The details about last night's game are hazy, and though I could attempt to write an article by piecing the few bits of information I know together, that would require more effort than I currently possess. Also, the ocean is seducing me. What I'll do in this article is make public the text updates I got from my inside sources last night. So without further ado, and courtesy of Verizon Wireless, here is the first (and most likely only) installment of: Texts (about the Red Army) from Last Night.
"Hello creeper how'd you get my number? Yes im here it's 5 to 4. Cryptic is up 8:20 left in the game." 9:49 pm, from Jenny McLaughlin.
"It's 5-5." 9:52 pm, from Jenny Mclaughlin.
Editors note: At this point, Neal, Brian, and Mark Hendricks were all seated at the end of a table at a buffet anxiously waiting the results, and this text caused a plethora of high fives, hoots, hollers, and strange looks from southerners who undoubtedly don't understand what hockey, let alone roller hockey, is. It also piqued the interest of Peter Sr.
"Hahaha... tied 5-5 with 2:58 left." 9:55 pm, from Louis Wesley.
Editor's note: This was in response to a text message Mark Hendricks had sent his coworker a few minutes earlier saying, "How's my team doing? If you ever want more of my hours you are going to make sure the Red Army advances. You're not going to call that trip!?! Come on Lou!"
"Still tied at 5. It's gonna be gay if you all play hogstachio though." 9:58 pm, from Jenny McLaughlin.
Editor's Note: Playoff Sausage Fest!
"Yeah im sure u dont care lol. Yes, overtime." 10:00 pm, from Jenny McLaughlin.
Editor's Note: Tony can never know what she was referencing in that first segment of the text.
"I better get a write up on the digest for being your commentator, and the winner is...." 10:05 pm, from Jenny Mclaughlin.
"6-5 red army in OT." 10:06 pm from Louis Wesley.
"The red army." 10:08 pm from Jenny Mclaughlin.
Editor's Note: Now outside of the restaurant, Neal, Brian, and Mark began hugging and jumping around before Beege stopped and said, "I'm going running tomorrow now, got to get into playoff shape."
"Ot..." 10:09 pm, from Pat King
"Ot" 10:09 pm, from Scott Hoefer
"Ot" 10:10 pm, from Andy Schram
Editor's Note: The plot thickens. At this juncture, Mark sent a text to a few of the players saying congratulations and that he had heard that they had won.
"Who said we won? Hogstache won..." 10: 12 pm, from Scott Hoefer
Editor's Note: Mark sent another text asking who got the OT winner in the Red Army game.
"Tarn got it." 10:12 pm, from Scott Hoefer
Editor's Note: After Mark admitted to Scott that had had been getting updates from Louis and Jenny during the game, Scott, and other players, began their post game analysis.
"Handy jacked the winner." 10:15 pm, from Scott Hoefer
"2 on 1 with Brad, deflection shot top cheese left shoulder. I pulled an Ovie with the huge yell and double arm pump." 10:23 pm, from Steve Hand
"All goals by Ben, last one by Steve." 10:29 pm, from Scott Hoefer
"Ben had four, pat had one." 10:31 pm, from Steve Hand
"We weren't too sharp IMO, they outshot us. Solid defensively though for most of it, I'm excited for Hogstachio, start your stretches now." 11:28 pm, from Andy Schram
"I had 4.5, pat had 1. Steve got the OT winner." 11:51 pm, from Ben Breiterman
"Pat claims he tipped my slapshot on the PP. Erroneous!" 12:27 am, from Ben Breiterman.
Editor's Note: Sounds like Pat.
So there is the game as I saw it. If anyone has any other important information, write it in the comment section or text me, and I will add it in. Other than that, I guess it's important to note that there are now only four teams remaining. Three more wins until three in a row. Rest up comrades, there's a lot of hockey to be played yet.
6 comments:
I guess bringing people in who aren't really on the team proved to be a good idea. Hope you guys feel good about that win.
Well, considering the fact that we were missing 5 players, and we asked for 3 to help out (all of whom had previous experience on the Red Army), I feel no remorse. Now, the binge of hooker killing I did last night, well that's a different story, but similar in the no remorse department.
buffet huh.... real classy
I heard the goalie got a haircut beforehand and looked amazing, per usual
Red army goalie is my hero. I dont know if the casual reader knows this but he had an assist in the soviet tuxedo rivalry game. It's up for an ESPY
As host of the 23rd annual Espy awards, I must say that I am honored to be even included in the same breath as Andy Schram. Though my tenure at Saturday Night Live was marred by accusations of substance abuse and affairs with several actresses from Mad TV, I hope to make amends when handing the Soviet goaltender that... whatever trophy an Espy is.
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