Despite Depleted Lineup, Soviets Beat Stench; Improve to 2-0

For the second time in as many games, the Red Army was forced to put together a lineup that consisted of several non-Soviet players, and, for the second time in as many games, the Red Army was victorious. Mark Jacyna, Kevin Ahearn, and Josh Kelly of the DSPIHBL's Cosby Sweaters laced up the skates for Mother Russia and helped the team improve its record to 2-0 to take an early lead atop the division standings.

"I got a message from [Tony Horton] saying that the Red Army needed players again, so I volunteered my services," Ahearn said. "It's fun playing with these guys. They're good skaters and good passers, so there is a lot of chemistry."

Added Jacyna, "Sexual chemistry as well."

The scoring was started early in the first period when Ryan Odell, playing his first game of the season, fired a hard wrist shot top shelf where Ron Jeremy keeps the flavored lube.

"I had talked with [Mark Hendricks] earlier in the day about my shot and my struggles lately," Odell said. "He had told me I was too slap happy and needed to utilize my wrist and snap shots more. At first I disagreed, mostly because he used the term 'slap happy', but then I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was too slap happy. It's true what they say, the first step is acceptance."

The lead was relinquished later in the frame when a Cryptic Stench shot found its way through a mass of bodies in front. For Sean Hanley and the team, it was the first goal given up on the season.

"We knew we weren't going to get a shutout every game," Hanley said. "Or at least I knew. I'm not sure they knew, because they looked very angry at me from the bench, and I'm pretty sure somebody drank all of my water. Just because I got a shutout the first game doesn't mean it's going to happen every game!"

Hendricks gave the Comrades the lead back in the dying minutes of the first period when he one timed a shot that handcuffed the goalie. The play was set up by Ahearn, who circled around the net and found Hendricks cutting in down toward the face off circle to the right of the goal.

"It was a great pass," Hendricks said. "It was in real tight quarters, and I didn't know if I was even going to be able to get it off, and I think that's what gave the goalie problems in stopping it. For the record, someone must tell Pat King that I already have one one-timer goal this season."

The Stench would rally again though, and tie the game in the middle stanza on a counter attack that caught many Soviets pinching.

"They caught us on a failed rush attempt and made us pay," said Drew Kelly, who was also playing his first game of the season. "If we can eliminate those then we'll be good, and I think we eliminated them as the game went on."

Added fellow defender Kelly, Josh, "Sure, sometimes we're going to get beat, but the truth of the matter is that when you have two guys with the last name Kelly on a team and they both play defense, well, you're going to win a lot of games."

Moments after giving up a goal on the rush, the Soviets cashed in on a rush of their own. Steve Hand won a faceoff in the defensive zone and the puck was thrown around the boards to Ahearn. Ahearn caught the puck and raced down the wing past the last defender and in on a partial breakaway where he was able to fire a shot top right in the corner typically reserved for postage stamps.

"A won faceoff, a secondary assist, and a plus minus rating of plus one all on a shift that started in the defensive zone," Hand said. "That's why I wear the 'C'".

Hendricks would push the lead to two goals a few minutes later when he intercepted an attempted outlet pass and potted his second of the game five-hole on a breakaway. After that, the Soviets buckled down again and made the Stench work hard for their chances.

"We really played sound defensively tonight," Odell, who finished with a team high 11 shot blocks, said. "It's something we've got to establish early, and even though it's just one game, it's very encouraging that it's occurring early in the season."

The Stench would close the gap to one late in the third, but that would be as close as they would get. The Soviets killed off the final few minutes and Hanley steered away the final few shots and in the blink of an eye, the Red Army was off to a 2-0 start.

"Still plenty of hockey left to be played and plenty of guys that need to get back into the grind of things, but I'm very happy with the team's efforts so far," Hendricks said. "Sunday should be a real test for us, and I'm looking forward to it."

THREE STARS:
#3: Kevin Ahearn (1 goal, 1 assist)
#2: Mark Hendricks (2 goals)
#1: Ryan Odell (1 goal, 11 blocked shots)

Hanley Shines in Soviet Debut; Shuts Out Daggermouth 2.0

The biggest talk surrounding the Red Army this offseason was their acquisition of once-rival goaltender Sean Hanley. The Soviets, having moved Jamie Simek back to defense to make up for the losses of Ben Breiterman and Scott Hoefer, were left with a question mark in net. If Sunday's season opener was any indication, Hanley may very well be the answer. Backed by a stellar performance in net, the Red Army skated to a 3-0 victory over Daggermouth 2.0.

"Not sure what you can say about having a guy like Sean back there," Mark Hendricks said. "He gives the guys confidence. He was making saves that I just couldn't believe. I got the feeling early in the third period when they hit the crossbar that it was just his day. They could have taken 100 shots, I don't think one would have gone in."

Hendricks opened the scoring around the midway mark of the first when he intercepted a pass in the Daggermouth zone and skated in alone on Chris Celenski. The forward faked to the forehand and then tucked home a nifty backhander that beat Celenski five-hole. The score would remain that way for the end of the period, thanks mostly in part to both teams focusing on defense.

"We didn't have a lot of guys," Tony Horton said, alluding to the six skaters that laced them up for Mother Russia. "Only three of our skaters were actual Red Army roster players, two others were guys from my team (the Cosby Sweaters of DSPBL), and we called up Will Sutherland from the Trailside Tigers to give us three offense and three defense. It worked out well, and I think the other three guys really helped us out."

The Red Army was able to take a 2-0 lead early in the second period when Hendricks and Pat King connected on an early goal-of-the-year candidate. Hendricks, skating into the corner to retrieve a puck in the offensive zone, fashioned a quick turnaround slap pass between two defenders and onto the tape of King's stick. King caught the pass and snapped home a high shot top shelf where the entire cast of "Little People, Big World" cannot reach.

"We had practiced that play a lot in recent weeks," King said of his goal. "I wasn't sure if [Hendricks] saw me, but I was calling for it. He just spun and threw it towards me and it was a perfect pass. I don't think Celenski expected it because by the time I got my shot off there was no chance for him."

With a two goal lead, the Red Army buckled down defensively and kept the majority of their opponent's shots to the perimeter. When shots came from in tight or on odd man rushes, Hanley was there.

"It was my first game with a new team, so I wanted to make an impression," Hanley said. "Obviously it's going to be a tough season playing for two teams, but on the bright side, I will always be in possession of the Soviet Tuxedo."

The Soviets tacked on the final nail in the coffin late in the third period when a King centering pass deflected off a Daggermouth defender and into the net. Hanley would steer away the final few shots that were directed his way and the Red Army kicked off the new season in winning style.

"It's just one game, but it was important," Sutherland said. "Wait, do I really get an interview? Are you going to print that?"

THREE STARS:
#3: Mark Hendricks (1 goal, 1 assist, 1 blocked shot)
#2: Pat King (2 goals)
#1: Sean Hanley (27 saves)