The Red Army increased their win streak to five games tonight in what was easily the most lopsided game of the season. Despite missing Captain Steve Hand (shoulder injury), Jerrod Funk (work), Andy Schram (Redskins game), and Scott Hoefer (wedding), the Soviets prevailed 14-0 in shutout fashion as Kraus stopped both shots he faced.
While there is not really a point in breaking down the goal scoring (though is should be noted that Donte netted at least five) I will highlight one play from each player:
Ryan Odell: After dishing the puck down low to Ben Breiterman, Odell crept into the high slot and took a return feed that he one-timed five hole. On the gorgeous scale, I give it a 9 out of 12 (everyone knows that the gorgeous scale is out of 12).
Ben Breiterman: His prettiest play is the only one of the bunch that doesn't end with a goal. Breiterman, while streaking down the right wing, faked a drop pass to Pat King. The defenseman, anticipating a loose puck, lunged for the puck... but it was not there. New Guy Ben had kicked the puck back to his stick, faking the drop pass, and tried to stuff it five hole on the unsuspecting goalie. The puck landed on the goal line but did not cross. Still, the old placebo drop pass is one that had many of us throwing up the "L"s just for its beauty.
Tony Horton: Horton skated the puck out through center and took it in on the right side during a two on one with Donte. Horton showed shot the whole way, before curling a ridiculous pass onto the tape of Donte, who promptly fired it home. It was the Big Rig's prettiest assist in his young career.
Pat King: After Mark Hendricks fanned embarrassingly on a one timer from the left slot, King snuck backdoor on the right. Hendricks corralled the puck and fired a seam pass that King caught and fired five hole. The elapsed time between the Hendricks misfire and the King tally was 2 seconds.
Mark Hendricks: After King won a faceoff in the offensive zone directly back to Odell, Hendricks backed away towards the left circle opening up for the one timer. Odell fed a soft pass over to #18, who fired a wicked hard one timer that nicked the crossbar before denting the twine. It was the hardest shot of Hendricks' illustrious career.
Matt Kraus: Glove save, second period. Yeah... the Comrades limited the Hurricanes from ever mounting any serious pressure. That being said, a shutout is still a shutout.
So that's that. Here are what some of Mother Russia's boys said afterward:
On the lack of competition tonight:
Odell: "I think it sucked. These were two completely different teams. They are clearly going through a rebuild and we are on the verge of something great perhaps. It was hard to get motivated, but I think we did what we had to do."
Breiterman: "I'm just glad I was able to take a huge dump as the Exxon before the game, if not, the Hurricanes wouldn't have been the only ones stinking up the rink."
King: "Throw your "L"s up!"
Horton: "Even Poland put up more of a struggle than the Hurricanes did tonight."
Hendricks: "Laaaaaaaaaaaabia... but no Scott tonight...it just isn't the same."
On Kraus returning and earning a shutout:
Hendricks: "He did what he had to. I think we had more goals than they had shots though."
King: "He was good. I think the time of possession was 44:30 to 0:30, in favor of us though."
Odell: "He was solid out there. Then again, I think we hit more posts than they got shots tonight."
Breiterman: "A shutout is always awesome. That being said I really felt like Christopher Reeve could have stopped everything sent his way tonight. And that's without the x-ray vision."
Horton: "He stopped everything tonight. Though I should mention that the amount of pucks fired his way is comparable to the amount of times fat kids doing belly flops off of high dives don't make it to Youtube.
On Tuesday's game versus Cryptic Stench:
King: "Bout fucking time baby! Time to get some serious action!"
Odell: "I'm going to love that game, I expect a high energy game!"
Horton: "I'm licking my chops at a crack at the top spot team!"
Hendricks: "Bring it on..."
Breiterman: "I have to attend a PTA meeting... just kidding, just kidding."
So that's it here from the Sportsplex. With the two points, the Red Army is now 6-2-1. With one more win they can clinch a winning record for the season. Also, with the exception of the Cryptic Stench, teams ahead of them have been losing. The Red Army now controls their own destiny for earning a bye in the first round of the playoffs. That is, if Mother Russia were to finish the season with five more victories, the lowest possible that they could finish would be fourth place. Two weeks ago that seemed far fetched... tonight that seems very possible.
Sleep well, Comrades.
THREE STARS:
3: Matt Kraus
2: Mark Hendricks
1: Donte
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