In a little less than five hours, the Soviets set out on a three month quest to defend the title they earned last season. Appropriately, the season begins with a challenge. The Strangers, the only team not to fall to Communist Russia last season, look to be the first team to humble the Soviets, who based on the last few weekends, appear to all still be residing on cloud nine.
Some brief notes before the game/season.
-As mentioned earlier, Ryan Odell was shipped to the Gold Division team Nightman. We wish our ex-commie the best of luck.
-Brian Lynch and Jamie Simek will be playing their first games after a few seasons hiatus.
-Scott Hoefer and Pat King are healthy scratches. Hoefer begins full time work tomorrow early in the morning while King is simply just a woman.
-Brad Lotocki has an upper body injury and is day to day. He will not play tonight.
That's that. Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tony Horton
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Tony Horton
Regular Season: 12 GP: 12 G, 11 A, 23 P
Post Season: 4 GP: 2 G, 3 A, 5 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
The Big Rig continued his progression this season as he turned in many solid outings on the wing. Since his move up from defense to the forward slot, he has developed a nose forweiner schnitzel the net and a has proven he can establish a dominating presence in the crease. Those things, paired with his speed, make him a handful for opposing defenders.
But we could go on and on about how Horton again exceeded expectations and break down facets of his game that stand out, but that wouldn't be as entertaining as watching this again, would it? Go ahead, click it here too. See what I'm doing? You have so many opportunities to watch the link? It's the same link every time too. Except for this one. That's just a good song. But this, yeah, you guessed it. Never gets old does it?
Thanks Tony, you've given me another video to favorite on my Youtube account.
Regular Season: A
Post Season Rounds 1&2: A++
Championship Series: A+
Tony Horton
Regular Season: 12 GP: 12 G, 11 A, 23 P
Post Season: 4 GP: 2 G, 3 A, 5 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
The Big Rig continued his progression this season as he turned in many solid outings on the wing. Since his move up from defense to the forward slot, he has developed a nose for
But we could go on and on about how Horton again exceeded expectations and break down facets of his game that stand out, but that wouldn't be as entertaining as watching this again, would it? Go ahead, click it here too. See what I'm doing? You have so many opportunities to watch the link? It's the same link every time too. Except for this one. That's just a good song. But this, yeah, you guessed it. Never gets old does it?
Thanks Tony, you've given me another video to favorite on my Youtube account.
Regular Season: A
Post Season Rounds 1&2: A++
Championship Series: A+
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Scott Hoefer
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Scott Hoefer
Regular Season Stats: 14 GP: 9 G, 15 A, 24 P
Post Season Stats: 4 GP: 0 G, 3 A, 3 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Scott Hoefer's personal stats this season were modest at best. Fans know he won't be providing the end to end rushes that his fellow defensemen Ben Breiterman, Ryan Odell, and Brad Lotocki can. But it wasn't his offensive skills that made Hoefer the Red Army Digest's pick for breakout player of the season. It was his defense, and the manner in which he threw himself in front of flying shots with reckless abandonment that made him such an easy selection for said title.
And the penalty kill? Hoefer's efforts while the team was a man down earned him the nickname the serial penalty killer. The Hoefer led penalty kill boasted the league's best percentage at 83%. Without it, the Comrades would still be without a banner to hang from the rafters of the Plex. In both playoff overtime games the Communists played in, they were whistled for penalties in the extra frame. Red Army teams of the past would have wilted, conceded a goal, and chalked up another season ending because of discipline problems. Not this team, and it is thanks in large part to Hoefer. The defenseman led the team in blocked shots, blocked passes, and bruises.
Walking with a limp never felt so good.
Regular Season: A+
Post Season Rounds 1&2: A+
Championship Series: A+
Scott Hoefer
Regular Season Stats: 14 GP: 9 G, 15 A, 24 P
Post Season Stats: 4 GP: 0 G, 3 A, 3 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Scott Hoefer's personal stats this season were modest at best. Fans know he won't be providing the end to end rushes that his fellow defensemen Ben Breiterman, Ryan Odell, and Brad Lotocki can. But it wasn't his offensive skills that made Hoefer the Red Army Digest's pick for breakout player of the season. It was his defense, and the manner in which he threw himself in front of flying shots with reckless abandonment that made him such an easy selection for said title.
And the penalty kill? Hoefer's efforts while the team was a man down earned him the nickname the serial penalty killer. The Hoefer led penalty kill boasted the league's best percentage at 83%. Without it, the Comrades would still be without a banner to hang from the rafters of the Plex. In both playoff overtime games the Communists played in, they were whistled for penalties in the extra frame. Red Army teams of the past would have wilted, conceded a goal, and chalked up another season ending because of discipline problems. Not this team, and it is thanks in large part to Hoefer. The defenseman led the team in blocked shots, blocked passes, and bruises.
Walking with a limp never felt so good.
Regular Season: A+
Post Season Rounds 1&2: A+
Championship Series: A+
Peter Hendricks
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Peter Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 1GP: 1 G, 2 A, 3 P
The Patient One returned for one game this season. He notched a few assists and tallied once, but it was his presence, nay, presents, that had many Comrades appreciative of his return.
Who would have thought that a horn, some homemade vodka, and a flag of a Soviet man could spark a roller hockey team to greatness? Well, it happened. Peter brought his Comrades some "Ch-ch" and his Comrades brought him a Ch-Championship.
That's what you call a great deal at the deadline.
Regular Season: A+
Life: A+
Peter Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 1GP: 1 G, 2 A, 3 P
The Patient One returned for one game this season. He notched a few assists and tallied once, but it was his presence, nay, presents, that had many Comrades appreciative of his return.
Who would have thought that a horn, some homemade vodka, and a flag of a Soviet man could spark a roller hockey team to greatness? Well, it happened. Peter brought his Comrades some "Ch-ch" and his Comrades brought him a Ch-Championship.
That's what you call a great deal at the deadline.
Regular Season: A+
Life: A+
Neal Hendricks
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Neal Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 2GP: 3 G, 2 A, 5 P
Post Season Stats: 1GP: 2G, 1 A, 3 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Neal Hendricks didn't skate very many shifts for Russia this season, but when he did, he made them count. Some would argue that without Neal in the lineup, the Soviets not only don't win the championship, they don't get past the second round. Yes, against the Cryptic Stench, Neal, put simply, was that good.
He scored the first goal of the playoffs on a neat tip out of midair. Then, outdoing himself, he took the entire defense of the Stench on, as well as the clock, and sniped a snap shot off the pipe and in as time expired later in that same period. In fifteen minutes, he had vaulted the Comrades to a commanding 3-0 lead (he assisted on Mark's tally as well, if my memory serves me right).
It's moments like that, whether those moments are as short as three seconds of stick handling or as long as an entire period of domination, that have many fans excited to see what Neal can do. Perhaps the Red Army has two sixty plus point scorers on their team?
Regular Season: B
Post Season Round 1: A++
Neal Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 2GP: 3 G, 2 A, 5 P
Post Season Stats: 1GP: 2G, 1 A, 3 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Neal Hendricks didn't skate very many shifts for Russia this season, but when he did, he made them count. Some would argue that without Neal in the lineup, the Soviets not only don't win the championship, they don't get past the second round. Yes, against the Cryptic Stench, Neal, put simply, was that good.
He scored the first goal of the playoffs on a neat tip out of midair. Then, outdoing himself, he took the entire defense of the Stench on, as well as the clock, and sniped a snap shot off the pipe and in as time expired later in that same period. In fifteen minutes, he had vaulted the Comrades to a commanding 3-0 lead (he assisted on Mark's tally as well, if my memory serves me right).
It's moments like that, whether those moments are as short as three seconds of stick handling or as long as an entire period of domination, that have many fans excited to see what Neal can do. Perhaps the Red Army has two sixty plus point scorers on their team?
Regular Season: B
Post Season Round 1: A++
Mark Hendricks
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Mark Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 14GP: 38 G, 33 A, 71 P
Post Season Stars: 4GP: 6 G, 7 A, 13 P
(All stars per Hendricksmemoryability)
To many, Mark Hendricks is Red Army. As the most tenured Soviet, he has seen the good, the bad, the really bad, the atrociously bad, and recently, the awesome. In this past season, he set another slew of franchise records with his goals, assists, points and most points in a game totals. After last season's 68 points, many thought Hendricks had hit his peak, and with other players asserting themselves offensively, Hendricks probably wouldn't eclipse the 60 point mark again. They were wrong. With other players scoring, Hendricks' assist total went from the low twenties to the low thirties. His goal total remained around the same, hovering just below that 40 goal plateau. Still, it wasn't the stats that made people fall in love with the Rocket Richard, Ross, and Hart trophy winner (the Pearson went to Steve Hand, who has a distinct advantage because he is sleeping with Pearson), it was his two way play in the post season.
Hendricks had been there before, atop the league stats in every category on an average to above average team. What happens? The playoffs come, he is shut down, his team loses, and they start again. This postseason, Hendricks committed himself to dictating the pace of the game and dominating puck possession. It paid dividends. In the second round, he has a goal and three assists. In the third round, he had three goals. In both games in the championship series, he had a goal and an assist. He no longer needed the five or six goal nights that previous Red Army teams needed him to have just to stay in the game. Hendricks made sure that when he was on the rink, his line was going to have the puck. Even if they didn't score, they didn't get scored on. His line finished with at least a +1 rating every game, and it was by no coincidence that three of the Soviet victories in the playoffs were of the one goal variety.
Hendricks, unlike many of his fellow Comrades, will forever be judged on the team's performance, especially playoff performance, rather than his own. His personal accolades are well documented and it is no secret that the offensive talents he possesses make opposing defenders and goalies nervous, but it is how he makes the team go that truly matters. For many seasons, #18 was merely a good player on an okay team.
Now he's the best player on the best team.
Regular Season: A+
Playoff Rounds 1&2: A+
Championship Series: A+
Fun note: Hendricks enjoyed his first career penalty free regular season. He was whistled once in the playoffs for hooking. Scott Hoefer killed the penalty.
Mark Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 14GP: 38 G, 33 A, 71 P
Post Season Stars: 4GP: 6 G, 7 A, 13 P
(All stars per Hendricksmemoryability)
To many, Mark Hendricks is Red Army. As the most tenured Soviet, he has seen the good, the bad, the really bad, the atrociously bad, and recently, the awesome. In this past season, he set another slew of franchise records with his goals, assists, points and most points in a game totals. After last season's 68 points, many thought Hendricks had hit his peak, and with other players asserting themselves offensively, Hendricks probably wouldn't eclipse the 60 point mark again. They were wrong. With other players scoring, Hendricks' assist total went from the low twenties to the low thirties. His goal total remained around the same, hovering just below that 40 goal plateau. Still, it wasn't the stats that made people fall in love with the Rocket Richard, Ross, and Hart trophy winner (the Pearson went to Steve Hand, who has a distinct advantage because he is sleeping with Pearson), it was his two way play in the post season.
Hendricks had been there before, atop the league stats in every category on an average to above average team. What happens? The playoffs come, he is shut down, his team loses, and they start again. This postseason, Hendricks committed himself to dictating the pace of the game and dominating puck possession. It paid dividends. In the second round, he has a goal and three assists. In the third round, he had three goals. In both games in the championship series, he had a goal and an assist. He no longer needed the five or six goal nights that previous Red Army teams needed him to have just to stay in the game. Hendricks made sure that when he was on the rink, his line was going to have the puck. Even if they didn't score, they didn't get scored on. His line finished with at least a +1 rating every game, and it was by no coincidence that three of the Soviet victories in the playoffs were of the one goal variety.
Hendricks, unlike many of his fellow Comrades, will forever be judged on the team's performance, especially playoff performance, rather than his own. His personal accolades are well documented and it is no secret that the offensive talents he possesses make opposing defenders and goalies nervous, but it is how he makes the team go that truly matters. For many seasons, #18 was merely a good player on an okay team.
Now he's the best player on the best team.
Regular Season: A+
Playoff Rounds 1&2: A+
Championship Series: A+
Fun note: Hendricks enjoyed his first career penalty free regular season. He was whistled once in the playoffs for hooking. Scott Hoefer killed the penalty.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ryan Odell Out, Jamie Simek and Brian Lynch In
It's been a busy week for the Soviets as they continue to celebrate their championship, but business is business, and roster changes had to be made. Defenseman Ryan Odell tested the free agency market and was picked up a Gold Division team. With the open cap space, player/coach/general manager Mark Hendricks brought back Jamie Simek and Brian Lynch to the Communist Front. We'll have more on this later this weekend with a preseason write up, but for now let's just pour some out for our departed Comrade Odell, who really grew on us this season.
(Taps plays)
(Taps plays)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Brian "Beege" Hendricks
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Beege Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 3 GP: 2 G, 5A, 7P
Post Season Stats: 1GP: 0 G, 1 A, 1 P
(All stars per Hendricksmemoryability)
No player has endured more physical suffering in the Red Army's history than Beege. His knee surgery has been well documented over the seasons, and with thirty stitches and two screws (still lodged in his right knee), Beege continues to be the closest thing anyone on the Red Army has ever been to being the Six Million Dollar Man. Still, it is was his shift from offense to defense that helped create the real reconstruction of the Red Army.
In a time whenmany younger brothers would have complained to their older brother about the lines being unfair and wanting to play on offense to score more goals many players might voice their disapproval on the coaching staff switching up positions, Beege skated on the blue line with little hesitation. As a naturally gifted skater, Beege was able to join the rush and still have enough get up and go to be back to defend. His offensive skills outweighed his defensive ones, but lately, especially this past season, it was evident that the one the fans refer to as "the Beege" had turned a corner. He had a more physical presence, a more active poke check, and more courage stepping in front of shots. All of these, added with a booming slap shot, gave the Red Army a gem on the back line.
This season, in only four games (regular and postseason play), he amassed eight points. More impressive though, was his defensive contributions. Playing alongside Brad Lotocki, Ryan Odell, and Ben Breiterman, three defensemen known for their offensive upsides, Beege took on a more defensive role. The result, a 3-0-1 record with him in the lineup, including a convincing 5-2 second round victory over the Cryptic Stench.
He may not be here for many games until the summer, but when he is, the Beege makes his presence felt.
REGULAR SEASON GRADE: A
POST SEASON ROUNDS 1 & 2 GRADE: A+
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES GRADE: A+ (supported the team from Blacksburg on Facebook)
Beege Hendricks
Regular Season Stats: 3 GP: 2 G, 5A, 7P
Post Season Stats: 1GP: 0 G, 1 A, 1 P
(All stars per Hendricksmemoryability)
No player has endured more physical suffering in the Red Army's history than Beege. His knee surgery has been well documented over the seasons, and with thirty stitches and two screws (still lodged in his right knee), Beege continues to be the closest thing anyone on the Red Army has ever been to being the Six Million Dollar Man. Still, it is was his shift from offense to defense that helped create the real reconstruction of the Red Army.
In a time when
This season, in only four games (regular and postseason play), he amassed eight points. More impressive though, was his defensive contributions. Playing alongside Brad Lotocki, Ryan Odell, and Ben Breiterman, three defensemen known for their offensive upsides, Beege took on a more defensive role. The result, a 3-0-1 record with him in the lineup, including a convincing 5-2 second round victory over the Cryptic Stench.
He may not be here for many games until the summer, but when he is, the Beege makes his presence felt.
REGULAR SEASON GRADE: A
POST SEASON ROUNDS 1 & 2 GRADE: A+
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES GRADE: A+ (supported the team from Blacksburg on Facebook)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Steve Hand
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Steve Hand
Regular Season Stats: 12 GP: 11 G, 8 A, 19 P
Postseason Stats: 4 GP: 2 G, 3 A, 5 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Oh captain, my captain. Steve Hand, born February 5, 1988, was the first, and to date, only, captain in the Red Army's history to lead his team to the promise land. Yes, some of the players to have ever worn the "C" for the Red Army possessed more skill than Hand. Yes, some of the ex-captains established more physical presences, it is true. But none, and by that I mean absolutely zero, of those captains before him had the leadership to rally the entire squad and ensure that the last game the Red Army played in the season would be a win.
His timely goals, all of which were scored in Red Army victories (9-0 regular season, 2-0 post season), earned him the nickname "The Kiss of Death". Like the Silver Surfer appearing on a planet a few days prior to its impending doom, Hand's goals, regardless the stage of the game that they were scored in, set off a series of irreversible events that would inevitably end in two points for the Soviets, regardless of the feeble attempts of Bronze Division rivals.
Hand scored two goals in the playoffs, one in the third round game against Prestige Worldwide and the other, the eventual game winner, in game one in the championship series against the Puck Ewes. His linemate, Tony Horton, and him went goal for goal with Mark Hendricks and Pat King in the four playoff games, and despite being dubbed the "second" line with hopes of providing "secondary" scoring, the two of them played first rate and were a primary reason the Soviets have a title to defend.
Also, Hand played goalie once in an early season Red Army victory. That's just showing range.
Appropriately it was the captain who first got to lay his paws on the Jenkins Cup T-Shirts and hoist it above his head. He had led his team from the depths of the division, to a first round bye, and then to the top of the world. But hey, that's why he wears the "C".
REGULAR SEASON GRADE: B+
POST SEASON ROUNDS 2 & 3: A
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES: A+
Steve Hand
Regular Season Stats: 12 GP: 11 G, 8 A, 19 P
Postseason Stats: 4 GP: 2 G, 3 A, 5 P
(All stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Oh captain, my captain. Steve Hand, born February 5, 1988, was the first, and to date, only, captain in the Red Army's history to lead his team to the promise land. Yes, some of the players to have ever worn the "C" for the Red Army possessed more skill than Hand. Yes, some of the ex-captains established more physical presences, it is true. But none, and by that I mean absolutely zero, of those captains before him had the leadership to rally the entire squad and ensure that the last game the Red Army played in the season would be a win.
His timely goals, all of which were scored in Red Army victories (9-0 regular season, 2-0 post season), earned him the nickname "The Kiss of Death". Like the Silver Surfer appearing on a planet a few days prior to its impending doom, Hand's goals, regardless the stage of the game that they were scored in, set off a series of irreversible events that would inevitably end in two points for the Soviets, regardless of the feeble attempts of Bronze Division rivals.
Hand scored two goals in the playoffs, one in the third round game against Prestige Worldwide and the other, the eventual game winner, in game one in the championship series against the Puck Ewes. His linemate, Tony Horton, and him went goal for goal with Mark Hendricks and Pat King in the four playoff games, and despite being dubbed the "second" line with hopes of providing "secondary" scoring, the two of them played first rate and were a primary reason the Soviets have a title to defend.
Also, Hand played goalie once in an early season Red Army victory. That's just showing range.
Appropriately it was the captain who first got to lay his paws on the Jenkins Cup T-Shirts and hoist it above his head. He had led his team from the depths of the division, to a first round bye, and then to the top of the world. But hey, that's why he wears the "C".
REGULAR SEASON GRADE: B+
POST SEASON ROUNDS 2 & 3: A
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES: A+
Monday, January 25, 2010
Ben Breiterman
As a token of appreciation to the players that laced them up for the Jenkins Cup Champion Red Army team this late fall and early winter, the blog will be highlighting each player's season and doing a brief recap of a few defining moments that the player made to help Mother Russia dance her way to greatness.
Ben Breiterman:
Regular Season: 4 GP: 5 G, 5 A, 10 P
Playoffs: 4 GP: 5 G, 5 A, 10 P
(Regular season stats per Sportability, Postseason stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Ben "Benny Boy" Breiterman will always hold a special place in the hearts of Soviet fans. Not only did he score thegame series championship winning goal against the Puck Ewes in overtime, but his solid play on both the offensive and defensive sides of the rink made the other players around him better. His sound positioning and skating ability rounded out one of, if not the finest, defensive corps in franchise history, while his offensive prowess added firepower to a set of forwards who needed no help in finding the back of the net.
Then there's his physical presence.
Anyone following this team long enough knows that Breiterman does not shy away from the rough stuff. Seldom does the defender start it, but when he is instigated, he is more than capable of ending it (see Loges). A calming presence on the bench and in the locker room, the mellow toned Breiterman has a fire burning in his belly that burns deeper than four shots of "ch-ch" taken out of a ram's horn. Then again, would you expect anything different from a man synonymous with lavish prostitute-themed parties and stories of GMILF hunting in Ocean City?
Still, what everyone wants to read about is simply: "the goal". And while I could throw adjectives together a paint a scene that evokes goosebumps, I'd rather give an angle that few have seen, or rather, heard, before. WRAH, the flagship radio station of the Red Army, produced one of the greatest goal calls in the history of radio. Vladislav Ovechsemlamov, the play by play voice of Red Army Hockey four five years now, said after that game that "Now I can die in peace."
The goal call? Well, there is no link to hear the actual call itself, but loyal fan Sergei Murphy was gracious enough to send us an email with the call typed up. So, thanks to Mr. Murphy, here is Mr. Ovechsemlamov's call.
"...Seven minutes gone by here in the extra frame with the score tied four to four. The Soviets have already had a power play in overtime but were unable to capitalize. Face off to the left of Schram here as King leans in for the draw. Face off is won back to Breiterman and he'll take it around the net. Lot's of fans here in attendance tonight and all of them are standing, waiting to perhaps see history. Hendricks with the puck now and he'll carry it through center and into the zone. Hendricks being pressured turns back into his own zone and flips a pass over to Breiterman who has activated from the point. Breiterman eludes the check of a man and skates toward the goal looking for a shot! Breiterman lowers his shoulder to get the backhand off but elects to go forehand instead! He shoots.... GOALLLLLLLLL! GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL! DO YOU BELIEVE IT?!? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!? BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! THE RED ARMY HAS JUST WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP! I REPEAT, THE RED ARMY HAS JUST WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP! THEY SAID IT WASN'T POSSIBLE, THEY SAID IT WOULD NEVER BE DONE, BUT THE RED ARMY HAS JUST KNOCKED DOWN GOLIATH AND NOW STAND ALONE AS BRONZE LEAGUE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! THEY'RE PARTYING IN THE STREETS OF MOSCOW! (audible sound of a can opening, followed by several seconds of drinking, followed by another can opening, and more drinking) WEEEEE ARE THE CHAMMMMPIONS MY FRIENNNNND..."
Vintage Ovechsemlamov. Excitable, loud, and toasty. I guess that's Soviet hockey as well.
And to wrap up Breiterman's recap, as requested by some people who wanted grades for the season, I shall make the grades in three categories. 1) Regular season, 2) Post Season rounds 2 and 3, and 3) Championship Series
REGULAR SEASON: B
POST SEASON ROUNDS 2 and 3: A
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES: A+
Those grades will get you into Gold league.
Ben Breiterman:
Regular Season: 4 GP: 5 G, 5 A, 10 P
Playoffs: 4 GP: 5 G, 5 A, 10 P
(Regular season stats per Sportability, Postseason stats per Hendricksmemoryability)
Ben "Benny Boy" Breiterman will always hold a special place in the hearts of Soviet fans. Not only did he score the
Then there's his physical presence.
Anyone following this team long enough knows that Breiterman does not shy away from the rough stuff. Seldom does the defender start it, but when he is instigated, he is more than capable of ending it (see Loges). A calming presence on the bench and in the locker room, the mellow toned Breiterman has a fire burning in his belly that burns deeper than four shots of "ch-ch" taken out of a ram's horn. Then again, would you expect anything different from a man synonymous with lavish prostitute-themed parties and stories of GMILF hunting in Ocean City?
Still, what everyone wants to read about is simply: "the goal". And while I could throw adjectives together a paint a scene that evokes goosebumps, I'd rather give an angle that few have seen, or rather, heard, before. WRAH, the flagship radio station of the Red Army, produced one of the greatest goal calls in the history of radio. Vladislav Ovechsemlamov, the play by play voice of Red Army Hockey four five years now, said after that game that "Now I can die in peace."
The goal call? Well, there is no link to hear the actual call itself, but loyal fan Sergei Murphy was gracious enough to send us an email with the call typed up. So, thanks to Mr. Murphy, here is Mr. Ovechsemlamov's call.
"...Seven minutes gone by here in the extra frame with the score tied four to four. The Soviets have already had a power play in overtime but were unable to capitalize. Face off to the left of Schram here as King leans in for the draw. Face off is won back to Breiterman and he'll take it around the net. Lot's of fans here in attendance tonight and all of them are standing, waiting to perhaps see history. Hendricks with the puck now and he'll carry it through center and into the zone. Hendricks being pressured turns back into his own zone and flips a pass over to Breiterman who has activated from the point. Breiterman eludes the check of a man and skates toward the goal looking for a shot! Breiterman lowers his shoulder to get the backhand off but elects to go forehand instead! He shoots.... GOALLLLLLLLL! GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL! DO YOU BELIEVE IT?!? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!? BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! THE RED ARMY HAS JUST WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP! I REPEAT, THE RED ARMY HAS JUST WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP! THEY SAID IT WASN'T POSSIBLE, THEY SAID IT WOULD NEVER BE DONE, BUT THE RED ARMY HAS JUST KNOCKED DOWN GOLIATH AND NOW STAND ALONE AS BRONZE LEAGUE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! THEY'RE PARTYING IN THE STREETS OF MOSCOW! (audible sound of a can opening, followed by several seconds of drinking, followed by another can opening, and more drinking) WEEEEE ARE THE CHAMMMMPIONS MY FRIENNNNND..."
Vintage Ovechsemlamov. Excitable, loud, and toasty. I guess that's Soviet hockey as well.
And to wrap up Breiterman's recap, as requested by some people who wanted grades for the season, I shall make the grades in three categories. 1) Regular season, 2) Post Season rounds 2 and 3, and 3) Championship Series
REGULAR SEASON: B
POST SEASON ROUNDS 2 and 3: A
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES: A+
Those grades will get you into Gold league.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Best Break Down Day of All Time
Typically, after the conclusion of a season, players remove their equipment from the locker room, say goodbye to teammates, and head back to their respective home towns while mulling over another championship-less season. The team usually releases an injury report as to who was playing hurt, what the extent of the injury was, and what treatment the player was receiving. Weighing heaviest on the minds of players though, is the uncertainty that is the off season. Are personnel changes coming and some players going to be shipped out of town?
Well, what normally is the gloomiest day of the year for hockey teams was anything but that in the Red Army locker room this morning. With the adrenaline of the championship win still pumping through the collective veins of the Soviets, the spirits, as well as BAC's of the players, remained high.
"I'm still partying," captain Steve Hand said, addressing members of the media while wearing only his underwear. "I just can't stop partying. We're champions."
Goaltender and MVP of the playoffs Andy Schram was in an equally festive mood. "Cannonball!" Schram said, jumping off the top of the laundry hamper into a kiddie pool filled with Stolichnaya Blueberry Vodka.
The room erupted as several players began chanting "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch".
Despite the bumps and bruises, which is quite an understatement, all of the players traded their ice packs for six packs.
This is the official injury report, released by the team last night:
Breiterman, Ben: Back spasms, sprained mustache, pulled hamstring.
Hand, Steve: Sprained ankle, bruised rib.
Hendricks, Mark: Sprained wrist, sprained hand, hyper-extended arm, bruised neck.
Hoefer, Scott: Arthritis.
Horton, Tony: Fractured wrist, bruised German ego from 60 years prior.
King, Pat: Sprained finger.
Odell, Ryan: Broken legs, broken arms, paralysis, severed head, paper cut.
Schram, Andy: Severely bruised left hand.
Brad Lotocki, the lone player not listed on the injury report, informed me earlier this morning that, "Real men don't get injured." This was of course vintage Lotocki, as shortly after dropping those words of wisdom on me, he was spotted roasting a grizzly bear on an open flame. "Bear entree!" Lotocki yelled, adding dashes of pepper to the rotating beast.
King, Hendricks, and Breiterman, while all injured, deemed themselves in good enough health to receive matching tattoos.
"It was Pat's idea," Breiterman said. "The Labia line has been together for a few seasons now, and he thought it was time we got something to honor it."
Breiterman, who already has a tattoo on his back of pac-man, opted to put the "L" on his chest, while King and Hendricks went upper back.
"I have a few tats already," King said. "But this one gives me three, and since I am hat trick Patrick it is only appropriate that I complete the ink trick."
Hendricks was less enthusiastic about receiving the tattoo.
"Ahhh needles!" Hendricks said, flailing his arms up and down before putting on another tight shirt.
Hoefer will also be participating in the labia line ink brotherhood, but the defenseman will be getting henna tattoo versions of the logo every other month.
Odell and Horton were unable for comment because they were spending the day at local elementary schools lecturing students on the importance of practicing good hygiene and staying out of gangs, especially Jewish ones.
Hoefer was also unable to comment because he is still overcome with emotion following the championship win, though he did manage to mouth, "J-E-T-S"
So... breakdown day is a lot different when it follows a championship. The mood is happy, the drinks are Russian, and the shirts are red. What more could you ask for?
Domino's coupons?
"We got those," Schram said, waving his new catching glove around pretending to catch everything. "We got those."
Well, what normally is the gloomiest day of the year for hockey teams was anything but that in the Red Army locker room this morning. With the adrenaline of the championship win still pumping through the collective veins of the Soviets, the spirits, as well as BAC's of the players, remained high.
"I'm still partying," captain Steve Hand said, addressing members of the media while wearing only his underwear. "I just can't stop partying. We're champions."
Goaltender and MVP of the playoffs Andy Schram was in an equally festive mood. "Cannonball!" Schram said, jumping off the top of the laundry hamper into a kiddie pool filled with Stolichnaya Blueberry Vodka.
The room erupted as several players began chanting "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch".
Despite the bumps and bruises, which is quite an understatement, all of the players traded their ice packs for six packs.
This is the official injury report, released by the team last night:
Breiterman, Ben: Back spasms, sprained mustache, pulled hamstring.
Hand, Steve: Sprained ankle, bruised rib.
Hendricks, Mark: Sprained wrist, sprained hand, hyper-extended arm, bruised neck.
Hoefer, Scott: Arthritis.
Horton, Tony: Fractured wrist, bruised German ego from 60 years prior.
King, Pat: Sprained finger.
Odell, Ryan: Broken legs, broken arms, paralysis, severed head, paper cut.
Schram, Andy: Severely bruised left hand.
Brad Lotocki, the lone player not listed on the injury report, informed me earlier this morning that, "Real men don't get injured." This was of course vintage Lotocki, as shortly after dropping those words of wisdom on me, he was spotted roasting a grizzly bear on an open flame. "Bear entree!" Lotocki yelled, adding dashes of pepper to the rotating beast.
King, Hendricks, and Breiterman, while all injured, deemed themselves in good enough health to receive matching tattoos.
"It was Pat's idea," Breiterman said. "The Labia line has been together for a few seasons now, and he thought it was time we got something to honor it."
Breiterman, who already has a tattoo on his back of pac-man, opted to put the "L" on his chest, while King and Hendricks went upper back.
"I have a few tats already," King said. "But this one gives me three, and since I am hat trick Patrick it is only appropriate that I complete the ink trick."
Hendricks was less enthusiastic about receiving the tattoo.
"Ahhh needles!" Hendricks said, flailing his arms up and down before putting on another tight shirt.
Hoefer will also be participating in the labia line ink brotherhood, but the defenseman will be getting henna tattoo versions of the logo every other month.
Odell and Horton were unable for comment because they were spending the day at local elementary schools lecturing students on the importance of practicing good hygiene and staying out of gangs, especially Jewish ones.
Hoefer was also unable to comment because he is still overcome with emotion following the championship win, though he did manage to mouth, "J-E-T-S"
So... breakdown day is a lot different when it follows a championship. The mood is happy, the drinks are Russian, and the shirts are red. What more could you ask for?
Domino's coupons?
"We got those," Schram said, waving his new catching glove around pretending to catch everything. "We got those."
Friday, January 22, 2010
Champions
Best headline of the season? I think so. Sure, I could have made a pun, done a brief recap as to what the article would entail, or just thrown in a slew of exclamation points. But no... Champions. Ahhh, say it aloud with me. Champions. Rolls off the tongue doesn't it? See, I've always dreamed of winning the championship, and as a writer, subsequently writing the championship winning article. So for me, the victory is twofold. Alas, as a warning to all readers about to embark on this article, a warning that this blog post is going to be so epic that afterward you will have to sit back and light a cigarette.
So let's get to it.
The sun rose as it always did on January 21, 2010. The light peaked over the horizon, producing a dull sheen on the slick roads and frosty lawns in the early winter morning. Across the Northern Virginia region, the Comrades, whether awake and preparing for a day of school or work, or asleep and still nestled in the safety of their blankets, were all dreaming of a championship. It was the one they had been waiting for their whole lives; one that they would have the opportunity to win when that same sun made its arc across the sky and, appropriately, headed back towards Russia.
As the hours slowly bled off the clock, the thoughts racing through the heads of the Soviets must have ranged from anxiety to invincibility. Each hour seemed to bring a new emotion, and constant reassurance was not only helpful in maintaining sanity, it was necessary.
The Cryptic Stench, a very good team in their own right, and the Red Army beat them.
Prestige Worldwide, their biggest rivals, and the Red Army beat them.
The Puck Ewes, the number one seed that mauled the Soviets in the season finale, and the Comrades rebounded and beat them in game one of the championship series.
One more game. One. More. Game.
By the time six o'clock rolled around, it was already dark. A storm was blowing in and a slight reign rain had began. As innocent looking pedestrians piled into a Discovery Channel cab to be quizzed on general knowledge questions along their way, the butterflies arrived in the collective stomachs of the Soviets.
"I was nervous," Ben Breiterman said. "It was a weird feeling and I could feel it from head to toe. Well, not in the stash. The stash never gets flustered. This thing is unwavering in its resolve."
Captain Steve Hand also shared his teammate's feeling of nervousness. "Yeah, I don't think saying that I had butterflies in the stomach does justice to what I was feeling. I had a rhino in there."
The most nervous of all players though, by far, was the leading scorer of the team and league, Mark Hendricks. "I had to fold laundry just to take my mind off of the game," Hendricks said. "I watched Cash Cab but every thing reminded me of the game. Red Light Challenge? Turning on the red light. Ben Bailey? Ben Breiterman. Street shout out? Red Army winning a championship."
An hour before the game, most of the Soviets were at the rink, idly passing the puck around on foot. There were jokes and laughter as guys tried to lighten the mood. But even as more interesting stories about Ryan Odell's girlfriend surfaced, the entire team recognized that there was an elephant in the room, or rather, in the building. In the depths of the Plex, hidden away under shin guards and athletic tape, there was a box full of championship t-shirts waiting for owners. So Mother Russia's boys laced up their skates and taped their sticks all hoping it would be the last time of the season. They had the full intention of wearing those shirts home.
8:07 PM: Face-off.
The puck was dropped, the game started, and the nerves took a backseat to adrenaline. Frantic back and forth action jump started the game into a run and gun style of play that favored the Puck Ewes, yet it was the Comrades who drew first blood.
With Tony Horton setting a screen, Breiterman took a pass from Hand and fired a wrist shot that beat the unsuspecting goalie. The Soviets, like the fans, who came out in record numbers this playoffs, went crazy.
"Huge goal for us," Horton said. "We wanted that first one, and we got it. It was big, real big. Like me."
The period continued with more end to end action, and it was the Puck Ewes who were dictating the play. Slap shots, wrist shots, snap shots, deflections, and backhanders were thrown at Schram. He fought them off, kicked them wide, and did whatever he needed to in order to stop the puck from crossing the goal line. Even a Puck Ewes power play, which saw at least four or five high quality shots get fired on Schram, was unable to capitalize.
"I was seeing the puck and I felt confident," Schram said about his first period. "Guys were blocking shots and clearing people out. True team effort."
The Puck Ewes did manage to get one past Schram in the end of the period when a shot beat him near side. It closed out the period 1-1 and the game became a thirty minute contest.
Period number two was less friendly to the Communists. The penalty kill, which had been operating at 100% in the playoffs, finally yielded one after the Puck Ewes second man advantage of the period, and third of the game. The shot was a backdoor pass that caught Schram moving post to post.
"I didn't think it was a penalty," Brad Lotocki said, who was guilty of two infractions on the evening. "The calls were a bit uneven and I... I just... BEAR CAVALRY!"
Moments after making the score 2-1, it became 3-1. A failed clearing attempt by Hendricks left a Puck Ewe skater alone in the slot and he made the Soviets pay.
In years past, Red Army goalies had been notorious for blowing up after giving up a few goals in short time. The blow ups often would lead to more goals against and sometimes ejections. Schram, though visibly shaken by the two goals allowed, bent but did not break, and in the most trying moments of the season, he bailed the team out.
The Puck Ewes owned the puck the remaining minutes of the middle frame and fired more shots on a Red Army goalie than ever before. A goal allowed here would have all but solidified a third game. But the goal never happened. The buzzer sounded, and the teams went to the benches with the score 3-1.
That's when Hendricks gave his speech.
"I looked around at the guys and I just said, 'Look, we just played two really [bad] periods and it's only a two goal deficit. If we put together one period here where we skate with them, we have the puck, and we get shots, I like our chances. If someone told me two months ago that we'd be here right now, I wouldn't have believed it. But we are, and we got here by doing things as a team, not by one guy getting by four guys. So let's go out there and do it'. I think it worked because they responded cause we were pretty pumped up."
It worked indeed.
On the second shift of the period, after an extensive possession in the Puck Ewes zone that wore out some of their defenders, Pat King retrieved a loose puck and headed back towards the goal. He stick handled by one defender and shot through another one. The goalie reacted late but was able to kick the puck out to his right. King collected his own rebound and fired a beautiful snap shot top shelf that even knocked the towel sitting on the net up in the air. Hendricks, Odell, and Scott Hoefer jumped on the goal scorer.
"It was great," King said. "Biggest goal of the season for me for sure. I knew we had just had the puck for a while and they were a little bit tired, so I attacked. When the goalie kicked the rebound out all I was thinking was where would I go to order the finest Russian Vodka in all of the land, and I quickly reminded myself, top shelf."
With that goal, the fans were back into the game, the doubt was back in the Puck Ewes, and the confident swagger was back with the Soviets. Each shift they had the puck and out skated the Puck Ewes. Two shifts later, with Odell, Hoefer, King, and Hendricks out again, they evened the score.
King tied up his faceoff partner and Hendricks swept in to knock the puck back to Odell. Odell cut across the middle and through the slot while being harassed by defenders. The defenseman was able to keep the puck on his blade and fire a wrist shot that beat the goalie at the far post. The Plex again was rocking.
"It was loud for sure," Odell said. "It was my first goal of the playoffs, and even though I've been playing really well defensively, it was nice to get on the board."
It was more than nice, it was sensational.
With all of the momentum on their side, the Soviets were playing great. Then Lotocki took his second penalty of the game with a slashing penalty with six minutes remaining and the butterflies and rhinos returned.
Odell called a time out and preached defense and a solid penalty kill. Who else lead the PK unit but the serial penalty killer himself Hoefer. The next two minutes saw more shot blocks and clears by Hoefer, Odell, and Breiterman than any other penalty kill all season.
The two minutes were up, Hendricks got the puck as he went on the rink for Breiterman, and raced full steam ahead into the Puck Ewes zone.
Then he lost the puck.
Breakaway the other way.
Goal.
It happened as fast as those simple sentences. The best player on the team made the worst mistake of the season and it lead to the worst result.
He had three minutes to make it up to his Comrades.
On the ensuing shift, Breiterman drew a penalty and the Soviets went to their first man advantage of the game. Odell, King, Hendricks, and Breiterman went out together for what they hoped would be a game tying tally. What they got was almost a game clinching goal against.
An errant pass allowed a Puck Ewe penalty killer to cut down the middle of the rink for a breakaway on Schram. Odell got on his horse and skated down the player the entire length of the rink before superman diving and poke checking the puck right before the shot. The puck deflected into the corner where another Puck Ewe went to collect it, but Odell was there again, and he won the battle. He fired the puck up to Breiterman, and five seconds after a Puck Ewe breakaway, it was a three on one the other way. Breiterman sent a pass to Hendricks and the sniper blasted a one timer short side that knotted the game and sent the fans into an uproar again.
"I had to score on that one," Hendricks said. "I couldn't do anything against these guys and I had so many chances. It won't show up on the score sheet, but that diving poke check was the biggest assist."
The last ninety seconds drained off the clock and the game was going into overtime.
That's right, overtime.
The shifts, unlike the last overtie game, were short. Players were exhausted, it was their fourth playoff game in eight days. Mother Russia was even awarded a power play in the extra frame, but with no legs and not enough left in the tank, they were hardly able to muster anything at all on goal.
More line changes completed and the overtime continued to go on. Both goalies were peppered with shots, but nothing went in.
Then Breiterman changed for a winded Odell.
The Mustache Man took a bouncing pass from Hendricks, settled the puck, drove towards the goal for a backhand, but opted last second to go forehand, and fired a puck that beat the goalie seven hole.
Hoefer raced to Schram, who had already vacated his crease to sprint towards center, and the two leaped into each other's arms, tackling each other in the process.
Hendricks and King threw their sticks and gloves in the air, and jumped on them.
The bench piled over the boards and joined the melee at center. The last player to join the dog pile was the one who created it. Breiterman jumped on the group and celebrated as the Red Army had just won its first ever championship.
"I thought usually the dog pile in overtime centers around the guy who scores the goal, but I guess not," Breiterman said, moments before taking a shot out of a ram's horn and being dog piled on in the kitchen of Hand, Schram, and Horton's apartment.
"I need a chaser," the championship clinching goal scorer added.
Hoefer, brought to tears by the Georgian homemade moonshine championship, still could not believe what had happened.
"I.... I love.... I love everything right now."
Champions.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, feels good doesn't it? I'll end with just one thing. One very last thing to close out this article and season (though many more reflective articles will be written in the coming days).
We won the damn thing.
THREE STARS:
3: Fans
2: Ben Breiterman, Steve Hand, Mark Hendricks, Scott Hoefer, Tony Horton, Pat King, Brad Lotocki, Ryan Odell
1: Andy Schram
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!
So let's get to it.
The sun rose as it always did on January 21, 2010. The light peaked over the horizon, producing a dull sheen on the slick roads and frosty lawns in the early winter morning. Across the Northern Virginia region, the Comrades, whether awake and preparing for a day of school or work, or asleep and still nestled in the safety of their blankets, were all dreaming of a championship. It was the one they had been waiting for their whole lives; one that they would have the opportunity to win when that same sun made its arc across the sky and, appropriately, headed back towards Russia.
As the hours slowly bled off the clock, the thoughts racing through the heads of the Soviets must have ranged from anxiety to invincibility. Each hour seemed to bring a new emotion, and constant reassurance was not only helpful in maintaining sanity, it was necessary.
The Cryptic Stench, a very good team in their own right, and the Red Army beat them.
Prestige Worldwide, their biggest rivals, and the Red Army beat them.
The Puck Ewes, the number one seed that mauled the Soviets in the season finale, and the Comrades rebounded and beat them in game one of the championship series.
One more game. One. More. Game.
By the time six o'clock rolled around, it was already dark. A storm was blowing in and a slight
"I was nervous," Ben Breiterman said. "It was a weird feeling and I could feel it from head to toe. Well, not in the stash. The stash never gets flustered. This thing is unwavering in its resolve."
Captain Steve Hand also shared his teammate's feeling of nervousness. "Yeah, I don't think saying that I had butterflies in the stomach does justice to what I was feeling. I had a rhino in there."
The most nervous of all players though, by far, was the leading scorer of the team and league, Mark Hendricks. "I had to fold laundry just to take my mind off of the game," Hendricks said. "I watched Cash Cab but every thing reminded me of the game. Red Light Challenge? Turning on the red light. Ben Bailey? Ben Breiterman. Street shout out? Red Army winning a championship."
An hour before the game, most of the Soviets were at the rink, idly passing the puck around on foot. There were jokes and laughter as guys tried to lighten the mood. But even as more interesting stories about Ryan Odell's girlfriend surfaced, the entire team recognized that there was an elephant in the room, or rather, in the building. In the depths of the Plex, hidden away under shin guards and athletic tape, there was a box full of championship t-shirts waiting for owners. So Mother Russia's boys laced up their skates and taped their sticks all hoping it would be the last time of the season. They had the full intention of wearing those shirts home.
8:07 PM: Face-off.
The puck was dropped, the game started, and the nerves took a backseat to adrenaline. Frantic back and forth action jump started the game into a run and gun style of play that favored the Puck Ewes, yet it was the Comrades who drew first blood.
With Tony Horton setting a screen, Breiterman took a pass from Hand and fired a wrist shot that beat the unsuspecting goalie. The Soviets, like the fans, who came out in record numbers this playoffs, went crazy.
"Huge goal for us," Horton said. "We wanted that first one, and we got it. It was big, real big. Like me."
The period continued with more end to end action, and it was the Puck Ewes who were dictating the play. Slap shots, wrist shots, snap shots, deflections, and backhanders were thrown at Schram. He fought them off, kicked them wide, and did whatever he needed to in order to stop the puck from crossing the goal line. Even a Puck Ewes power play, which saw at least four or five high quality shots get fired on Schram, was unable to capitalize.
"I was seeing the puck and I felt confident," Schram said about his first period. "Guys were blocking shots and clearing people out. True team effort."
The Puck Ewes did manage to get one past Schram in the end of the period when a shot beat him near side. It closed out the period 1-1 and the game became a thirty minute contest.
Period number two was less friendly to the Communists. The penalty kill, which had been operating at 100% in the playoffs, finally yielded one after the Puck Ewes second man advantage of the period, and third of the game. The shot was a backdoor pass that caught Schram moving post to post.
"I didn't think it was a penalty," Brad Lotocki said, who was guilty of two infractions on the evening. "The calls were a bit uneven and I... I just... BEAR CAVALRY!"
Moments after making the score 2-1, it became 3-1. A failed clearing attempt by Hendricks left a Puck Ewe skater alone in the slot and he made the Soviets pay.
In years past, Red Army goalies had been notorious for blowing up after giving up a few goals in short time. The blow ups often would lead to more goals against and sometimes ejections. Schram, though visibly shaken by the two goals allowed, bent but did not break, and in the most trying moments of the season, he bailed the team out.
The Puck Ewes owned the puck the remaining minutes of the middle frame and fired more shots on a Red Army goalie than ever before. A goal allowed here would have all but solidified a third game. But the goal never happened. The buzzer sounded, and the teams went to the benches with the score 3-1.
That's when Hendricks gave his speech.
"I looked around at the guys and I just said, 'Look, we just played two really [bad] periods and it's only a two goal deficit. If we put together one period here where we skate with them, we have the puck, and we get shots, I like our chances. If someone told me two months ago that we'd be here right now, I wouldn't have believed it. But we are, and we got here by doing things as a team, not by one guy getting by four guys. So let's go out there and do it'. I think it worked because they responded cause we were pretty pumped up."
It worked indeed.
On the second shift of the period, after an extensive possession in the Puck Ewes zone that wore out some of their defenders, Pat King retrieved a loose puck and headed back towards the goal. He stick handled by one defender and shot through another one. The goalie reacted late but was able to kick the puck out to his right. King collected his own rebound and fired a beautiful snap shot top shelf that even knocked the towel sitting on the net up in the air. Hendricks, Odell, and Scott Hoefer jumped on the goal scorer.
"It was great," King said. "Biggest goal of the season for me for sure. I knew we had just had the puck for a while and they were a little bit tired, so I attacked. When the goalie kicked the rebound out all I was thinking was where would I go to order the finest Russian Vodka in all of the land, and I quickly reminded myself, top shelf."
With that goal, the fans were back into the game, the doubt was back in the Puck Ewes, and the confident swagger was back with the Soviets. Each shift they had the puck and out skated the Puck Ewes. Two shifts later, with Odell, Hoefer, King, and Hendricks out again, they evened the score.
King tied up his faceoff partner and Hendricks swept in to knock the puck back to Odell. Odell cut across the middle and through the slot while being harassed by defenders. The defenseman was able to keep the puck on his blade and fire a wrist shot that beat the goalie at the far post. The Plex again was rocking.
"It was loud for sure," Odell said. "It was my first goal of the playoffs, and even though I've been playing really well defensively, it was nice to get on the board."
It was more than nice, it was sensational.
With all of the momentum on their side, the Soviets were playing great. Then Lotocki took his second penalty of the game with a slashing penalty with six minutes remaining and the butterflies and rhinos returned.
Odell called a time out and preached defense and a solid penalty kill. Who else lead the PK unit but the serial penalty killer himself Hoefer. The next two minutes saw more shot blocks and clears by Hoefer, Odell, and Breiterman than any other penalty kill all season.
The two minutes were up, Hendricks got the puck as he went on the rink for Breiterman, and raced full steam ahead into the Puck Ewes zone.
Then he lost the puck.
Breakaway the other way.
Goal.
It happened as fast as those simple sentences. The best player on the team made the worst mistake of the season and it lead to the worst result.
He had three minutes to make it up to his Comrades.
On the ensuing shift, Breiterman drew a penalty and the Soviets went to their first man advantage of the game. Odell, King, Hendricks, and Breiterman went out together for what they hoped would be a game tying tally. What they got was almost a game clinching goal against.
An errant pass allowed a Puck Ewe penalty killer to cut down the middle of the rink for a breakaway on Schram. Odell got on his horse and skated down the player the entire length of the rink before superman diving and poke checking the puck right before the shot. The puck deflected into the corner where another Puck Ewe went to collect it, but Odell was there again, and he won the battle. He fired the puck up to Breiterman, and five seconds after a Puck Ewe breakaway, it was a three on one the other way. Breiterman sent a pass to Hendricks and the sniper blasted a one timer short side that knotted the game and sent the fans into an uproar again.
"I had to score on that one," Hendricks said. "I couldn't do anything against these guys and I had so many chances. It won't show up on the score sheet, but that diving poke check was the biggest assist."
The last ninety seconds drained off the clock and the game was going into overtime.
That's right, overtime.
The shifts, unlike the last overtie game, were short. Players were exhausted, it was their fourth playoff game in eight days. Mother Russia was even awarded a power play in the extra frame, but with no legs and not enough left in the tank, they were hardly able to muster anything at all on goal.
More line changes completed and the overtime continued to go on. Both goalies were peppered with shots, but nothing went in.
Then Breiterman changed for a winded Odell.
The Mustache Man took a bouncing pass from Hendricks, settled the puck, drove towards the goal for a backhand, but opted last second to go forehand, and fired a puck that beat the goalie seven hole.
Hoefer raced to Schram, who had already vacated his crease to sprint towards center, and the two leaped into each other's arms, tackling each other in the process.
Hendricks and King threw their sticks and gloves in the air, and jumped on them.
The bench piled over the boards and joined the melee at center. The last player to join the dog pile was the one who created it. Breiterman jumped on the group and celebrated as the Red Army had just won its first ever championship.
"I thought usually the dog pile in overtime centers around the guy who scores the goal, but I guess not," Breiterman said, moments before taking a shot out of a ram's horn and being dog piled on in the kitchen of Hand, Schram, and Horton's apartment.
"I need a chaser," the championship clinching goal scorer added.
Hoefer, brought to tears by the
"I.... I love.... I love everything right now."
Champions.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, feels good doesn't it? I'll end with just one thing. One very last thing to close out this article and season (though many more reflective articles will be written in the coming days).
We won the damn thing.
THREE STARS:
3: Fans
2: Ben Breiterman, Steve Hand, Mark Hendricks, Scott Hoefer, Tony Horton, Pat King, Brad Lotocki, Ryan Odell
1: Andy Schram
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
It Could Happen Tonight
At the risk of overloading readers in hyperbole, I'll keep this post brief. Sure, I could use grand analogies comparing tonight's game's magnitude to that of the US landing on the moon, but let's face it, space travel doesn't do justice to what the Red Army can accomplish in 20 hours and counting.
Yes folks, with a win tonight the Red Army can do what so many other Red Army teams before it could not: win a championship.
How many Red Army teams? Well, join me for a stroll down memory lane. The elder Hendricks brothers, along side current Comrades Scott Hoefer, Brad Lotocki, and Ben Breiterman played the inaugural season in the summer of 2005. The team did not play again until the following Winter, except because of the number of George Mason University students on the team, the team name was changed to GMU. Two seasons later, one producing a championship, the summer returned and so did the Red Army. The GMU players, having frustrated management with their physical play, untimely penalties, and tendencies to fight, were placed on waivers and a new group of players were brought in.
Which players? Well, the two younger Hendricks brothers made the Hendricks threat a quadruple one, while rookies Steve Hand and Andy Schram joined the force as well. The team was rounded out by some players who only played a season or two (Josh something, Alex Spitzel, Chris Craighill) and others who experienced longer terms skating for Mother Russia (Chris Duhaime, Matt Kraus, Brian Lynch, Jamie Simek, Jerrod Funk). All contributed to many fun seasons, albeit losing ones.
The seasons changed, and the revolving door continued to, well, revolve. Some players left for school, some left for jobs, but there was always another guy waiting in the wings. But the summer always brought back the core.
In fact, the core had grown so big in 2008 that the team had to split into two teams: the Red Army and the Redder Army. Tony Horton made his debut with the Redder Army while Pat King and Ryan Odell skated their first terms with the Red Army.
Neither team won a championship.
They reunited the next season but again, even with the firepower of Zach Wilson, Matt Mcvay, and Mark Hendricks, a championship seemed to elude them.
Fed up with the reoccurring playoff losses, the founders of the team, the elder Hendricks brothers, left with Lotocki and Odell to play at the Box. They played three seasons in Chantilly and even managed to win a championship in the Gold Division. Still, despite the glory, the feeling was bittersweet. The four of them moved back down 28 for another run with the Red Army. The results remained the same: early playoff exits. Was the team cursed?
No, but changes were coming.
Breiterman and Hoefer returned, Schram started playing goalie, Hand, Horton, and King began producing and all of a sudden the wins started rolling, even in the playoffs. In the 2009 Fall Season, the Comrades earned a first round bye for the first time in franchise history, then beat their arch rival the Shockers to advance the furthest they'd ever been before. Of course, the next round they were defeated at the buzzer. But progress was made.
Enter the 2009 (now 2010) Winter Red Army team. A team comprised of all of the same players save for Matt "Short Fuse" Kraus of a season before, yet, on the verge of achieving much greater things.
Yes, 22 Red Army teams have failed to do what this season's Red Army team can do tonight. Hell, just by getting to where they are they've already made this season the most successful in franchise history. Ironically, nay, appropriately, this team is far from the most skilled team the franchise has ever had. It is not the fastest team, it is not the most defensively sound team, and it's certainly not the most physical team, but for some reason, it's the team that knows how to win.
So Comrades, before you lace them up for 45 minutes (and maybe more) tonight, I thought you'd want to know some history.
That is, before you make some.
Yes folks, with a win tonight the Red Army can do what so many other Red Army teams before it could not: win a championship.
How many Red Army teams? Well, join me for a stroll down memory lane. The elder Hendricks brothers, along side current Comrades Scott Hoefer, Brad Lotocki, and Ben Breiterman played the inaugural season in the summer of 2005. The team did not play again until the following Winter, except because of the number of George Mason University students on the team, the team name was changed to GMU. Two seasons later, one producing a championship, the summer returned and so did the Red Army. The GMU players, having frustrated management with their physical play, untimely penalties, and tendencies to fight, were placed on waivers and a new group of players were brought in.
Which players? Well, the two younger Hendricks brothers made the Hendricks threat a quadruple one, while rookies Steve Hand and Andy Schram joined the force as well. The team was rounded out by some players who only played a season or two (Josh something, Alex Spitzel, Chris Craighill) and others who experienced longer terms skating for Mother Russia (Chris Duhaime, Matt Kraus, Brian Lynch, Jamie Simek, Jerrod Funk). All contributed to many fun seasons, albeit losing ones.
The seasons changed, and the revolving door continued to, well, revolve. Some players left for school, some left for jobs, but there was always another guy waiting in the wings. But the summer always brought back the core.
In fact, the core had grown so big in 2008 that the team had to split into two teams: the Red Army and the Redder Army. Tony Horton made his debut with the Redder Army while Pat King and Ryan Odell skated their first terms with the Red Army.
Neither team won a championship.
They reunited the next season but again, even with the firepower of Zach Wilson, Matt Mcvay, and Mark Hendricks, a championship seemed to elude them.
Fed up with the reoccurring playoff losses, the founders of the team, the elder Hendricks brothers, left with Lotocki and Odell to play at the Box. They played three seasons in Chantilly and even managed to win a championship in the Gold Division. Still, despite the glory, the feeling was bittersweet. The four of them moved back down 28 for another run with the Red Army. The results remained the same: early playoff exits. Was the team cursed?
No, but changes were coming.
Breiterman and Hoefer returned, Schram started playing goalie, Hand, Horton, and King began producing and all of a sudden the wins started rolling, even in the playoffs. In the 2009 Fall Season, the Comrades earned a first round bye for the first time in franchise history, then beat their arch rival the Shockers to advance the furthest they'd ever been before. Of course, the next round they were defeated at the buzzer. But progress was made.
Enter the 2009 (now 2010) Winter Red Army team. A team comprised of all of the same players save for Matt "Short Fuse" Kraus of a season before, yet, on the verge of achieving much greater things.
Yes, 22 Red Army teams have failed to do what this season's Red Army team can do tonight. Hell, just by getting to where they are they've already made this season the most successful in franchise history. Ironically, nay, appropriately, this team is far from the most skilled team the franchise has ever had. It is not the fastest team, it is not the most defensively sound team, and it's certainly not the most physical team, but for some reason, it's the team that knows how to win.
So Comrades, before you lace them up for 45 minutes (and maybe more) tonight, I thought you'd want to know some history.
That is, before you make some.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Thanks to Iron Curtain, Soviets One Win from Greatness
In the playoffs, for a team to win the best player on the rink often has to be the goalie. Andy Schram lived up to his nickname, "the Iron Curtain" tonight, and backstopped the Soviets to a thrilling 4-3 victory, giving the Comrades their first ever game where they can win a championship. Yes folks, the shirts will be in the building on Thursday.
"It was a group effort tonight," Schram said. "Everyone stepped up and I really liked the way the offense back checked. The defense were awesome too. Just an awesome, awesome game." Schram then wrung out his shirt, producing fourteen gallons of sweat.
The scoring started early for the Soviets when Pat King fired a wrist shot that beat the Puck Ewes goalie, Andrew Jenkins, short side.
"It felt so good to score," a relieved King told reporters after the game. "I know it wasn't my vintage top-shelf-where-Daddy-hides-Hustler shot, but it was a goal. Right now, a goal is a goal is a goal. And a win is a win is a win. And a ch-ch is a ch-ch is a ch-ch."
The Puck Ewes stormed back to tie after a rare lapse in the Soviet defense allowed an opposing forward to weave into the slot and pierce Schram.
It would be the only time the game was tied.
Mark Hendricks gave Mother Russia's Boys the lead back when he fired another wrist shot, similar to King's, that beat Jenkins seven hole. Hendricks had peeled off after shooting and didn't realize he had scored until he heard the fans watching from upstairs erupt in celebration.
"I thought maybe Pat had jammed home the rebound, because when I shot the puck it looked like Jenkins had a read on it. It's really a testament to the saying in hockey that if you throw the puck on net good things happen."
"Sometimes a pass is good though," King added.
"Good...things...happen." Hendricks said.
The score remained 2-1 until the Soviet power play, which has been lethal in the playoffs, was given two minutes to work their magic. Ben Breiterman only need thirty seconds. Early in the power play, a loose puck was corralled by Breiterman and the Norris trophy candidate sniped a shot top shelf where Buck hides his rifle.
"Steve was setting the screen in front and I don't think (Jenkins) even saw the puck," Breiterman said. "Our line of me, Steve, Tony, and Brad have become the power play unit of the year. It seems it's always our line's turn to go out when we draw a penalty. It's really been working lately. We're one win from the best hooker party Northern Virginia has ever seen."
Despite the first period ending 3-1 in favor of the Red Army, the players were still not happy.
"No lead is safe, especially against these guys," Tony Horton said. "We talked about maintaining the same style of play and continuing to drive to the net."
Brad Lotocki echoed his teammate's sentiments.
"Bear cavalry!" Lotocki said, skinning the hide of a water buffalo.
Unfortunately, Horton and Lotocki's wishes did not happen. The two goal lead was halved when a lost face-off early in the second frame cost the Soviets. The Puck Ewes were able to get off an unmolested slap shot from the point and the puck found its way through a haze of bodies and past Schram.
"Someone has to be at the point on that one, and they capitalized again on a defensive let up. It's frustrating to play these guys because they only need one chance to make you pay," Ryan Odell said. The defenseman than paused, smiled, and continued, "It's also frustrating to play Ryan Odell, because not only can you not get the puck past my shin guards, you also get a complimentary punch to the chest if you try to skate by me. Now if you excuse me, it's hot tub night."
Steve Hand added another set of stripes to his captain uniform when he jammed home a loose puck on the doorstep later in the period. The Red Army is 8-0 when the captain scores a goal, and an even more impressive 9-0 when he registers a point.
"I shouldn't take all the credit on the goal because Tony made a fantastic play to get the puck to the net, but I'm going to anyways. Go me. Boom. I just said that. Print it."
The period would end at the same score, with the Red Army two goals in front of the first place Puck Ewes.
The emotion of the bench?
"Cautiously optimistic," King said. "We were happy with the score and how we were playing, but we had to keep it up... Viagra style."
The Soviets started the period flaccid however, as the Puck Ewes scored the luckiest goal of the game on a puck batted out of midair. After a shot went wide of the cage, it rebounded out in front where Hoefer and Hendricks tried to swat it away, but the puck ramped up a stick and floated in front of Schram and a Puck Ewe forward managed to baseball swing it home.
"They got lucky on that one," Schram said. "But I suppose it's the law of averages. It seems like we were the ones getting all of the breaks with the posts and crazy goals lately. They can get one. Just one though."
The Comrades calmed down as the period progressed, and made the Puck Ewes skate the full length of the rink if they were going to score. Hendricks and King skated a shift where they iced the puck four times.
"Gotta love that no icing rule," Hendricks said, before adding. "And that no offsides rule."
The Soviets experienced a scare late though, when Horton was whistled for tripping. With a little more than ninety seconds remaining, the Puck Ewes called their time out before going to the extra man.
"I wanted to be out there," Scott Hoefer said, who's father and girlfriend were two of the fifteen to twenty fans in the Plex. "There was no way I was letting them get one past us."
The iron will of Hoefer, coupled with the Iron Curtain, staved off the first wave of attacks. Breiterman and Odell took the first shift as well, and were replaced by Lotocki and King after a Hoefer clear. With twenty seconds to go, the puck was dropped in the Soviet zone after a blocked shot had deflected out of play.
The puck was tied up by King and Lotocki was able to jump in and swat it to center. The Puck Ewes tried to muster offense in the dying seconds, but even with Horton in the box and Jenkins on the bench, the two man advantage was thwarted by yet another Hoefer lead penalty kill.
The clock struck zero. The Soviets swarmed Schram and the fans cheered. For the first time in franchise history, the Red Army is within one win of a championship.
No words.
Well, maybe eight.
Hell yeah Comrades, let's do finish the damn thing.
THREE STARS:
3: Steve Hand
2: Ryan Odell
1: Andy Schram
"It was a group effort tonight," Schram said. "Everyone stepped up and I really liked the way the offense back checked. The defense were awesome too. Just an awesome, awesome game." Schram then wrung out his shirt, producing fourteen gallons of sweat.
The scoring started early for the Soviets when Pat King fired a wrist shot that beat the Puck Ewes goalie, Andrew Jenkins, short side.
"It felt so good to score," a relieved King told reporters after the game. "I know it wasn't my vintage top-shelf-where-Daddy-hides-Hustler shot, but it was a goal. Right now, a goal is a goal is a goal. And a win is a win is a win. And a ch-ch is a ch-ch is a ch-ch."
The Puck Ewes stormed back to tie after a rare lapse in the Soviet defense allowed an opposing forward to weave into the slot and pierce Schram.
It would be the only time the game was tied.
Mark Hendricks gave Mother Russia's Boys the lead back when he fired another wrist shot, similar to King's, that beat Jenkins seven hole. Hendricks had peeled off after shooting and didn't realize he had scored until he heard the fans watching from upstairs erupt in celebration.
"I thought maybe Pat had jammed home the rebound, because when I shot the puck it looked like Jenkins had a read on it. It's really a testament to the saying in hockey that if you throw the puck on net good things happen."
"Sometimes a pass is good though," King added.
"Good...things...happen." Hendricks said.
The score remained 2-1 until the Soviet power play, which has been lethal in the playoffs, was given two minutes to work their magic. Ben Breiterman only need thirty seconds. Early in the power play, a loose puck was corralled by Breiterman and the Norris trophy candidate sniped a shot top shelf where Buck hides his rifle.
"Steve was setting the screen in front and I don't think (Jenkins) even saw the puck," Breiterman said. "Our line of me, Steve, Tony, and Brad have become the power play unit of the year. It seems it's always our line's turn to go out when we draw a penalty. It's really been working lately. We're one win from the best hooker party Northern Virginia has ever seen."
Despite the first period ending 3-1 in favor of the Red Army, the players were still not happy.
"No lead is safe, especially against these guys," Tony Horton said. "We talked about maintaining the same style of play and continuing to drive to the net."
Brad Lotocki echoed his teammate's sentiments.
"Bear cavalry!" Lotocki said, skinning the hide of a water buffalo.
Unfortunately, Horton and Lotocki's wishes did not happen. The two goal lead was halved when a lost face-off early in the second frame cost the Soviets. The Puck Ewes were able to get off an unmolested slap shot from the point and the puck found its way through a haze of bodies and past Schram.
"Someone has to be at the point on that one, and they capitalized again on a defensive let up. It's frustrating to play these guys because they only need one chance to make you pay," Ryan Odell said. The defenseman than paused, smiled, and continued, "It's also frustrating to play Ryan Odell, because not only can you not get the puck past my shin guards, you also get a complimentary punch to the chest if you try to skate by me. Now if you excuse me, it's hot tub night."
Steve Hand added another set of stripes to his captain uniform when he jammed home a loose puck on the doorstep later in the period. The Red Army is 8-0 when the captain scores a goal, and an even more impressive 9-0 when he registers a point.
"I shouldn't take all the credit on the goal because Tony made a fantastic play to get the puck to the net, but I'm going to anyways. Go me. Boom. I just said that. Print it."
The period would end at the same score, with the Red Army two goals in front of the first place Puck Ewes.
The emotion of the bench?
"Cautiously optimistic," King said. "We were happy with the score and how we were playing, but we had to keep it up... Viagra style."
The Soviets started the period flaccid however, as the Puck Ewes scored the luckiest goal of the game on a puck batted out of midair. After a shot went wide of the cage, it rebounded out in front where Hoefer and Hendricks tried to swat it away, but the puck ramped up a stick and floated in front of Schram and a Puck Ewe forward managed to baseball swing it home.
"They got lucky on that one," Schram said. "But I suppose it's the law of averages. It seems like we were the ones getting all of the breaks with the posts and crazy goals lately. They can get one. Just one though."
The Comrades calmed down as the period progressed, and made the Puck Ewes skate the full length of the rink if they were going to score. Hendricks and King skated a shift where they iced the puck four times.
"Gotta love that no icing rule," Hendricks said, before adding. "And that no offsides rule."
The Soviets experienced a scare late though, when Horton was whistled for tripping. With a little more than ninety seconds remaining, the Puck Ewes called their time out before going to the extra man.
"I wanted to be out there," Scott Hoefer said, who's father and girlfriend were two of the fifteen to twenty fans in the Plex. "There was no way I was letting them get one past us."
The iron will of Hoefer, coupled with the Iron Curtain, staved off the first wave of attacks. Breiterman and Odell took the first shift as well, and were replaced by Lotocki and King after a Hoefer clear. With twenty seconds to go, the puck was dropped in the Soviet zone after a blocked shot had deflected out of play.
The puck was tied up by King and Lotocki was able to jump in and swat it to center. The Puck Ewes tried to muster offense in the dying seconds, but even with Horton in the box and Jenkins on the bench, the two man advantage was thwarted by yet another Hoefer lead penalty kill.
The clock struck zero. The Soviets swarmed Schram and the fans cheered. For the first time in franchise history, the Red Army is within one win of a championship.
No words.
Well, maybe eight.
Hell yeah Comrades, let's
THREE STARS:
3: Steve Hand
2: Ryan Odell
1: Andy Schram
Monday, January 18, 2010
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES: #1 PUCK EWES VS #4 RED ARMY
Game 1: Tuesday 8:00 pm @ the Plex
Game 2: Thursday 8:00 pm @ the Plex
Game 3 (if necessary): Sunday 8:00 pm @ the Plex
#1 Puck Ewes 12-2-0 24 points
#4 Red Army 10-3-1 21 points
Season Series
1-0 Puck Ewes, 9-5 game.
Other Important Stats
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Puck Ewes 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 3
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Puck Ewes 1
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Puck Ewes 4
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
Goals For: Puck Ewes 103, Red Army 107
Goals Against: Puck Ewes 53, Red Army 70
Goals For Per Game Average: Puck Ewes 7.36, Red Army 7.64
Goals Against Per Game Average: Puck Ewes 3.79, Red Army 5.00
Playoffs
Puck Ewes 2-0 (#8 Shockers, #7 The Jeff Schultz Experience)
Red Army 2-0 (#5 Cryptic Stench, #4 Prestige Worldwide)
Goals Scored in Playoffs
Puck Ewes 13, Red Army 12
Goals Allowed in Playoffs
Puck Ewes 7, Red Army 8
Well, well, well... Game 1 is in 24 hours and I am cautiously optimistic about Mother Russia's chances. For one, the season finale doesn't scare me. There was a clear lack of effort in that game and I think the Soviet team we've seen the past two games is a different, more mature team.
That being said, Puck Ewes speed does scare me. The Red Army must find a way to slow down their skaters and not be tempted into a run and gun game. They will lose that game. At the same time, Hendricks is going to need to produce at a high rate and he does score a bulk of his goals on the rush. Still, the #1 scorer is not going to outscore the entire #1 team. Thus the paradox.
The solution? Exactly what happened in the PW game. Team generated goals. Moving the puck around, getting everyone involved, and skating. Hendricks will create his own opportunities. Tomorrow, everyone forechecks and everyone backchecks.
Oh, and one more thing to note: the power play. It was fantastic yesterday, so it needs to be a factor again. Last time the Puck Ewes faced the Soviets, the Puck Ewes played keep away and killed the penalties. Can't let that happen again. As Lil Jon says, "Ah skate skate skate skate skate skate".
So, with that, I will make my highly anticipated guess for tomorrow's championship series game 1 between the #1 seeded Puck Ewes, and Mother Russia's favorite Comrades, the #4 seeded Red Army.
8-6 Red Army
Game 2: Thursday 8:00 pm @ the Plex
Game 3 (if necessary): Sunday 8:00 pm @ the Plex
#1 Puck Ewes 12-2-0 24 points
#4 Red Army 10-3-1 21 points
Season Series
1-0 Puck Ewes, 9-5 game.
Other Important Stats
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Puck Ewes 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 3
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Puck Ewes 1
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Puck Ewes 4
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Puck Ewes 0
Goals For: Puck Ewes 103, Red Army 107
Goals Against: Puck Ewes 53, Red Army 70
Goals For Per Game Average: Puck Ewes 7.36, Red Army 7.64
Goals Against Per Game Average: Puck Ewes 3.79, Red Army 5.00
Playoffs
Puck Ewes 2-0 (#8 Shockers, #7 The Jeff Schultz Experience)
Red Army 2-0 (#5 Cryptic Stench, #4 Prestige Worldwide)
Goals Scored in Playoffs
Puck Ewes 13, Red Army 12
Goals Allowed in Playoffs
Puck Ewes 7, Red Army 8
Well, well, well... Game 1 is in 24 hours and I am cautiously optimistic about Mother Russia's chances. For one, the season finale doesn't scare me. There was a clear lack of effort in that game and I think the Soviet team we've seen the past two games is a different, more mature team.
That being said, Puck Ewes speed does scare me. The Red Army must find a way to slow down their skaters and not be tempted into a run and gun game. They will lose that game. At the same time, Hendricks is going to need to produce at a high rate and he does score a bulk of his goals on the rush. Still, the #1 scorer is not going to outscore the entire #1 team. Thus the paradox.
The solution? Exactly what happened in the PW game. Team generated goals. Moving the puck around, getting everyone involved, and skating. Hendricks will create his own opportunities. Tomorrow, everyone forechecks and everyone backchecks.
Oh, and one more thing to note: the power play. It was fantastic yesterday, so it needs to be a factor again. Last time the Puck Ewes faced the Soviets, the Puck Ewes played keep away and killed the penalties. Can't let that happen again. As Lil Jon says, "Ah skate skate skate skate skate skate".
So, with that, I will make my highly anticipated guess for tomorrow's championship series game 1 between the #1 seeded Puck Ewes, and Mother Russia's favorite Comrades, the #4 seeded Red Army.
8-6 Red Army
Andy Schram's Nickname
There is going to be a lot of coverage in the coming days, including a series write up, an injury report, and some other assorted muses, but I thought fans would want to know this one as well. Andy Schram has a new nickname.
Ready?
You may want to sit down for this one.
Okay, here it is: the iron curtain.
I'll let you be.
Ready?
You may want to sit down for this one.
Okay, here it is: the iron curtain.
I'll let you be.
Mother Russia Works Overtime, Sees it Payoff in the Playoffs
Ever since the second round was completed and PW and the Soviets were slated to play each other, every hockey fan had 1/17 circled on their calendar. Perhaps the expectations were too high, and some wondered it was even possible for the two teams to come close to playing a game comparable to the slew of thrilling games that they have played recently. It turns out, they had one more in their system. With four minutes remaining in overtime on Sunday night, Tony Horton redirected a harmless looking shot past an unsuspecting Sean Hanley, and vaulted the Red Army to the first ever championship series in franchise history.
"I don't know what so say right now," Horton said. "I'm shocked. I didn't really see where the puck was, but I felt it hit me. Next thing I know, I see the goalie look behind him and Steve has his arms raised. It all happened so quickly. The puck had eyes for sure, and we could try that deflection 100 times and not get it once. Perhaps, and this is only my theory, but there may have been a second shooter. I'll have to wait and see how many programs the History Channel can crank out about tonight's deflection to get to the bottom of this case."
"I got to the bottom of this case," Pat King said, lifting the empty Natural Light box above his head. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!"
Ten minutes into the game, it seemed like Mother Russia was going to run away with the game. Mark Hendricks took a cross crease pass from Brad Lotocki and stuffed home the opening tally. Moments later, Hendricks intercepted an attempted rink wide feed from a PW skater, and skated in alone on a breakaway before potting a backhander under the sprawling Hanley.
"I remembered last playoffs when they really did shut me down," Hendricks said, making his second omelet of the evening as he was convinced he could beat Pat in the first annual omelet cook off. "I knew I wasn't going to get a lot of open space, so when I get chances I needed to convert. Hey man, look at that flip! Look at that flip! That is perfect technique, none of that two spatula mumbo jumbo you used on yours. What's that? Runny? Oh come on man you wouldn't know a good omelet if it hit you in the face, and that's what is about to happen if you don't shut up. But yeah, I'd say I get three or four breakaways a game against other teams, but against PW I'm lucky to get one. Tonight I got one, and I scored. I had to. They just don't give you many chances, kind of like a girl who gets mad at you when you make one joke about her mom being fat. Why won't she give you another chance? It's Martin Luther King day for heaven's sakes!"
Before long however, the tides would turn. The Prestigious Ones beat Andy Schram five hole to make the score 2-1, then tied it with a blast from the point, then took the lead on a shot from in tight that snuck upstairs on Schram.
The first period ended, and the pregame nerves that had vanquished with the 2-0 lead had returned.
"A problem our team has is that can get down on ourselves when we give up goals. We know we give up goals in bunches, but we can also score them in bunches. That first intermission it was pretty quiet on the bench," Captain Steve Hand said. "I try to keep the mood light and not let the guys know I'm nervous too, I'm pretty sure, to quote Laura Jeanne
, that the game was giving me heart palpitations."
After a lengthy shift in the offensive zone to start the period, Hendricks made it a productive one despite not denting the twine. The forward drew a penalty as he was taken down at the tops of the circles. The Soviets changed lines, and the power play went to work. After a few missed opportunities, Ben Breiterman got the puck in the slot and fired a shot that nicked the post on its way in.
"I wanted to keep my post hitting streak alive," Mario Breiterman said after the game. "Seriously though, it was a big goal. So big, it kind of makes you want to do a shot out of a horn fashioned from the head of a ram. Ch-ch-ch-ch!"
After Hendricks drew another penalty, the Soviets went to the power play again. It didn't take long. Scott Hoefer, who finished with a game high 14 blocked shots, kept the puck in the zone and passed to Ryan Odell. Odell zipped a crisp seam pass to Hendricks and the leading scorer proved why he is such. Hendricks' one time blast beat Hanley short side, and the Comrades had the lead back.
Schram would steer away all shots he faced the remainder of the period, and the game entered the third period with the Soviets fifteen minutes away from boarding the ship.
"We kept things positive," Odell said. "We knew it was going to be a long period, and a few more goals would really help, but going into the period defense was the name of the game. Well, hockey is the name of the game, but its alias was defense. Whatever happened to Jennifer Garner?"
The game was tied fifteen seconds into period. Hendricks, taking an ill advised water break at the water fountain, heard the Tuxedo Wearing Skaters celebrate.
"I heard sticks banging against the boards and yelling. I knew it wasn't good. That water though, that water was so good," Hendricks said.
Lotocki chipped in with his first of the playoffs and gave the Comrades another lead when he snuck in on a mini breakaway and potted one five hole.
"Bear cavalry! Playoff edition!" Lotocki said, fashioning a horn out of the head of a ram he had slayed.
The captain also got in the action, scoring the biggest goal of his career when he jammed home a rebound on the door step to make the score 6-4 with seven minutes remaining.
"I saw the puck at my feet, and I took a page out of Joaquin Phoenix's character in Signs and decided to swing away. Weird analogy? Why can't Signs be an acceptable movie to quote? Would you like it better if I compared my goals to Vin Diesel films? I call them films because anything triple X is in is art."
PW called time out. They organized, talked, and made plans. The Red Army tried to organize, but it was clear the excitement was getting to them.
"We definitely were a little giddy on the bench," King said. "We were trying to focus and talk strategy, but our eyes were glazed over with what we thought we had already won."
They hadn't. Yet.
PW, in true PW style, scored two goals on two shots in what seemed like two seconds. The proverbial ship that so many Soviets had dreamed of boarding seemed to be leaving them at the dock.
The final nervous seconds ticked off the clock, and, surprise surprise, these two teams needed overtime.
"I know I'm a guy a lot of players look to for advice about hockey and I'm some what of a coach," Hendricks said, removing the usual comedic aspect of his being for a moment to talk serious sticks and pucks. "And as I skated to the bench right before the start of overtime, I noticed some of the guys with their heads low and they looked demoralized. Sure, we had just blown a two goal lead late in the game, but hell, we were in overtime. Anything can happen. I just banged my stick on the rink a few times and told the guys 'Look, any shot is a good shot. One goal and its over. Let's get that goal.' That isn't to say I wasn't nervous though. My inline pants were soaked in urine."
Well, he was mostly serious in that quote. Mostly.
Hendricks set a world record in overtime for the longest shift. He skated the first three minutes, then when a penalty was called on Ben Breiterman, he decided to stay our to kill it off. After a minute of frantic diving and shot blocking, mostly done by the man himself Scott Hoefer, Hendricks drew a penalty. With three on three action, #18 kept himself in the game and skated out there with Lotocki and Odell, who were both skating their second shifts of the extra frame. Once Breiterman rejoined them, and more line changes were made, Hendricks remained out there unable to end the game. Four goalless minutes later, he skated to the bench, resembling Ghandi, and told Hand who was replacing him to "keep the shifts short."
PW had the better of opportunities in the overtime, as two of their forwards hit the crossbar. But, it was iron will of Schram that kept the Soviets in the game. Schram would not yield, and though his fatigue was evident, he swam around in his crease like a man possessed.
"I was exhausted," Schram said. "They were throwing everything at me. Our defense was all over the shot blocking, especially Scott, and what got by them, didn't get by me."
After the puck was deflected out of play, the Soviets changed lines again. King and Hendricks took a seat on the bench and they were replaced by Hand and Horton.
"I saw them coming on," King said. "I grabbed Tony and I just said, 'end it'. It was one of those things you see in the movies."
"Vin Diesel movies," Hand added, flipping through the original script of the Pacifier.
Horton, like any good German boy, carried out the orders his fellow Comrade had delivered to him. After a shot deflected off the skates of Hand, the puck ramped up and hit the Big Rig in the calf and snuck across the goal line.
They had just scored the biggest goal in franchise history... and they didn't know what to do.
Horton raised his hands and was mauled by every red jersey wearing player on the rink. King and Hendricks nearly killed each other trying to both squeeze out the bench doors at the same time to get into the dog pile. Hoefer had jumped into the arms of Schram and was forming his own rival dog pile.
The two teams lined up and shook hands. There was no malcontent, no ill feelings towards each other, just a mutual respect shared by two titans who had just battled it out and added another chapter to a rivalry that seems to get better with each game.
So... There were highs to this game. There were lows to this game. In the emotional roller coaster that was some fifty five plus minutes of hockey last night, both teams more than exceeded expectations of the highly anticipated third round match-up. At the end of it all, it was the Soviets who fortune favored most. So enjoy the win Comrades, but don't enjoy it too much, you play again tomorrow.
THREE STARS:
3: Mark Hendricks
2: Scott Hoefer
1: Tony Horton
UPDATE: Scott Hoefer was unable to comment about last night's game because he is overcome with his emotions towards winning.
"I don't know what so say right now," Horton said. "I'm shocked. I didn't really see where the puck was, but I felt it hit me. Next thing I know, I see the goalie look behind him and Steve has his arms raised. It all happened so quickly. The puck had eyes for sure, and we could try that deflection 100 times and not get it once. Perhaps, and this is only my theory, but there may have been a second shooter. I'll have to wait and see how many programs the History Channel can crank out about tonight's deflection to get to the bottom of this case."
"I got to the bottom of this case," Pat King said, lifting the empty Natural Light box above his head. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!"
Ten minutes into the game, it seemed like Mother Russia was going to run away with the game. Mark Hendricks took a cross crease pass from Brad Lotocki and stuffed home the opening tally. Moments later, Hendricks intercepted an attempted rink wide feed from a PW skater, and skated in alone on a breakaway before potting a backhander under the sprawling Hanley.
"I remembered last playoffs when they really did shut me down," Hendricks said, making his second omelet of the evening as he was convinced he could beat Pat in the first annual omelet cook off. "I knew I wasn't going to get a lot of open space, so when I get chances I needed to convert. Hey man, look at that flip! Look at that flip! That is perfect technique, none of that two spatula mumbo jumbo you used on yours. What's that? Runny? Oh come on man you wouldn't know a good omelet if it hit you in the face, and that's what is about to happen if you don't shut up. But yeah, I'd say I get three or four breakaways a game against other teams, but against PW I'm lucky to get one. Tonight I got one, and I scored. I had to. They just don't give you many chances, kind of like a girl who gets mad at you when you make one joke about her mom being fat. Why won't she give you another chance? It's Martin Luther King day for heaven's sakes!"
Before long however, the tides would turn. The Prestigious Ones beat Andy Schram five hole to make the score 2-1, then tied it with a blast from the point, then took the lead on a shot from in tight that snuck upstairs on Schram.
The first period ended, and the pregame nerves that had vanquished with the 2-0 lead had returned.
"A problem our team has is that can get down on ourselves when we give up goals. We know we give up goals in bunches, but we can also score them in bunches. That first intermission it was pretty quiet on the bench," Captain Steve Hand said. "I try to keep the mood light and not let the guys know I'm nervous too, I'm pretty sure, to quote Laura Jeanne
, that the game was giving me heart palpitations."After a lengthy shift in the offensive zone to start the period, Hendricks made it a productive one despite not denting the twine. The forward drew a penalty as he was taken down at the tops of the circles. The Soviets changed lines, and the power play went to work. After a few missed opportunities, Ben Breiterman got the puck in the slot and fired a shot that nicked the post on its way in.
"I wanted to keep my post hitting streak alive,"
After Hendricks drew another penalty, the Soviets went to the power play again. It didn't take long. Scott Hoefer, who finished with a game high 14 blocked shots, kept the puck in the zone and passed to Ryan Odell. Odell zipped a crisp seam pass to Hendricks and the leading scorer proved why he is such. Hendricks' one time blast beat Hanley short side, and the Comrades had the lead back.
Schram would steer away all shots he faced the remainder of the period, and the game entered the third period with the Soviets fifteen minutes away from boarding the ship.
"We kept things positive," Odell said. "We knew it was going to be a long period, and a few more goals would really help, but going into the period defense was the name of the game. Well, hockey is the name of the game, but its alias was defense. Whatever happened to Jennifer Garner?"
The game was tied fifteen seconds into period. Hendricks, taking an ill advised water break at the water fountain, heard the Tuxedo Wearing Skaters celebrate.
"I heard sticks banging against the boards and yelling. I knew it wasn't good. That water though, that water was so good," Hendricks said.
Lotocki chipped in with his first of the playoffs and gave the Comrades another lead when he snuck in on a mini breakaway and potted one five hole.
"Bear cavalry! Playoff edition!" Lotocki said, fashioning a horn out of the head of a ram he had slayed.
The captain also got in the action, scoring the biggest goal of his career when he jammed home a rebound on the door step to make the score 6-4 with seven minutes remaining.
"I saw the puck at my feet, and I took a page out of Joaquin Phoenix's character in Signs and decided to swing away. Weird analogy? Why can't Signs be an acceptable movie to quote? Would you like it better if I compared my goals to Vin Diesel films? I call them films because anything triple X is in is art."
PW called time out. They organized, talked, and made plans. The Red Army tried to organize, but it was clear the excitement was getting to them.
"We definitely were a little giddy on the bench," King said. "We were trying to focus and talk strategy, but our eyes were glazed over with what we thought we had already won."
They hadn't. Yet.
PW, in true PW style, scored two goals on two shots in what seemed like two seconds. The proverbial ship that so many Soviets had dreamed of boarding seemed to be leaving them at the dock.
The final nervous seconds ticked off the clock, and, surprise surprise, these two teams needed overtime.
"I know I'm a guy a lot of players look to for advice about hockey and I'm some what of a coach," Hendricks said, removing the usual comedic aspect of his being for a moment to talk serious sticks and pucks. "And as I skated to the bench right before the start of overtime, I noticed some of the guys with their heads low and they looked demoralized. Sure, we had just blown a two goal lead late in the game, but hell, we were in overtime. Anything can happen. I just banged my stick on the rink a few times and told the guys 'Look, any shot is a good shot. One goal and its over. Let's get that goal.' That isn't to say I wasn't nervous though. My inline pants were soaked in urine."
Well, he was mostly serious in that quote. Mostly.
Hendricks set a world record in overtime for the longest shift. He skated the first three minutes, then when a penalty was called on Ben Breiterman, he decided to stay our to kill it off. After a minute of frantic diving and shot blocking, mostly done by the man himself Scott Hoefer, Hendricks drew a penalty. With three on three action, #18 kept himself in the game and skated out there with Lotocki and Odell, who were both skating their second shifts of the extra frame. Once Breiterman rejoined them, and more line changes were made, Hendricks remained out there unable to end the game. Four goalless minutes later, he skated to the bench, resembling Ghandi, and told Hand who was replacing him to "keep the shifts short."
PW had the better of opportunities in the overtime, as two of their forwards hit the crossbar. But, it was iron will of Schram that kept the Soviets in the game. Schram would not yield, and though his fatigue was evident, he swam around in his crease like a man possessed.
"I was exhausted," Schram said. "They were throwing everything at me. Our defense was all over the shot blocking, especially Scott, and what got by them, didn't get by me."
After the puck was deflected out of play, the Soviets changed lines again. King and Hendricks took a seat on the bench and they were replaced by Hand and Horton.
"I saw them coming on," King said. "I grabbed Tony and I just said, 'end it'. It was one of those things you see in the movies."
"Vin Diesel movies," Hand added, flipping through the original script of the Pacifier.
Horton, like any good German boy, carried out the orders his fellow Comrade had delivered to him. After a shot deflected off the skates of Hand, the puck ramped up and hit the Big Rig in the calf and snuck across the goal line.
They had just scored the biggest goal in franchise history... and they didn't know what to do.
Horton raised his hands and was mauled by every red jersey wearing player on the rink. King and Hendricks nearly killed each other trying to both squeeze out the bench doors at the same time to get into the dog pile. Hoefer had jumped into the arms of Schram and was forming his own rival dog pile.
The two teams lined up and shook hands. There was no malcontent, no ill feelings towards each other, just a mutual respect shared by two titans who had just battled it out and added another chapter to a rivalry that seems to get better with each game.
So... There were highs to this game. There were lows to this game. In the emotional roller coaster that was some fifty five plus minutes of hockey last night, both teams more than exceeded expectations of the highly anticipated third round match-up. At the end of it all, it was the Soviets who fortune favored most. So enjoy the win Comrades, but don't enjoy it too much, you play again tomorrow.
THREE STARS:
3: Mark Hendricks
2: Scott Hoefer
1: Tony Horton
UPDATE: Scott Hoefer was unable to comment about last night's game because he is overcome with his emotions towards winning.
Two More Perish, Two Left Standing
Folks, we have our championship series set. But, before we got to that, let us take a moment and reflect on the two teams that went the way of the dinosaurs tonight.
-The Jeff Schultz Experience
-Prestige Worldwide
Let these two teams never run out of tape at the rink in the sky.
For now, the championship series is this:
#1 Puck Ewes vs #4 Red Army
The heavily favored Puck Ewes dominated Mother Russia in the season finale, but since the start of the playoffs Mother Russia's favorite Boys seem to be an entirely different animal. So, is the #1 team the #1 team? Or is the underdog Red Army squad about to prove that not only do they belong, they deserve.
-The Jeff Schultz Experience
-Prestige Worldwide
Let these two teams never run out of tape at the rink in the sky.
For now, the championship series is this:
#1 Puck Ewes vs #4 Red Army
The heavily favored Puck Ewes dominated Mother Russia in the season finale, but since the start of the playoffs Mother Russia's favorite Boys seem to be an entirely different animal. So, is the #1 team the #1 team? Or is the underdog Red Army squad about to prove that not only do they belong, they deserve.
WE'RE IN THE SHIP MOTHER FUCKERS
More to come. I'm celebrating with the team in true Soviet fashion. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
ROUND 3: #6 PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE vs #4 RED ARMY
Sunday 8:00pm @ the Plex
#4 Red Army 10-3-1 21 points
#6 Prestige Worldwide 9-5-0 18 points
Season Series: 1-1
8-7 (OT) Prestige Worldwide
4-3 Red Army
OTHER IMPORTANT STATS:
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Prestige Worldwide 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 1
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 0
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 1
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Prestige Worldwide 3
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Prestige Worldwide 2
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 3
Goals For: Red Army 107, Prestige Worldwide 113
Goals Against: Red Army 70, Prestige Worldwide 63
Goals For Per Game Average: Red Army 7.64, Prestige Worldwide 8.07
Goals Against Per Game Average: Red Army 5.00, Prestige Worldwide 4.5
Ah, who didn't see this one coming? With this match-up there is always a lot to cover, so let's delve into the stats and see if there is anything telling.
It looks like PW has the edge offensively. PW has two big guns, while the Soviets have one. It looks like PW's secondary scorers produce more than the Soviets' secondary scorers. They also have two more players according to these statistics, and that's just not fair.
Defensively it's harder to break down, but again, I'd give the edge to the Prestigious Ones. They give up fewer goals. When you are difficult to score on, not only can you be a frustrating prom date but you can be a difficult opponent in the playoffs as well.
But enough about depressing statistics, let's talk x-factors... and there are three of them.
1: Adjustments. These teams know each other pretty well and tend to be involved in seesaw affairs (note: seesaw affairs would be a great band name). When one team gets hot and scores a few unanswered goals the other team mixes it up. Whichever team can recognize what is working and what isn't earliest, before giving up a slew of goals, will be victorious.
2: Goaltending. Always important in the playoffs. With PW's goalie, the Comrades know it is a tough task to beat him. They have their work cut out for them. With Mother Russia's Favorite Son Andy Schram, it's a mystery. The two last games he's played have covered both ends of the spectrum. His performance on Thursday was instrumental in the Red Army's post season advancement, now can he play an encore?
3: Down to one Hendricks. With the twins back at Blacksburg, the Soviets are down to their last son of Laura Jeanne and Peter Sr. It's no secret that PW is going to do everything in their power to make sure #18 doesn't get many opportunities. At the same time, #18 is going to do everything in his power to make sure he does get many opportunities. Thus the x-factor.
So, what you got? Is this a repeat of last season's playoffs, where the boys clad in red again fall short to the one's who's prestige encompasses the globe? Or is there an alternate ending up the sleeves of the Soviets and they can take the franchise to a new height and play in their first ever championship series?
My prediction: 6-3 Red Army
Let's do the damn thing, Comrades.
#4 Red Army 10-3-1 21 points
#6 Prestige Worldwide 9-5-0 18 points
Season Series: 1-1
8-7 (OT) Prestige Worldwide
4-3 Red Army
OTHER IMPORTANT STATS:
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Prestige Worldwide 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 1
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 0
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 1
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Prestige Worldwide 3
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Prestige Worldwide 2
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Prestige Worldwide 3
Goals For: Red Army 107, Prestige Worldwide 113
Goals Against: Red Army 70, Prestige Worldwide 63
Goals For Per Game Average: Red Army 7.64, Prestige Worldwide 8.07
Goals Against Per Game Average: Red Army 5.00, Prestige Worldwide 4.5
Ah, who didn't see this one coming? With this match-up there is always a lot to cover, so let's delve into the stats and see if there is anything telling.
It looks like PW has the edge offensively. PW has two big guns, while the Soviets have one. It looks like PW's secondary scorers produce more than the Soviets' secondary scorers. They also have two more players according to these statistics, and that's just not fair.
Defensively it's harder to break down, but again, I'd give the edge to the Prestigious Ones. They give up fewer goals. When you are difficult to score on, not only can you be a frustrating prom date but you can be a difficult opponent in the playoffs as well.
But enough about depressing statistics, let's talk x-factors... and there are three of them.
1: Adjustments. These teams know each other pretty well and tend to be involved in seesaw affairs (note: seesaw affairs would be a great band name). When one team gets hot and scores a few unanswered goals the other team mixes it up. Whichever team can recognize what is working and what isn't earliest, before giving up a slew of goals, will be victorious.
2: Goaltending. Always important in the playoffs. With PW's goalie, the Comrades know it is a tough task to beat him. They have their work cut out for them. With Mother Russia's Favorite Son Andy Schram, it's a mystery. The two last games he's played have covered both ends of the spectrum. His performance on Thursday was instrumental in the Red Army's post season advancement, now can he play an encore?
3: Down to one Hendricks. With the twins back at Blacksburg, the Soviets are down to their last son of Laura Jeanne and Peter Sr. It's no secret that PW is going to do everything in their power to make sure #18 doesn't get many opportunities. At the same time, #18 is going to do everything in his power to make sure he does get many opportunities. Thus the x-factor.
So, what you got? Is this a repeat of last season's playoffs, where the boys clad in red again fall short to the one's who's prestige encompasses the globe? Or is there an alternate ending up the sleeves of the Soviets and they can take the franchise to a new height and play in their first ever championship series?
My prediction: 6-3 Red Army
Let's do the damn thing, Comrades.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Death Toll Rises to Eight, Four Remain
Four more teams joined their departed division rivals at the rink in the sky last night. Some were aware of their impending dooms, others thought they could have averted disaster, and some were blindsided. Here is a list of the departed:
-Shockers
-Grenades
-Strangers
-Cryptic Stench
What stands out? How about the #2 and #3 seeds, Strangers and Grenades? The Grenades were diffused by a very formidable opponent in Prestige Worldwide, while the Strangers were introduced to defeat by Jeff Schultz and the Experience he provides. Here is a list of the four remaining teams.
#1: Puck Ewes
#4: Red Army
#6: Prestige Worldwide
#7: The Jeff Schultz Experience
If I'm the Puck Ewes I'm salivating at what seems, at least according to the seeds, to be an easy road to the championship.
If I'm the Red Army I'm excited to play PW again, but are fully conscious of last season's 3rd round heart break.
If I'm Prestigeous I'm excited to play the Red Army again, and am fully conscious of what happened in last season's 3rd round.
If I'm the Jeff Schultz Experience I'm ignoring the seeds because they don't look friendly.
#1 Puck Ewes vs #8 The Jeff Schultz Experience 7:00pm Sunday
#4 Red Army vs #6 Prestige Worldwide 8:00 pm Sunday
-Shockers
-Grenades
-Strangers
-Cryptic Stench
What stands out? How about the #2 and #3 seeds, Strangers and Grenades? The Grenades were diffused by a very formidable opponent in Prestige Worldwide, while the Strangers were introduced to defeat by Jeff Schultz and the Experience he provides. Here is a list of the four remaining teams.
#1: Puck Ewes
#4: Red Army
#6: Prestige Worldwide
#7: The Jeff Schultz Experience
If I'm the Puck Ewes I'm salivating at what seems, at least according to the seeds, to be an easy road to the championship.
If I'm the Red Army I'm excited to play PW again, but are fully conscious of last season's 3rd round heart break.
If I'm Prestigeous I'm excited to play the Red Army again, and am fully conscious of what happened in last season's 3rd round.
If I'm the Jeff Schultz Experience I'm ignoring the seeds because they don't look friendly.
#1 Puck Ewes vs #8 The Jeff Schultz Experience 7:00pm Sunday
#4 Red Army vs #6 Prestige Worldwide 8:00 pm Sunday
Cryptic Stench Ousted in Playoffs by Mother Russia
There are times when rookie netminder Andy Schram looks shaky. Times when his nerves, inexperience, and tentativeness show and he frustrates fans and players alike by allowing soft goals. Then there are times like tonight when he absolutely shuts the door against a team that threw plenty of rubber his way. Make no mistake about it folks, Andy Schram played the best game of his career tonight and is the primary reason there is at least 45 minutes of hockey left in the Red Army season.
"I was feeling good in warm-ups," Schram said after the game. "I think when I make a few saves and get the feeling of the puck on my pads I feel more into the game. I got lucky a few times when they hit the post, but for the most part I think I was playing the angles well and everything I saw I was stopping."
Stopping and more.
Schram kept rebounds in front of him and seldom looked out of position. The confidence he was showing on the rink was contagious, and players on the bench fed off of it.
"We knew he was on his game," Ryan Odell said. "He was playing great, so we needed to play great too. I think everybody played really well tonight and it was a fantastic team outing. If only Steve would stop crashing into me out there we could have really run away with this thing."
"So we got our signals crossed once," Captain Steve Hand said. "B.F.D. It's not like he was going to have a breakaway or anything. Wait, he was? Well it's not nice to run up the score. As team captain it is my responsibility to take those sorts of things into account at all times."
Captain Hand, despite a few run ins with Odell, played a strong game. On the second goal of the game he set a nice screen that enabled Mark Hendricks' one timer to evade the goalie.
Hendricks enjoyed himself another multi-point game with a goal and a helper, but it was his younger brother Neal that stole the show offensively. The youngest of the Hendricks brothers scored two goals early on to vault the Comrades to a commanding 3-0 lead after the first period.
The first tally required soft hands. A pass from Mark ramped up a stick and fluttered in the air in the crease. Neal slapped the levitating biscuit past the goalie and opened the scoring. After Mark's one timer made it 2-0, Neal closed the frame in style. With fifteen seconds to play before the first intermission, Neal corralled the puck in his own zone and raced ahead through center. He was taking it one on three, but that didn't seem to faze the aspiring Finn. Neal deked right, then left, then right again and fired a low, hard wrister that beat the goalie.
"I didn't have any option but to shoot," Neal said. "So I took a page out of Gary Larson's book at shot it far side."
"Heyoooooo!" Mark said, enjoying the joke that he wrote and Neal supposedly said.
Things got dicey in the middle stanza when the Soviets got into penalty trouble. Beege took a tripping penalty which sent the Stench to the power play. They struck, and as they did, Scott Hoefer had taken another penalty.
"I didn't feel good after they scored," Beege said. "But I think I got back at them when I accidentally wrecked their guy in front of Andy. High five!" The defenseman then high-fived himself.
During the second power play, it was the Soviets who had more opportunities. Mark Hendricks intercepted a pass and was off to the races, but the sniper was bumped at center and then finished by two Stench skaters in the corner. Hendricks, upset with the non calls, voiced his complaints to the referees but it was to no avail. A shift later, when things were back to four on four action, the Stench scored again and Hendricks was still stewing.
"That's a bunch of (balogna)! That was a (really big) disgrace! How the (heck) do you not make either of those calls?!? Just horse (defecation) is what that is. Total horse (defecation)," Hendricks said.
Ben Breiterman got the Comrades on the right track again when he answered with a quick goal of his own.
"Gentlemen," Breiterman said. "That is the power of the stash".
As a beat reporter I say with zero bias that the mustache #29 is donning is angelic. Heavenly, really.
The period would end with the Soviets ahead 4-2. Would the period that had treated the Soviets so well all year show similar fate or would things turn sour like so many third periods in playoffs past have? Pat King was quick to point out the importance of not letting up.
"Never take your foot off a snake and never take your hands off a whore," the centerman said.
Things remained back and forth for the bulk of the period with both goalies steering away chances. Tony Horton made the hill much steeper to climb for the Stench when he fired home a pass from Breiterman top shelf where Daddy hides the tickets to round three.
"It was a perfect pass and I Thomas Fleischmanned that ho," the German born winger said.
"Don't ever let go of that ho," King echoed.
The way Schram was playing, a three goal lead with any amount of time left on the clock would be too much for any team to over come. The Stench skated their final five minutes unable to mount much offensively, and as the buzzer sounded, they put away their hockey gear and brought out the golfing equipment.
Mother Russia kept on dancing.
"I know recently I said that I love winning and that I could not be any more for it. But again ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered another layer in my heart capable of loving greater than I had ever known possible. I love winning.... ready, get ready for it... I love winning in the playoffs," Scott Hoefer said, tearing up as he made fun of Neal for not knowing what the word "proactive" meant.
That's it from here tonight. Other things I didn't get to in the article:
-Beege played solid on the defensive side of things.
-We're going to miss Neal's offense in round 3 for sure.
-Hand's net presence was fantastic tonight.
-King was deking the best he has all season.
-Odell was a beast out there, and stepped in with timely faceoff wins too.
-Breiterman blocked a ton of shots in the first. A goal and two assists don't hurt either.
-Hoefer played exceptionally well, and I look forward to seeing Donald on Sunday.
-Horton's ability to roof job that in tight was orgasmic.
-Schram... not enough words.
THREE STARS:
3-Ben Breiterman
2-Neal Hendricks
1-Andy Schram
"I was feeling good in warm-ups," Schram said after the game. "I think when I make a few saves and get the feeling of the puck on my pads I feel more into the game. I got lucky a few times when they hit the post, but for the most part I think I was playing the angles well and everything I saw I was stopping."
Stopping and more.
Schram kept rebounds in front of him and seldom looked out of position. The confidence he was showing on the rink was contagious, and players on the bench fed off of it.
"We knew he was on his game," Ryan Odell said. "He was playing great, so we needed to play great too. I think everybody played really well tonight and it was a fantastic team outing. If only Steve would stop crashing into me out there we could have really run away with this thing."
"So we got our signals crossed once," Captain Steve Hand said. "B.F.D. It's not like he was going to have a breakaway or anything. Wait, he was? Well it's not nice to run up the score. As team captain it is my responsibility to take those sorts of things into account at all times."
Captain Hand, despite a few run ins with Odell, played a strong game. On the second goal of the game he set a nice screen that enabled Mark Hendricks' one timer to evade the goalie.
Hendricks enjoyed himself another multi-point game with a goal and a helper, but it was his younger brother Neal that stole the show offensively. The youngest of the Hendricks brothers scored two goals early on to vault the Comrades to a commanding 3-0 lead after the first period.
The first tally required soft hands. A pass from Mark ramped up a stick and fluttered in the air in the crease. Neal slapped the levitating biscuit past the goalie and opened the scoring. After Mark's one timer made it 2-0, Neal closed the frame in style. With fifteen seconds to play before the first intermission, Neal corralled the puck in his own zone and raced ahead through center. He was taking it one on three, but that didn't seem to faze the aspiring Finn. Neal deked right, then left, then right again and fired a low, hard wrister that beat the goalie.
"I didn't have any option but to shoot," Neal said. "So I took a page out of Gary Larson's book at shot it far side."
"Heyoooooo!" Mark said, enjoying the joke that he wrote and Neal supposedly said.
Things got dicey in the middle stanza when the Soviets got into penalty trouble. Beege took a tripping penalty which sent the Stench to the power play. They struck, and as they did, Scott Hoefer had taken another penalty.
"I didn't feel good after they scored," Beege said. "But I think I got back at them when I accidentally wrecked their guy in front of Andy. High five!" The defenseman then high-fived himself.
During the second power play, it was the Soviets who had more opportunities. Mark Hendricks intercepted a pass and was off to the races, but the sniper was bumped at center and then finished by two Stench skaters in the corner. Hendricks, upset with the non calls, voiced his complaints to the referees but it was to no avail. A shift later, when things were back to four on four action, the Stench scored again and Hendricks was still stewing.
"That's a bunch of (balogna)! That was a (really big) disgrace! How the (heck) do you not make either of those calls?!? Just horse (defecation) is what that is. Total horse (defecation)," Hendricks said.
Ben Breiterman got the Comrades on the right track again when he answered with a quick goal of his own.
"Gentlemen," Breiterman said. "That is the power of the stash".
As a beat reporter I say with zero bias that the mustache #29 is donning is angelic. Heavenly, really.
The period would end with the Soviets ahead 4-2. Would the period that had treated the Soviets so well all year show similar fate or would things turn sour like so many third periods in playoffs past have? Pat King was quick to point out the importance of not letting up.
"Never take your foot off a snake and never take your hands off a whore," the centerman said.
Things remained back and forth for the bulk of the period with both goalies steering away chances. Tony Horton made the hill much steeper to climb for the Stench when he fired home a pass from Breiterman top shelf where Daddy hides the tickets to round three.
"It was a perfect pass and I Thomas Fleischmanned that ho," the German born winger said.
"Don't ever let go of that ho," King echoed.
The way Schram was playing, a three goal lead with any amount of time left on the clock would be too much for any team to over come. The Stench skated their final five minutes unable to mount much offensively, and as the buzzer sounded, they put away their hockey gear and brought out the golfing equipment.
Mother Russia kept on dancing.
"I know recently I said that I love winning and that I could not be any more for it. But again ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered another layer in my heart capable of loving greater than I had ever known possible. I love winning.... ready, get ready for it... I love winning in the playoffs," Scott Hoefer said, tearing up as he made fun of Neal for not knowing what the word "proactive" meant.
That's it from here tonight. Other things I didn't get to in the article:
-Beege played solid on the defensive side of things.
-We're going to miss Neal's offense in round 3 for sure.
-Hand's net presence was fantastic tonight.
-King was deking the best he has all season.
-Odell was a beast out there, and stepped in with timely faceoff wins too.
-Breiterman blocked a ton of shots in the first. A goal and two assists don't hurt either.
-Hoefer played exceptionally well, and I look forward to seeing Donald on Sunday.
-Horton's ability to roof job that in tight was orgasmic.
-Schram... not enough words.
THREE STARS:
3-Ben Breiterman
2-Neal Hendricks
1-Andy Schram
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
ROUND 2: #5 CRYPTIC STENCH vs #4 RED ARMY
THURSDAY JANUARY 14, 2010: Red Army vs Cryptic Stench, 11 pm @ the Plex.
REGULAR SEASON RECORDS:
Red Army: 10-3-1, 21 points
Cryptic Stench: 10-4-0, 20 points
SEASON SERIES:
1-0 Red Army, 6-4 victory for the Soviets
OTHER IMPORTANT STATS:
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Cryptic Stench 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 0
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Cryptic Stench 1
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Cryptic Stench 4
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
Goals For: Red Army 107, Cryptic Stench 96
Goals Against: Red Army 70, Cryptic Stench 58
Goals For Per Game Average: Red Army 7.64, Cryptic Stench 6.86
Goals Against Per Game Average: Red Army 5.00, Cryptic Stench 4.14
These two teams are remarkably close in nearly every facet of the game. The Red Army has the more potent offense, but the Stench yield fewer goals. In fact, these two teams' goal differentials at season's end were 38 and 37 (with the Stench narrowly edging the Comrades).
So lets break it down.
FIVE REASONS THE SOVIETS WIN:
1) #18. In last season's second round game against the Shockers, Hendricks put the team on his back with a seven goal explosion. Of course, there is history with the Shockers because of the rough stuff from years past, so Hendricks had extra motivation. There hasn't been any rough stuff between the Stench and Soviets this year has there? Oh wait... didn't Hendricks catch a baseball swing hockey stick to the cage of his helmet? I think he'll get up for this game.
2) Secondary scoring. Supposing that not every goal comes off the blade of #18, guys like Steve Hand, Pat King, and Tony Horton should all be chipping in too. King has emerged as a legit secondary scorer on the team, while Hand and Horton have improved their play with the puck in the more crowded areas of the rink. When all four of the offensemen are going, it's a well oiled goal scoring machine.
3) Defense or offense? I'm not sure what the Soviet defense is more known for, shutting down opposing team's forwards or scoring goals? On one hand, Ryan Odell, Brad Lotocki, Ben Breiterman, and Scott Hoefer all possess the capability of limiting shots, blocking them, and giving Andy Schram a light workload. Then again, they also possess the capability of joining the rush and scoring. Balance is key tomorrow night, and perhaps Sunday, and perhaps Tuesday, and then again on Thursday, and if necessary, Sunday again.
4) Schrambunctious out of the Funkctious. How about a great rebound performance against the Stench for #21? 99 times out of 100 he gives the Soviets a chance to win. That's all you can ask for the rookie goaltender.
5) Discipline. Tempers might flare tomorrow night, but the Soviets need to keep their emotions in check if they want to keep their season going. Too many seasons have ended because of untimely penalties. You can't win if you play the game shorthanded.
So... what you got? Is this another season that ends abruptly? Is this the start of something great? Or was this post the single most analyzed roller hockey game in human history?
My prediction: Red Army 8, Cryptic Stench 5.
Go get 'em, Comrades.
UPDATE:
Brad Lotocki will be interviewing for a job in Blacksburg, VA and will not be able to suit up tomorrow night. That could mean that Brian "Beege" Hendricks will be called up from the Trailside Tigers.
REGULAR SEASON RECORDS:
Red Army: 10-3-1, 21 points
Cryptic Stench: 10-4-0, 20 points
SEASON SERIES:
1-0 Red Army, 6-4 victory for the Soviets
OTHER IMPORTANT STATS:
60-69 point scorers: Red Army 1, Cryptic Stench 0
50-59 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 0
40-49 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
30-39 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
20-29 point scorers: Red Army 2, Cryptic Stench 1
10-19 point scorers: Red Army 5, Cryptic Stench 4
0-9 point scorers: Red Army 0, Cryptic Stench 1
Goals For: Red Army 107, Cryptic Stench 96
Goals Against: Red Army 70, Cryptic Stench 58
Goals For Per Game Average: Red Army 7.64, Cryptic Stench 6.86
Goals Against Per Game Average: Red Army 5.00, Cryptic Stench 4.14
These two teams are remarkably close in nearly every facet of the game. The Red Army has the more potent offense, but the Stench yield fewer goals. In fact, these two teams' goal differentials at season's end were 38 and 37 (with the Stench narrowly edging the Comrades).
So lets break it down.
FIVE REASONS THE SOVIETS WIN:
1) #18. In last season's second round game against the Shockers, Hendricks put the team on his back with a seven goal explosion. Of course, there is history with the Shockers because of the rough stuff from years past, so Hendricks had extra motivation. There hasn't been any rough stuff between the Stench and Soviets this year has there? Oh wait... didn't Hendricks catch a baseball swing hockey stick to the cage of his helmet? I think he'll get up for this game.
2) Secondary scoring. Supposing that not every goal comes off the blade of #18, guys like Steve Hand, Pat King, and Tony Horton should all be chipping in too. King has emerged as a legit secondary scorer on the team, while Hand and Horton have improved their play with the puck in the more crowded areas of the rink. When all four of the offensemen are going, it's a well oiled goal scoring machine.
3) Defense or offense? I'm not sure what the Soviet defense is more known for, shutting down opposing team's forwards or scoring goals? On one hand, Ryan Odell, Brad Lotocki, Ben Breiterman, and Scott Hoefer all possess the capability of limiting shots, blocking them, and giving Andy Schram a light workload. Then again, they also possess the capability of joining the rush and scoring. Balance is key tomorrow night, and perhaps Sunday, and perhaps Tuesday, and then again on Thursday, and if necessary, Sunday again.
4) Schrambunctious out of the Funkctious. How about a great rebound performance against the Stench for #21? 99 times out of 100 he gives the Soviets a chance to win. That's all you can ask for the rookie goaltender.
5) Discipline. Tempers might flare tomorrow night, but the Soviets need to keep their emotions in check if they want to keep their season going. Too many seasons have ended because of untimely penalties. You can't win if you play the game shorthanded.
So... what you got? Is this another season that ends abruptly? Is this the start of something great? Or was this post the single most analyzed roller hockey game in human history?
My prediction: Red Army 8, Cryptic Stench 5.
Go get 'em, Comrades.
UPDATE:
Brad Lotocki will be interviewing for a job in Blacksburg, VA and will not be able to suit up tomorrow night. That could mean that Brian "Beege" Hendricks will be called up from the Trailside Tigers.
4 Teams Go the Way of Old Yeller, 8 Remain
And now, a moment of silence for the four teams that lost their lives Tuesday night skating for a shot at glory.
THE DEPARTED:
-Islanders
-Unamused Pirates
-Hurricanes
-Mad Dads
May you wheels never break on the rink in the sky...
THE REMAINING 8:
1)Puck Ewes
2)Strangers
3)Grenades
4)Red Army
5)Cryptic Stench
6)Prestige Worldwide
7)The Jeff Schultz Experience
8)Shockers
The four in bold had byes, the other four were the survivors of round one. Where does that lead us going into tomorrow night's games? And by us, I mean loyal fans to Mother Russia. Well, I think it's time for my favorite time of the season, playoff preview time! (Cue Spanish sounding fiesta music and multiple "cha chas")
THE DEPARTED:
-Islanders
-Unamused Pirates
-Hurricanes
-Mad Dads
May you wheels never break on the rink in the sky...
THE REMAINING 8:
1)Puck Ewes
2)Strangers
3)Grenades
4)Red Army
5)Cryptic Stench
6)Prestige Worldwide
7)The Jeff Schultz Experience
8)Shockers
The four in bold had byes, the other four were the survivors of round one. Where does that lead us going into tomorrow night's games? And by us, I mean loyal fans to Mother Russia. Well, I think it's time for my favorite time of the season, playoff preview time! (Cue Spanish sounding fiesta music and multiple "cha chas")
Puck Ewes Hand Soviets Worst Loss of Year in Season Finale
Going into Sunday's action, the Red Army, with a win, could have leap-frogged the Puck Ewes in the standings and climbed into the number one spot. Instead, the Soviets used the opportunity to lay an egg, and no jumping, climbing, or leap-frogging was accomplished. The four seed it was, and remains. But as the adage goes: first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest, fourth is the one that wins four playoff games to win the Bronze League Roller Hockey Division!
Since there is a lot of playoff previewing to be one, this gamer will have to be short. So I'll break it down with some goods and bads.
GOODS:
-Puck control. At times, very brief times albeit, it looked like the Soviets were the better team. With the likes of Odell, Breiterman, and the Hendricks brothers, it's no secret that this team can hold on to the puck. When they did, things worked. When they didn't, things broke.
-The cycle. The few times that the Red Army established the cycle, it resulted in goals. Odell's late goal was a direct result of Mark Hendricks working behind the net.
-Line changes. Usually this is a bad with this team, but last game it seemed like the players seemed fresh. Just thought I'd give props to the guys on the bench.
BADS:
-Communication. Where was it? When nobody talks, things aren't organized, and mistakes get made. Ask my ex wife.
-Net presence. Too often players that go to the front of the net do the "fly by". That is, instead of parking in front, they skate to the front without slowing down and then skate away, so the amount of actual time they spend at the front of the net is close to one second. Park it.
-Stars trying too much. This one in particular is to #18, who despite putting up 4 points, still played unremarkable. Him and King rarely were on the same page, and a lot of that can be attributed to Hendricks thinking he is Jesus on wheels when he gets the puck. Use your teammates.
-Missed opportunities. Call it being unlucky or call it being snake bitten, but the Comrades his the post and crossbar about eight too many times last game. Somewhere Gordon Bombay is tossing in his sleep, probably because his knee hurts.
So, those are the goods and bads. Before I wrap up with the three stars and get into the playoff preview, I'll give you this quote by goaltender Andy Schram, who admittidly played a poor game in goal.
"I wasn't very good tonight. But I want them again. Run.... it.... back."
THREE STARS:
3: Scott Hoefer
2: Ryan Odell
1: Neal Hendricks
Since there is a lot of playoff previewing to be one, this gamer will have to be short. So I'll break it down with some goods and bads.
GOODS:
-Puck control. At times, very brief times albeit, it looked like the Soviets were the better team. With the likes of Odell, Breiterman, and the Hendricks brothers, it's no secret that this team can hold on to the puck. When they did, things worked. When they didn't, things broke.
-The cycle. The few times that the Red Army established the cycle, it resulted in goals. Odell's late goal was a direct result of Mark Hendricks working behind the net.
-Line changes. Usually this is a bad with this team, but last game it seemed like the players seemed fresh. Just thought I'd give props to the guys on the bench.
BADS:
-Communication. Where was it? When nobody talks, things aren't organized, and mistakes get made. Ask my ex wife.
-Net presence. Too often players that go to the front of the net do the "fly by". That is, instead of parking in front, they skate to the front without slowing down and then skate away, so the amount of actual time they spend at the front of the net is close to one second. Park it.
-Stars trying too much. This one in particular is to #18, who despite putting up 4 points, still played unremarkable. Him and King rarely were on the same page, and a lot of that can be attributed to Hendricks thinking he is Jesus on wheels when he gets the puck. Use your teammates.
-Missed opportunities. Call it being unlucky or call it being snake bitten, but the Comrades his the post and crossbar about eight too many times last game. Somewhere Gordon Bombay is tossing in his sleep, probably because his knee hurts.
So, those are the goods and bads. Before I wrap up with the three stars and get into the playoff preview, I'll give you this quote by goaltender Andy Schram, who admittidly played a poor game in goal.
"I wasn't very good tonight. But I want them again. Run.... it.... back."
THREE STARS:
3: Scott Hoefer
2: Ryan Odell
1: Neal Hendricks
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Counting Down the Top Ten Moments of 2009- #1: Fisting the Shockers
It is no secret that Barry Melrose does not write this blog. Sure, the idea is funny (hilarious to me, actually) but everybody knows it is not the ESPN analyst spending countless hours a year documenting the trials and tribulations of an adult league roller hockey team. He doesn't have the time, or so he said in a very cordial email four Aprils ago.
It is I, Mark Hendricks, who sits down and writes articles, selects three stars of the game, and covers phony award ceremonies held in various Scandinavian cities in the two-week off seasons. Why am I lifting the veil? Well, just once, just this one time, I want to ignore the journalistic responsibilities of a beat reporter and report on the number one story of 2009 as a player, a fan, and a brother. Also, I want to curse a few times. So, stop reading now if you want to spare yourself the muses of #18, but please know that your click has probably already added another few cents to the Digest's bank account. Daddy's gotta eat.
Now, I must preface this post by saying that I am always confused when I hear other teams refer to the Red Army as dirty. What constitutes dirty? Fighting? Do three fights over two years classify us as dirty? I don't think so. Do we play physical? Sure, occasionally there are some scrums in front of the net, but does that make us dirty? I don't think so. See, it is tough to understand the impetus for calling my team dirty when the comments I read say things like this: "HA clean game and red army go together like hippies and haircuts". Okay, a decent analogy, and I'm certainly glad the author was able to incorporate a group of people still relevant today, but where are the reasons? Maybe next time anonymous wants to comment, he can cite a few examples of Soviet brutality and also treat us with a flapper reference.
Alas, after talking of how the Red Army is not dirty, I must admit that the number one moment of 2009 centers around violence. I am not for fighting or hitting in roller hockey. It's not a contact league, we don't have the protective gear on, and most of the skaters don't even know how to properly (or cleanly) hit or fight. Still, there are extenuating circumstances when I think it is okay to drop the gloves. One of those situations arose on July 9, 2009 in a game against, shocker, the Shockers.
The Red Army and Shockers have a history of physical games. Lately, the games have become more and more physical, and things took a sour turn a little more than a year ago when my younger brother Brian was boarded from behind into the end wall, causing his knee cap to break in two places. His running career suffered a major set back, he was on crutches for several months (including during my older brother's wedding), and he still suffers from knee pain and may require an additional surgery later in life. Still, after the hit the asshole who committed the act went on laughing and continued talking shit even as he skated to the penalty box for a two minute tripping penalty. At the time, we didn't know the extent of the injury, so vengeance wasn't sought. In the coming days I realized I would have traded all ten of those goals to punch the lights out of any of those certified douchebags. But, the opportunity never arose.
I spent a few seasons playing at the Box in a gold league, abandoning my Comrades after being frustrated by another losing season at Dulles, and formed new rivalries at the rink in Chantilly. But, since no one wants to read about my awesome championship winning season and obviously just want me to get to the ass kicking parts of the story, I'll skip ahead in this saga again. After three seasons I returned to my roots, to my original project, or as many affectionately refer to her as, Mother Russia. I soon realized that not much had changed in the Shockers/Red Army relationship. Physicality reigned supreme, and I was met, as were all my Comrades, with slashes, hooks, and frothing insults that lacked in originality and delivery.
But things were changing as well. For one, the Red Army didn't suck anymore. Steve Hand, Tony Horton, Pat King, and Andrew Schram all had continued their evolutions as hockey players, and Ryan Odell and Ben Breiterman had returned for the second and third terms, respectively, for the Red Army. The Shockers, who used to easily dispose of the Soviets, now had to earn two points. As it turned out, they also earned a few stitches that fateful July when they ran their mouths.
(NOTE: if you haven't yet, I suggest you put on some rock music right now. My personal preference is Audioslave's Show Me How to Live. You won't regret it.)
Let's pick it up in the 3rd. It's 8-6 Red Army and the intensity is picking up. Loges and I, as always, have engaged in a few pushes and shoves, and have each already sat two minutes for roughing. Moments after being released from the box, we collide near the benches (by no accident). He gave me a cross check in the back as he skated to the loose puck, and circled back into our zone. I watched him take it wide on the defense and saw him skating towards the far post. By no accident, that's where I was going too. He had his head down, I had my shoulder cocked, and I connected. I drove through the NAMBLA card holding member and sent his body flying into the boards. He got up, tried to act tough, but behaved like a nice bitch when Tony stepped in his way. I sat my two minutes.
Now it's getting late, real late. With almost no time left on the clock, Loges pushes Ben into the boards from behind. Now, Loges has every right to be pissed off because he got rocked twice by me earlier in the period. His dildo also ran out of batteries so it hasn't been a very good day. Still, he felt the need to provoke Ben, and that's one mother fucker you don't provoke.
History books quote famous last words like, "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country", to honor the sacrifices made by men. So, I will give Loges the honor of quoting his last words before his face became a hang out for both of Ben's fists. "Do something," the dickweed said.
Ben did.
With the grace of someone who played collegiate hockey at Stony Brook, Ben lifted up the cage of the suddenly cowardly Shocker, and began laying a beat down. Right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist. Loges' knees buckled, he collapsed as blood streamed down his cheeks. A few feet from the defeated Loges, his teammate was getting worked by Schram, who had also taken offense to the countless liberties the Shockers had takenall game over the years. Schram worked the body and took his dance partner down with a textbook wrap up and tackle. Hand, who was patrolling the rink, celebrated at center. We had just kicked their ass.
Do yourself a favor and take a trip down memory lane, here.
So, number 1 worthy? I think the only acceptable answer is fuck yes.
Also, we beat them in the playoffs last season. God I hate those guys.
It is I, Mark Hendricks, who sits down and writes articles, selects three stars of the game, and covers phony award ceremonies held in various Scandinavian cities in the two-week off seasons. Why am I lifting the veil? Well, just once, just this one time, I want to ignore the journalistic responsibilities of a beat reporter and report on the number one story of 2009 as a player, a fan, and a brother. Also, I want to curse a few times. So, stop reading now if you want to spare yourself the muses of #18, but please know that your click has probably already added another few cents to the Digest's bank account. Daddy's gotta eat.
Now, I must preface this post by saying that I am always confused when I hear other teams refer to the Red Army as dirty. What constitutes dirty? Fighting? Do three fights over two years classify us as dirty? I don't think so. Do we play physical? Sure, occasionally there are some scrums in front of the net, but does that make us dirty? I don't think so. See, it is tough to understand the impetus for calling my team dirty when the comments I read say things like this: "HA clean game and red army go together like hippies and haircuts". Okay, a decent analogy, and I'm certainly glad the author was able to incorporate a group of people still relevant today, but where are the reasons? Maybe next time anonymous wants to comment, he can cite a few examples of Soviet brutality and also treat us with a flapper reference.
Alas, after talking of how the Red Army is not dirty, I must admit that the number one moment of 2009 centers around violence. I am not for fighting or hitting in roller hockey. It's not a contact league, we don't have the protective gear on, and most of the skaters don't even know how to properly (or cleanly) hit or fight. Still, there are extenuating circumstances when I think it is okay to drop the gloves. One of those situations arose on July 9, 2009 in a game against, shocker, the Shockers.
The Red Army and Shockers have a history of physical games. Lately, the games have become more and more physical, and things took a sour turn a little more than a year ago when my younger brother Brian was boarded from behind into the end wall, causing his knee cap to break in two places. His running career suffered a major set back, he was on crutches for several months (including during my older brother's wedding), and he still suffers from knee pain and may require an additional surgery later in life. Still, after the hit the asshole who committed the act went on laughing and continued talking shit even as he skated to the penalty box for a two minute tripping penalty. At the time, we didn't know the extent of the injury, so vengeance wasn't sought. In the coming days I realized I would have traded all ten of those goals to punch the lights out of any of those certified douchebags. But, the opportunity never arose.
I spent a few seasons playing at the Box in a gold league, abandoning my Comrades after being frustrated by another losing season at Dulles, and formed new rivalries at the rink in Chantilly. But, since no one wants to read about my awesome championship winning season and obviously just want me to get to the ass kicking parts of the story, I'll skip ahead in this saga again. After three seasons I returned to my roots, to my original project, or as many affectionately refer to her as, Mother Russia. I soon realized that not much had changed in the Shockers/Red Army relationship. Physicality reigned supreme, and I was met, as were all my Comrades, with slashes, hooks, and frothing insults that lacked in originality and delivery.
But things were changing as well. For one, the Red Army didn't suck anymore. Steve Hand, Tony Horton, Pat King, and Andrew Schram all had continued their evolutions as hockey players, and Ryan Odell and Ben Breiterman had returned for the second and third terms, respectively, for the Red Army. The Shockers, who used to easily dispose of the Soviets, now had to earn two points. As it turned out, they also earned a few stitches that fateful July when they ran their mouths.
(NOTE: if you haven't yet, I suggest you put on some rock music right now. My personal preference is Audioslave's Show Me How to Live. You won't regret it.)
Let's pick it up in the 3rd. It's 8-6 Red Army and the intensity is picking up. Loges and I, as always, have engaged in a few pushes and shoves, and have each already sat two minutes for roughing. Moments after being released from the box, we collide near the benches (by no accident). He gave me a cross check in the back as he skated to the loose puck, and circled back into our zone. I watched him take it wide on the defense and saw him skating towards the far post. By no accident, that's where I was going too. He had his head down, I had my shoulder cocked, and I connected. I drove through the NAMBLA card holding member and sent his body flying into the boards. He got up, tried to act tough, but behaved like a nice bitch when Tony stepped in his way. I sat my two minutes.
Now it's getting late, real late. With almost no time left on the clock, Loges pushes Ben into the boards from behind. Now, Loges has every right to be pissed off because he got rocked twice by me earlier in the period. His dildo also ran out of batteries so it hasn't been a very good day. Still, he felt the need to provoke Ben, and that's one mother fucker you don't provoke.
History books quote famous last words like, "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country", to honor the sacrifices made by men. So, I will give Loges the honor of quoting his last words before his face became a hang out for both of Ben's fists. "Do something," the dickweed said.
Ben did.
With the grace of someone who played collegiate hockey at Stony Brook, Ben lifted up the cage of the suddenly cowardly Shocker, and began laying a beat down. Right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist. Loges' knees buckled, he collapsed as blood streamed down his cheeks. A few feet from the defeated Loges, his teammate was getting worked by Schram, who had also taken offense to the countless liberties the Shockers had taken
Do yourself a favor and take a trip down memory lane, here.
So, number 1 worthy? I think the only acceptable answer is fuck yes.
Also, we beat them in the playoffs last season. God I hate those guys.
Prestige's Reign Doesn't Reach Russian Borders
Though they boast having prestige that encompasses all of the globe, Prestige Worldwide had to live with the fact that the largest country by land mass placed an embargo on them. Yes, in yet another thrilling match up between rivals PW and the Red Army, it was a game that came down to the final seconds. For once, in these two teams' brief history together, Lady Luck favored Mother Russia.
"It was a big game for us," Mark Hendricks said. "We were coming off a tough loss to the Strangers. We wanted to get back on the winning track, and we knew it was going to be a tough game and would be close, but we thought we could win." The alternate captain, who finished with two goals and an assist also hinted at the fact that these two teams might not be done with each other this season. "I think we are good and I think they are good. Good teams win, and if you win then you keep on playing. They won the first game this season, we won game two. I think we'll see a game three."
Hendricks started the scoring in the first when he took a slick drop pass from Pat King and, using the defenseman as a screen, fired a low wrist shot five hole on the unsuspecting goalie.
"It's good to be playing with Mark again," King said after the game. "We read each other pretty well out there. Communication is the key, though I think sometimes he can talk a little too much. Like in the second period when I was in the corner, Mark skated behind the net and started yelling 'I think it is strange that many sequels make more money at the box office than the originals yet the sequels almost always are of poorer cinematic quality'. I mean, the point is valid, but with three minutes to go in the period and I'm at the end of a long shift I just want to know if he's open."
Another Hendricks, Neal, increased the lead to two later in the frame. Playing on a line with Tony Horton, Hendricks took the Big Rig's cross crease feed and tapped one backdoor.
"He is quick out there," Horton said. "Playing with speed is fun, it allows you to create more." Horton, who was the recipient of a high stick in the first period, also mentioned how important it is to keep one's cool. "I could have retaliated, but I think, and it's especially true at this point of the season, that we need to keep our emotions in check. Besides, it's not in my nature to be aggressive. I can't think of any Germans who ever used force, or imposed themselves on others, or invaded Poland."
The Prestigious Ones tallied one late against Chris Celenski, who was filling in for Andy Schram, to make the score 2-1 after the first.
"We were pretty happy after the first," Brad Lotocki said. "It was an up tempo game and we had the legs." Lotocki then rotated his spit roast a quarter turn as the gazelle he had killed in the parking lot was nearing perfection. "Just a few more minutes now," he said, sprinkling pepper onto the carcass.
Prestige knotted the score at two in the second frame after a defensive break down lead to a breakaway.
"Shouldn't have done that, he's just a boy," Brian Hendricks said. "I'm just living the dream and I think we need more wine in a can. But seriously, if anyone tries to get another break away against us I'm going to ride on an eagle, soar real high, and go all America on everyone's ass! Up high! Oh yeah Svenska!"
"He only quotes things from movies and sitcoms," Brian's twin brother Neal said. "Those lines were from Southpark and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Those aren't his lines! He is a joke stealer. Actually, that last one isn't even a joke, he's just saying 'Oh Yeah Swedish' and that doesn't even make sense! Why do people think he is funny!?!"
The period ended tied, and as expected, the game between the two rivals became a fifteen minute match up.
Prestige drew blood first in the final frame. After a questionable rebound surrendered by Celenski was pushed out into the goal mouth, a forward of Prestigious descent made no mistake in burying the loose puck.
"Oh no, here we go again," Mr. King tweeted from his I-phone (one of the many perks of being a Red Army season ticket holder) as he watched from his center ice perch with Mrs. King and last year's 3rd round draft pick Brian King.
Everyone seemed to sense it. The game appeared to be yet another sequel in an increasingly depressing series for the Soviets, a series centered around late losses to Prestige Worldwide. Hendricks though, an aspiring writer himself, decided to offer an alternate ending to the script. With under five minutes to go, after a very impressive penalty kill, the league leading scorer took an indirect pass from his younger brother Neal and raced full speed ahead with the puck into the PW zone. The sniper took it wide on the lone defender before cutting back across the crease and firing a snap shot from nearly zero angle past the sprawling goaltender.
Hendricks performed one of his patented overly jacked celebrations as he slid to one knee and fist pumped. Still, the game was tied, not won. Hendricks and friends would need one more strike before they could secure two points and a first round bye. With ninety seconds left, they got that strike. King and Hendricks worked the puck into the offensive zone and began the cycle. The defensemen, Hoefer and Beege, had activated and were involved in the play. Beege took a feed from King and skated down along the half wall to the right of the Prestige goal. Hendricks moved out to the point as Hoefer went to the front of the net and jostled for position. Beege fired a seam pass to Hendricks who sent a slap pass in the direction of Hoefer. Hoefer got a stick on the puck, and redirected it a few inches up and over the pad of the opposing goalie.
The Plex was a-rockin'.
It kept rocking for the furious remaining minute and change. With the extra attacker on the Prestigious tried everything they could to tie the game, but shots were blocked and pucks were cleared. With three seconds to go another scramble for a loose puck occurred in Celenski's crease but Beege was able to steer it safety and secure the win, and more importantly, that coveted first round pass. It evened the season series between the two rivals, and gave the Soviets some momentum as they head into their final game of the regular season next week against the number one ranked Puck Ewes.
"Right now we feel like we can beat anybody," Hoefer said. "That's our goal, to beat anybody we play. I like winning. It's no secret that I like winning, and after tonight, where I scored my first career game winning goal, I'd just like to say that I like winning even more. I know many of you, and even myself before this very moment, thought that my attitude towards winning could not be pushed any further in the pro winning direction. But it has been pushed folks. It has been. I love winning."
So, that's it for now from the Plex. The Soviets have clinched a top four spot in the division and in doing so, have also clinched a first round bye. Now, as for you statisticians out there trying to crank out all the scenarios for how the standings may ultimately end up, good luck. Even with a win, the Soviets can still finish as low as fourth, though they would also be able to earn the top spot with some help. With a loss, they probably do fall to that four seed, though could stay in the three spot with some help. We won't know until next week. For now, a toast to another ten win season, first round bye, and win over Prestige Worldwide, who's reign, as mentioned earlier, does not reach the Motherland's borders.
THREE STARS:
3: Neal Hendricks
2: Mark Hendricks
1: Scott Hoefer
"It was a big game for us," Mark Hendricks said. "We were coming off a tough loss to the Strangers. We wanted to get back on the winning track, and we knew it was going to be a tough game and would be close, but we thought we could win." The alternate captain, who finished with two goals and an assist also hinted at the fact that these two teams might not be done with each other this season. "I think we are good and I think they are good. Good teams win, and if you win then you keep on playing. They won the first game this season, we won game two. I think we'll see a game three."
Hendricks started the scoring in the first when he took a slick drop pass from Pat King and, using the defenseman as a screen, fired a low wrist shot five hole on the unsuspecting goalie.
"It's good to be playing with Mark again," King said after the game. "We read each other pretty well out there. Communication is the key, though I think sometimes he can talk a little too much. Like in the second period when I was in the corner, Mark skated behind the net and started yelling 'I think it is strange that many sequels make more money at the box office than the originals yet the sequels almost always are of poorer cinematic quality'. I mean, the point is valid, but with three minutes to go in the period and I'm at the end of a long shift I just want to know if he's open."
Another Hendricks, Neal, increased the lead to two later in the frame. Playing on a line with Tony Horton, Hendricks took the Big Rig's cross crease feed and tapped one backdoor.
"He is quick out there," Horton said. "Playing with speed is fun, it allows you to create more." Horton, who was the recipient of a high stick in the first period, also mentioned how important it is to keep one's cool. "I could have retaliated, but I think, and it's especially true at this point of the season, that we need to keep our emotions in check. Besides, it's not in my nature to be aggressive. I can't think of any Germans who ever used force, or imposed themselves on others, or invaded Poland."
The Prestigious Ones tallied one late against Chris Celenski, who was filling in for Andy Schram, to make the score 2-1 after the first.
"We were pretty happy after the first," Brad Lotocki said. "It was an up tempo game and we had the legs." Lotocki then rotated his spit roast a quarter turn as the gazelle he had killed in the parking lot was nearing perfection. "Just a few more minutes now," he said, sprinkling pepper onto the carcass.
Prestige knotted the score at two in the second frame after a defensive break down lead to a breakaway.
"Shouldn't have done that, he's just a boy," Brian Hendricks said. "I'm just living the dream and I think we need more wine in a can. But seriously, if anyone tries to get another break away against us I'm going to ride on an eagle, soar real high, and go all America on everyone's ass! Up high! Oh yeah Svenska!"
"He only quotes things from movies and sitcoms," Brian's twin brother Neal said. "Those lines were from Southpark and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Those aren't his lines! He is a joke stealer. Actually, that last one isn't even a joke, he's just saying 'Oh Yeah Swedish' and that doesn't even make sense! Why do people think he is funny!?!"
The period ended tied, and as expected, the game between the two rivals became a fifteen minute match up.
Prestige drew blood first in the final frame. After a questionable rebound surrendered by Celenski was pushed out into the goal mouth, a forward of Prestigious descent made no mistake in burying the loose puck.
"Oh no, here we go again," Mr. King tweeted from his I-phone (one of the many perks of being a Red Army season ticket holder) as he watched from his center ice perch with Mrs. King and last year's 3rd round draft pick Brian King.
Everyone seemed to sense it. The game appeared to be yet another sequel in an increasingly depressing series for the Soviets, a series centered around late losses to Prestige Worldwide. Hendricks though, an aspiring writer himself, decided to offer an alternate ending to the script. With under five minutes to go, after a very impressive penalty kill, the league leading scorer took an indirect pass from his younger brother Neal and raced full speed ahead with the puck into the PW zone. The sniper took it wide on the lone defender before cutting back across the crease and firing a snap shot from nearly zero angle past the sprawling goaltender.
Hendricks performed one of his patented overly jacked celebrations as he slid to one knee and fist pumped. Still, the game was tied, not won. Hendricks and friends would need one more strike before they could secure two points and a first round bye. With ninety seconds left, they got that strike. King and Hendricks worked the puck into the offensive zone and began the cycle. The defensemen, Hoefer and Beege, had activated and were involved in the play. Beege took a feed from King and skated down along the half wall to the right of the Prestige goal. Hendricks moved out to the point as Hoefer went to the front of the net and jostled for position. Beege fired a seam pass to Hendricks who sent a slap pass in the direction of Hoefer. Hoefer got a stick on the puck, and redirected it a few inches up and over the pad of the opposing goalie.
The Plex was a-rockin'.
It kept rocking for the furious remaining minute and change. With the extra attacker on the Prestigious tried everything they could to tie the game, but shots were blocked and pucks were cleared. With three seconds to go another scramble for a loose puck occurred in Celenski's crease but Beege was able to steer it safety and secure the win, and more importantly, that coveted first round pass. It evened the season series between the two rivals, and gave the Soviets some momentum as they head into their final game of the regular season next week against the number one ranked Puck Ewes.
"Right now we feel like we can beat anybody," Hoefer said. "That's our goal, to beat anybody we play. I like winning. It's no secret that I like winning, and after tonight, where I scored my first career game winning goal, I'd just like to say that I like winning even more. I know many of you, and even myself before this very moment, thought that my attitude towards winning could not be pushed any further in the pro winning direction. But it has been pushed folks. It has been. I love winning."
So, that's it for now from the Plex. The Soviets have clinched a top four spot in the division and in doing so, have also clinched a first round bye. Now, as for you statisticians out there trying to crank out all the scenarios for how the standings may ultimately end up, good luck. Even with a win, the Soviets can still finish as low as fourth, though they would also be able to earn the top spot with some help. With a loss, they probably do fall to that four seed, though could stay in the three spot with some help. We won't know until next week. For now, a toast to another ten win season, first round bye, and win over Prestige Worldwide, who's reign, as mentioned earlier, does not reach the Motherland's borders.
THREE STARS:
3: Neal Hendricks
2: Mark Hendricks
1: Scott Hoefer
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Counting down the Top Ten of 2009- #2: Heartbreak at the Buzzer
In what will inevitably be considered the most controversial selection in our top ten countdown, we here at the Digest are sticking to our guns and picking last season's eliminating game against rivals Prestige Worldwide as the number two moment of 2009. Why? Consider the following:
What makes something so special that it can be classified as a top moment? I think two things necessitate being dubbed as such. For one, there has to be triumph. By this I am not adhering to a strict interpretation of the word triumph where, in a hockey sense, only victory equates triumph. There are ways to lose and be triumphant, and though the situation rarely presents itself, when it does, it should be savored.
Secondly, there has to be a strong emotion attached to the moment. A 20-4 walloping of a team might look great in the boxscore, but eleven minutes into the contest when the game is out of reach, the players on both teams have lost the fire. There needs to be a gut wrenching, nail biting aspect of a game that sends fans to the doctors afterward for blood pressure checkups. Let's use an analogy, one that many will enjoy (or hate, since the topic is painful). At the second intermission of game 7 between the Capitals and Penguins last year, I had made peace with the season coming to an end. The agony I had felt earlier in the game, watching the eventual cup winners make the score 1-0, then 2-0, then 3, 4, and 5-0, had vanquished, and I watched the zambonis resurface the ice for the final time as Kitt provided the solemn organ music. I was disheartened, but not destroyed. Contrast that with one year earlier when I sat and watched the Flyers score in overtime to eliminate the Capitals in game 7. My world was rocked. Forget Kitt, I wanted to hijack a zamboni and kamikaze the liberty bell. Sudden death is just that, sudden. It is painful, agonizing, and a breeding ground of irrational thought and rage.
So, did the playoff loss meet both requirements? I would certainly say so. Sure, the Soviets were defeated, and the loss stung for several hours or days, but when the dust settled people realized what had just been accomplished. A team that hadn't had a winning record in three years just won ten games in a row to set a franchise record in points, then, after a bye, beat their biggest rivals to advance the farthest they've ever been into postseason play, and then was eliminated with a power play goal that came with less than a second on the clock in regulation. Sure, heartbreak... but triumph too.
As for the emotion, the fact that I still can't even write about it is a testament to how painful that loss still resonates. Even today, some two months and three days since this, I still shy away from detailing the events of that last second goal mouth scrum. Like the raping of Indiana Jones in the memories of the children of South Park, I see it in my dreams at night, replaying slower and slower as the loose puck trickles across the goal line.
Ahhhh, maybe this season will be different.
What makes something so special that it can be classified as a top moment? I think two things necessitate being dubbed as such. For one, there has to be triumph. By this I am not adhering to a strict interpretation of the word triumph where, in a hockey sense, only victory equates triumph. There are ways to lose and be triumphant, and though the situation rarely presents itself, when it does, it should be savored.
Secondly, there has to be a strong emotion attached to the moment. A 20-4 walloping of a team might look great in the boxscore, but eleven minutes into the contest when the game is out of reach, the players on both teams have lost the fire. There needs to be a gut wrenching, nail biting aspect of a game that sends fans to the doctors afterward for blood pressure checkups. Let's use an analogy, one that many will enjoy (or hate, since the topic is painful). At the second intermission of game 7 between the Capitals and Penguins last year, I had made peace with the season coming to an end. The agony I had felt earlier in the game, watching the eventual cup winners make the score 1-0, then 2-0, then 3, 4, and 5-0, had vanquished, and I watched the zambonis resurface the ice for the final time as Kitt provided the solemn organ music. I was disheartened, but not destroyed. Contrast that with one year earlier when I sat and watched the Flyers score in overtime to eliminate the Capitals in game 7. My world was rocked. Forget Kitt, I wanted to hijack a zamboni and kamikaze the liberty bell. Sudden death is just that, sudden. It is painful, agonizing, and a breeding ground of irrational thought and rage.
So, did the playoff loss meet both requirements? I would certainly say so. Sure, the Soviets were defeated, and the loss stung for several hours or days, but when the dust settled people realized what had just been accomplished. A team that hadn't had a winning record in three years just won ten games in a row to set a franchise record in points, then, after a bye, beat their biggest rivals to advance the farthest they've ever been into postseason play, and then was eliminated with a power play goal that came with less than a second on the clock in regulation. Sure, heartbreak... but triumph too.
As for the emotion, the fact that I still can't even write about it is a testament to how painful that loss still resonates. Even today, some two months and three days since this, I still shy away from detailing the events of that last second goal mouth scrum. Like the raping of Indiana Jones in the memories of the children of South Park, I see it in my dreams at night, replaying slower and slower as the loose puck trickles across the goal line.
Ahhhh, maybe this season will be different.
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