Despite Depleted Lineup, Soviets Beat Stench; Improve to 2-0

For the second time in as many games, the Red Army was forced to put together a lineup that consisted of several non-Soviet players, and, for the second time in as many games, the Red Army was victorious. Mark Jacyna, Kevin Ahearn, and Josh Kelly of the DSPIHBL's Cosby Sweaters laced up the skates for Mother Russia and helped the team improve its record to 2-0 to take an early lead atop the division standings.

"I got a message from [Tony Horton] saying that the Red Army needed players again, so I volunteered my services," Ahearn said. "It's fun playing with these guys. They're good skaters and good passers, so there is a lot of chemistry."

Added Jacyna, "Sexual chemistry as well."

The scoring was started early in the first period when Ryan Odell, playing his first game of the season, fired a hard wrist shot top shelf where Ron Jeremy keeps the flavored lube.

"I had talked with [Mark Hendricks] earlier in the day about my shot and my struggles lately," Odell said. "He had told me I was too slap happy and needed to utilize my wrist and snap shots more. At first I disagreed, mostly because he used the term 'slap happy', but then I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was too slap happy. It's true what they say, the first step is acceptance."

The lead was relinquished later in the frame when a Cryptic Stench shot found its way through a mass of bodies in front. For Sean Hanley and the team, it was the first goal given up on the season.

"We knew we weren't going to get a shutout every game," Hanley said. "Or at least I knew. I'm not sure they knew, because they looked very angry at me from the bench, and I'm pretty sure somebody drank all of my water. Just because I got a shutout the first game doesn't mean it's going to happen every game!"

Hendricks gave the Comrades the lead back in the dying minutes of the first period when he one timed a shot that handcuffed the goalie. The play was set up by Ahearn, who circled around the net and found Hendricks cutting in down toward the face off circle to the right of the goal.

"It was a great pass," Hendricks said. "It was in real tight quarters, and I didn't know if I was even going to be able to get it off, and I think that's what gave the goalie problems in stopping it. For the record, someone must tell Pat King that I already have one one-timer goal this season."

The Stench would rally again though, and tie the game in the middle stanza on a counter attack that caught many Soviets pinching.

"They caught us on a failed rush attempt and made us pay," said Drew Kelly, who was also playing his first game of the season. "If we can eliminate those then we'll be good, and I think we eliminated them as the game went on."

Added fellow defender Kelly, Josh, "Sure, sometimes we're going to get beat, but the truth of the matter is that when you have two guys with the last name Kelly on a team and they both play defense, well, you're going to win a lot of games."

Moments after giving up a goal on the rush, the Soviets cashed in on a rush of their own. Steve Hand won a faceoff in the defensive zone and the puck was thrown around the boards to Ahearn. Ahearn caught the puck and raced down the wing past the last defender and in on a partial breakaway where he was able to fire a shot top right in the corner typically reserved for postage stamps.

"A won faceoff, a secondary assist, and a plus minus rating of plus one all on a shift that started in the defensive zone," Hand said. "That's why I wear the 'C'".

Hendricks would push the lead to two goals a few minutes later when he intercepted an attempted outlet pass and potted his second of the game five-hole on a breakaway. After that, the Soviets buckled down again and made the Stench work hard for their chances.

"We really played sound defensively tonight," Odell, who finished with a team high 11 shot blocks, said. "It's something we've got to establish early, and even though it's just one game, it's very encouraging that it's occurring early in the season."

The Stench would close the gap to one late in the third, but that would be as close as they would get. The Soviets killed off the final few minutes and Hanley steered away the final few shots and in the blink of an eye, the Red Army was off to a 2-0 start.

"Still plenty of hockey left to be played and plenty of guys that need to get back into the grind of things, but I'm very happy with the team's efforts so far," Hendricks said. "Sunday should be a real test for us, and I'm looking forward to it."

THREE STARS:
#3: Kevin Ahearn (1 goal, 1 assist)
#2: Mark Hendricks (2 goals)
#1: Ryan Odell (1 goal, 11 blocked shots)