI machine."
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