Cigar Continues to Elude Mother Russia

The Red Army played a hard fought game tonight versus Stuffed Chrus. For long spouts of the game, the Comrades dictated the play and controlled the puck. At other times, the Comrades made ill advised plays and committed large gaffs. The end result? Another one goal loss in a game that should have been a win.

But let's not get down on them. We do that enough, and from the interviews gathered in the locker room this evening, they do that to each other enough. I don't want this to be a fluffy post filled with rainbows, but I would be remiss not to give credit where credit is due, identify some improvements, and tastefully point out things that need to change. In my past life, I was a teacher, and I understand while drilling someone about their shortcomings may have its short term benefits, in the long run it only breeds contempt. So this post will address each players performance tonight and point out three things:

1) Something the player is doing well
2) Something the player is improving at
3) Something the player needs to improve at

Think of it as good cop, good cop, bad cop...which is at least two times better than bad cop by my count.

First, the defense, in alphabetical order:

Breiterman, Ben
1) Ben is consistently a threat to score. It seems each game he is on the score sheet (he netted two goals tonight and a handful of assists) and his game in the defensive zone is equally impressive. He is as much shut down as he is top shelf.

2) Ben is becoming better at joining the rush, which he seems to be doing a lot more this season. In fact, a few times he has been spotted grinding the puck out behind the net in the offensive zone. His offensive game is creating a lot of three on two rushes.

3) But... stemming from #2, Ben's penchant for joining the rush is also leading to several two on one rushes the other way. A lot of this has to do with the offensemen reading the play and staying back, but most of it falls on Ben because as one of the more talented players on the rink, he needs to be one of the more vocal players to organize things.

Hoefer, Scott
1) Scott has continued to be the backbone of the defense. He seldom gets beat, he is vocal on the rink and on the bench, and he allows any other player paired with him to take chances. He is reliable.

2) Scott is also improving his offense while not letting it be a detriment to his defense. His release is becoming quicker and his shot harder. Him and Mark have executed a few give and go's the past few games and Scott is quickly becoming more confident in the offensive zone.

3) For as good as his defense is, it can be better. He plays well against north to south players, but when a player comes towards him and can toe drag, Hoefer can often be beat. He spoke to reporters about it tonight and thinks he can improve. The State of the Union may depend on how quick that learning curve is.

Kelley, Drew
1) Speed. Drew is the fastest player on the team, and in a division that just got injected with speed, Drew's role come playoff time is going to be increased. He can stay on guys that other Comrades just cannot.

2) Drew's defensive game used to consist of skating hard at someone and hoping to poke check. Now he can gauge a rushing offender, guide them towards the boards, and win the battle. His defensive game has grown by leaps and bounds.

3) Drew's offensive game however, seems, well, to be the Jekyll and Hyde of the Red Army. Last season, he was trigger happy when passes were available. Then he became a monster in the playoffs setting up Mark several times and chipping in with a few goals of his own. This season he seemed to regress back to his original habits of shooting when he should pass and passing when he should shoot. We know it's in him, we just want to see it.

Odell, Ryan
1) You know what you're going to get from Ryan: shots on net, a body to the front, and a physical presence. He is the meat and potatoes of the defensive corps and a proven winner; the kind of guy you want on your team in a season like this.

2) Though he still occasionally commits the dreaded "last man back who thinks he can dangle the world" faux pas, he has for the most part eliminated that from his game and become a breakout machine. Also, him and Mark have developed some chemistry this season that have resulted in a few highlight reel goals.

3) As I alluded to earlier, Ryan is a proven winner. When things are not going well though, like say... this season, Ryan can be tough on his teammates. He is a vocal leader, but when it comes to getting a message across, yelling is not always the best option.

The Offense:

Collis, Pete
1) Pete is probably the most underrated forward in the entire division. His speed, stick skills, and shot all catch teams off-guard. He was the biggest off season acquisition for the Red Army, and until tonight, he was also the good luck charm.

2) Pete is improving his offensive game by being more quick to pull the trigger. In past seasons, you couldn't pay him enough to shoot. This season, though he hasn't quite adopted the "shoot first, ask questions later" mentality, he certainly has ditched the "pass first, then second, third, fourth, and fifth".

3) For all of Pete's offensive upside, he still seems to get snake bitten at the worst times. It's no secret that him and Mark will be providing most of the offense this season, and the way things are going, the anti-venom better arrive quickly.

Hand, Steve
1) The Captain has continued his solid play in the corners. His big body and deceptively good hands allow him to finagle loose pucks away from opposing players. If his vision improves a bit he could rack up some serious assists.

2) With his vision, it is progressing slowly, but progressing nonetheless. He is beginning to make passes through seams that he couldn't before. He still needs to show patience at times and more urgency at others, but that comes with experience.

3) The thing Steve will always be judged on (unfairly because he is bigger than most of the other offensive players) is his performance in front of the net. He still drags his feet, errr, skates, to go to the absolute front of the net, but when he does, results are immediate. He also needs to find a way to get that slap shot off without a tee, a caddy, and an afternoon off.

Hendricks, Mark
1) He is back to his old scoring ways, netting hat tricks in three consecutive games (13 goals) and is not shying away from the front of the net.

2) Mark is also improving his defensive game and showing more of a commitment to being back, though as evidenced tonight, he still has much room to improve.

3) If Mark is going to improve somewhere besides defense, it is going to be offense, and by that I mean burying more of his scoring chances. Yes, a four goal performance like tonight was nice, but as the headline indicates, it was not good enough. Three times Mark had golden opportunities to give the Comrades a two goal lead late in the third, and all three times, he missed. The result? A six point night in the stat sheet and a 0 point night in the standings.

Horton, Tony
1) Like Drew, Tony has speed. When you combine his size with his speed, he can be a handful for defenders. Tony has shown an ability to drive the net and when he does that, he creates opportunities for himself and everyone around him.

2) Tony's hands are also improving. He has shown an ability to stick handle through defenders and create chances on his own. His finishing touch is still a bit behind, but you figure if he keeps getting shots, the goals will start coming.

3) Like Ben, Tony needs to be more selective when choosing to exercise his newest found hobby. Trying to beat a defender one on one is a dangerous game. If you fail, you've taken yourself out of the play and the puck is going the other way. Often times if a pass is open, the pass should be made.


So there is the breakdown. Tomorrow, there will be a game recap to cover tonight's game more in depth, but tonight, sensing the locker room's general mood, I think this was higher on the priority list.

Keep your heads up Comrades. As the wise Bruce Boudreau once said, "The difference between a rut and a winning streak is only a couple of bounces."

Back to Business

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

What is that for you ask? That elongated ah, what does it mean? Damnit Barry, you've been away for so long that we don't even understand your sounds anymore! Well calm down Comrades, that right there is the sound of yours truly waking up after too long of a hiatus from the blogosphere. Yes, I'm back. Not because the Red Army is on a win streak (I refuse to accept the label that I am a fair weather blogger), no, it is because there is competition that transcends stick and puck these days. I am talking about the war of words between Prestige Worldwide Hockey and the Red Army Digest (though you may know the online rivalry by the nicknames it is even less known as, like "The Fight of the Font", "The Bout of Blogging", and "Tuxedos are for Gays".)

Psssssch....

What's the sound? Well that's the sound of me cracking open a frosty brew, leaning back in my chair made entirely out of albino Siberian tiger skin, and laughing at the notion that another blog is even worthy of smelling the excrement that this blog produces (though comparing the content that this blog produces to excrement immediately discredits the analogy). I just hope the point, like the smell in this fictitious scenario, lingers.

But Barry, they have merchandise. They have more writers. They have been generating articles and linking them to their Facebook pages for weeks and you've stood by and done nothing!

First off, I haven't been doing nothing. Last week I completed the Washington Post's Wednesday crossword and sudoku puzzles before lunch. Now yes, I did eat lunch at around 4:15 pm that day, but who are you to tell me what time lunch is? If I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 4:15 pm I'm going to eat it then, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Go ahead and try, if you do you'll be considered a racist. Why? Because George Washington Carver was black.

Check... and mate.

Now the point of this post was not to throw PW's blog under the bus. I respect what they do over there (though the Catholic Church condemns it) and I think it's great that they finally have a winning team to cover, heaven knows they bought deserve it. The point of this post was to let people know that the lion never left the jungle. The thrown was never vacated. I'm still here, and I'm still going to assert my dominance with every single compound/complex sentence. Win or lose, I will write recaps. I will do game day precaps. I will do human interest pieces on players. I will cover the All Star game. I will cover the Olympics. I will even cover late night episodes at Beer Gardens. I am here with you, through amazing deflections and rogue banana peels.

And to all the doubters at the PW headquarters: I'd get as many articles published before September 9, 2010, because that's when your winning streak ends.

Relax

Well, it appears this season has gotten off to a bit of a rough start. At 0-3-1, the Red Army is one of two teams in the division that is win-less and the first, and so far only, team to reach the four loss mark (three in regulation, one in overtime). After being blown out the season opener, the Soviets have lost back to back to back close games. They are getting better, yes, but they still have yet to finish a game with their score greater than that of their opponents, which, as anyone will tell you, is important in the winning process.

So, as the wise Mike Lafontaine said, "Hey, what happened?"

Well, not much. The team is still the same team that won back to back to back championships. Any fan going around hitting the panic button is doing so prematurely and much to the dismay of surrounding females. The season is four games old. There is plenty of time to right the wrongs, plenty of time to develop good habits, and plenty of games to rack up points and climb the standings.

Stuffed Chrus, Prestige Worldwide, the Puck Ewes, and the Black Presidents are probably the best four teams in the division. All four of those teams played, and defeated, Mother Russia this season. But, there will be rematches. The Red Army will get another crack at them, all of them, and they will win against all of them.

So, as your faithful blogging news source I say to you fans of the Motherland: fear not, and enjoy playing the role of the underdog for a few games.

Pretty soon the league will realize there's a monster in the basement.

False Alarm: Mark Hendricks Still a Comrade

Move over Brett Favre, you've got competition in the "is he staying or is he going" game. A few hours after writing a heartfelt open letter to his fellow Comrades about his abrupt departure, Mark Hendricks has apparently added a post postscript of "JK". The winger will be back in the lineup on Sunday night.

The details on how the winger was lured back are unknown, and in keeping with team policy, the terms and conditions were not released. What we do know is that Hendricks has narrowly beaten Ben Breiterman in yet another Red Army record: shortest interval between leaving the team and coming back.

-AP

An Open Letter from Mark Hendricks

Dearest Comrades,

As many of you are aware of by now, I will not be able to play for the Red Army this season. That is not to say I'll be wearing the jersey of another team (I would never ever dare toy with that idea). The truth of the matter is this: a lack of funds, a debt to pay, and a shallow job pool have created a perfect storm, if you will, and its wrath erased "Roller Hockey" from the list of things I can afford.

The timing of this? Terrible, I know. We (I will continue to use this pronoun when referring to the team) have just limped off to a 0-2 start in a division that features more talent than any in the previous seasons. While I was looking forward to the challenge of the next three months with salivating lips, it appears the taste will elude me. This team, and perhaps I say this every season, is loaded with talent. The additions of Tony Horton, Ryan Odell, and Pete Collis add grit, stingy defense, leadership, speed, and offensive potency to a team that already oozes with these things. I trust that even without my goal scoring prowess, the offense will still pack a very hard punch. The defense... well, I had nothing to do with them.

Wishful thinking dictates that before too long I'll be employed, and I could hop on mid-season. Yes, it's possible. I start my job as fashion connoisseur sales associate in the men's department at Kohl's on Tuesday. Also, early indications of the hockey schedule make it appear that I will have a heavy load of reffing work, which is good. On top of those things, a government job may only be a few weeks off, which would equate to the sound of a cash register opening. But, of course, this is all conjecture, and most likely a few months will pass while I work odd jobs and only frequent the rink while attired in stripes. Pessimistic? Maybe a tad, but at least I'll get a discount on V-neck sweaters.

For now, the pregame mass text responsibilities go to Steve Hand, the blogging responsibilities will go to Ryan Odell (should he chose to accept them), and the excessive celebration responsibilities go to Ben Breiterman. Text, blog, and fist pump well, gentlemen.

So long my Comrades. While I hope this farewell to arms is a brief one, I will still miss you. Now, as I go and search for work, I hope, and expect, that you all will continue to do work.

Mark Hendricks

PS: Team party sometime soon? Just saying.