Championship Hangover Over; Red Army Defeats Shockers for First Win of New Season

Around 2:35pm yesterday afternoon, Mother Russia rolled out of bed, knocking several stray, empty beer cans off of her bedside table. The Soviet Matriarch placed her feet on the floor and held her head in her hands, letting out an audible groan before slowly rising and trudging out into the hallway towards the bathroom. With her hands fumbling for the light switch, she flicked on the fluorescent bulbs but was quickly blinded by the unsuspecting brightness, and shielded her eyes from the wrath of the 100 watt assailants. With her eyes slowly dilating, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes bloodshot, her hair disheveled; she bore little resemblance to the Cinderella she was just one month prior.

Yes, Mother Russia was experiencing a (championship) hangover.

The Soviets had dropped their first two contests of the season entering play last night. The first game, a loss to the Strangers, was a run and gun style of game that was too loose and a polar opposite of the tight hockey the Comrades had played in January. The second loss was at the hands of the Puck Ewes, who easily disposed of the Hendricks-less Russians.

But then, the Shockers came. If there is one constant in Red Army hockey, it is that a game against the Shockers gets the blood flowing (sometimes externally for Loges). What Chaser is to binge drinkers, the Shockers are to a post-championship winning Red Army team. The mind becomes clear, the nerves settle, and the eyes become focused. Early Sunday evening, the hangover ended, and the Comrades played their style of game winning 9-5, earning points 1 and 2 on the new campaign.

"It was really important to not start 0-3," Captain Steve Hand said. "We know we're a good team, but we still have to play like it. We can't just assume we're going to make the playoffs and sweep everyone again. So the win was key."

Hand, who scored two goals on the evening, also was engaged in some pushing and shoving in front of the Shocker net in the second period. Him and Loges were assessed two minute roughing penalties on the play.

"He's a real [jerk] that Loges. Every game he tries to stir up some [nonsense]. But, we know he's their best player so if he wants to keep taking trips to the penalty box it works for us. It's probably the only interaction with box he ever gets."

The rough stuff was present, but no eruptions occurred like in seasons past. Hand and King were the only two Soviets penalized, and both were coincidental calls (Loges earning both Shocker calls).

"It seems like I'm never on the rink when tempers flare," Breiterman said. "It's a shame, because I could really use a punching bag." Breiterman then smiled his patented wry, Jewish smile, sending chills down the spines of sixty year old women everywhere.

After allowing a 4-0 lead to dissipate into a 5-3 advantage, the Comrades used the intermission between periods two and three to talk over strategy.

"Defense was making some mistakes, so we had to simplify things," Scott Hoefer said. "I fumbled around out there a bit, but in the third we knew we still had the lead, so we had to forget about the mistakes and just play like we were capable of."

Hoefer, who was playing his first game since winning the championship, reiterated his thirst for winning. "I don't ever want to lose again, ever. I don't want to lose in hockey. I don't want to lose in Stratego. I don't even want to lose one hand of rock, paper, scissors."

In the third, the Shockers would make it close, but the star power on the Soviets shone too brightly. Hendricks, Breiterman, and Schram pulled their weight in the final frame and ensured the first tally in the win column. Breiterman completed his hat trick, Hendricks started and finished his, and Schram turned away 13 of 15 shots. It's the type of performance the team needed, according to the goalie.

"I get a great vantage point of the whole game," Schram said. "Sometimes I see that we're playing well, sometimes I see that we're playing poorly. Tonight was both. We would cycle down low and work the puck like magicians, but then we would stop skating and allow too many odd man breaks. It was a fine tuning game. There's some things we need to work on for sure, but a lot of good to take from it as well."

Pat King, who finished with a goal and a helper, echoed his goaltender's sentiments.

"For sure, I think we saw a bit of what we can do offensively tonight. The cycle was really working, and that's great because that means the defense is stepping up and being involved. I think we got away from the that a bit in the second and tried to go run and gun, and I think that will work but there needs to be a balance."

Balance is what they'll strive for when they look to even up their record at 2-2 on Tuesday versus the Cryptic Stench.

OTHER NOTES AND QUOTES:
-The Red Army is now 5-0-0 in the last 5 games that Scott Hoefer has skated.
-Tony Horton almost had the play of the game when he tripped in the corner behind the goal in the offensive zone, then flipped a guy over his back while getting up, had the puck ricochet off of the back boards to him for a zero angle shot into an empty net, but misfired wide. "German magic" Horton called it afterward.
-Brian Lynch enjoyed a solid outing on defense, taking no penalties and even stepping up into the rush at times. That's what we like to see out of numero uno.
-Brad Lotocki also was solid. But that's vintage Lotocki.
-Hendricks, despite his five point night, was not the highest producing Comrade. Breiterman had six points. As of now, that gives Hendricks 13 points on the season and Breiterman 14. Any chance we see a new scoring leader for the Red Army this season? I think we see two top ten scorers in the league, at least.
-The Olympic Break is next week, and I'll post an article on the four Olympians representing their countries during the break.