Red Army Upsets Puck Ewes in Dominating Performance, Climbs Higher in Standings

Entering play on Thursday night, the Puck Ewes sat atop the Silver Division with a lofty 6-0-1 record. They were undefeated 7 games into a 14 game season, and aside from their lone tie, had played only two games where the final score had been decided by three goals or less. Yes, these guys were good.

Unfortunately for them, game eight was against the Red Army. Thanks to stellar goaltending by Andy Schram, an offensive explosion in the first period, and a commitment to team defense, the Soviets derailed the Puck Ewes' bid at a perfect season and defeated the number one seed by a score of 7-3. The good news for the Puck Ewes? They still have played only three games where the score was decided by three goals or less.

"We get up for these guys, number one seed or not," Captain Steve Hand, who tallied his fifth goal of the season, said. "We have some history with these guys, and I'm sure they still remember our series from two seasons ago. It's all about making sure they always remember the night they played the titans! I mean Red Army... Red Army."

The scoring started early, with the Soviets striking on their first shot of the game. After Mark Hendricks intercepted a breakout pass, he fired the puck across to Beege. Beege dumped the puck in below the Puck Ewe goal line to Pat King, and King slid a pass in front to Hendricks who jammed home the puck before celebrating, pausing, and celebrating again.

"I didn't know if it was in or not," Hendricks said after the game. "I shot it five hole, and I knew there was daylight between his pads so I figured it went in so I celebrated. But I couldn't find the puck in the net, so I thought maybe I should keep jamming at his pads. Luckily Patty said the puck was in so I shot my arms back up and got my 'bration on."

The lead was shortlived however, as on the next shift, after a botched drop pass resulted in a turnover, the Puck Ewes struck to tie the game.

It would be the closest they would get.

On the ensuing face-off, a Puck Ewe defender seemingly tripped over his own blue line and coughed up the puck to Hand, who waltzed in all alone and fired a wrist shot top shelf where Dave and Katie keep the Bailey's Irish Creme.

"It was a nice shot," Neal Hendricks said. "We're not sure how he does it, but Steve seems to make defenders trip for no apparent reason. It could be, and again, this is not confirmed, but it could be the power of the chin."

The lead was increased to two, three, and four before the period would end thanks to the Labia Line. King scored the third Soviet tally when he fired home a rebound that came out to him after Mark Hendricks drove hard to the net.

"I hope they count that goal as #57 from #57," King said.

Ben Breiterman scored the next goal, which came 15 seconds after King's, when he took a pass from Mark Hendricks and strode down the high slot unmolested. His high snap shot, however, molested the back of the net.

"Throw what you!" Breiterman yelled making the "L" sign for Labia. "Make sure when you write about my goal you use the word molested twice," he added.

Mark Hendricks scored his second of the game later in the period when he took a pass from Beege, spun off a defender, and scored on his own rebound while coming hard down the wing. The goal, which made the score 5-1, sent the fans into delirium.

"The Plex was a-rockin' tonight," Jamie "Jimma Jam" Simek said. "At one point I even saw my girlfriend on the jumbotron leading the 'C-C-C-P' chants, it was crazy." Simek then paused, became serious, and continued, "She was also on the kisscam."

"My girlfriend won free lasik, so I'm happy," Drew Kelley added.

The Puck Ewes tried to chip away at the lead, but Schram was on top of his game and refused to yield. Even on plays where the Soviet netminder seemed beaten, a last ditch effort to stop the puck would work, adding to team in red's confidence while further dismantling the team in white.

"I was seeing the puck tonight," Schram, who finished with 32 saves said. "Some games you just feel it, and I've said it once and I'll say it again, I got the power of God on my side with this Christian stick." Schram then went door to door around the surrounding northern Virginia suburbs to interrupt homeowners during their dinners and ask if they had accepted Jesus as their personal goalie. "He saves everything," is the pitch that the Schram apparently uses.

Mark Hendricks tacked on his third of the game in the dying moments of the middle frame when he was the recipient of a pretty pass from Beege. The defender fired a slap pass which Mark redirected on goal. The initial shot was saved the the winger slammed home the rebound to make the lead 6-2.

"How about that pass? Ohhhhhh yeah!" Beege said after the game.

Hendricks and Breiterman hooked up one more time, this time in the opening minute of the third period, when Breiterman sent a cross rink pass to Hendricks, and Hendricks fired the wrist shot short side on the goalie.

The Puck Ewes would score one later in the period, but the damage was done. Time ticked off the clock and the horn sounded. The Comrades, unlike every other team in the division, had defeated the Puck Ewes.

"Do I even have to say it?" Hoefer, who finished with a game high 9 blocked shots, asked. "I like winning, there. Are you happy? Are you?"

That's it from here, the Soviets have another week off until there next game, but then it's the home stretch. The question is, was tonight a fluke? Or was tonight a sign of what's to come, and perhaps that number one seed is possible?

I'm not the only one thinking about it, that's for sure.

THREE STARS:
3: Ben Breiterman
2: Mark Hendricks
1: Andy Schram