Game 2 Postponed Due to High Levels of Carbon Monoxide, Bad Decisions UPDATED

Thursday night's highly anticipated match up between the Red Army and Cryptic Stench will have to remain highly anticipated for a few days more. Last night, during the renovation of a soccer field, carbon monoxide levels reached unsafe levels inside of the facility. The gas fumes, along with the amount of misguided judgment calls made by the management staff, merged to create a situation so dangerous that the Fire Marshall declared it, "a war zone".

"I'm no rocket scientist, but I wouldn't have been using those generators indoors," Captain Steve Hand said. "You could smell it when you walked into the building. If you can smell something other than hockey gear, you know something is wrong."

A nearby rocket scientist agreed.

"As a rocket scientist, I took no classes during my studies that educated me on how to avoid a situation like this. I would like to think this is common sense."

It is unclear at this time what prompted the timing for the field renovation, but people are more than questioning management's decision for their scheduling.

"I can think of so many different times during the week that would have been better suited for doing construction like this," forward and construction planning enthusiast Mike D'Ignazio said. "Early Tuesday morning would have worked. Thursday mid afternoon also would have worked. Hmm, Monday morning, also acceptable."

Added D'Ignazio, "Wednesday morning."

There is certainly a lot of blame to go around, but as of now, no one is owning up to it.

"I just work here," one manager told reporters as he and his team of body guards pushed through the throng of hockey players situation outside the facility. "Somebody get these filthy animals away from me! I don't even want to see them in my peripherals!"

Sources close to the situation are expecting a news release from Dulles Sportsplex sometime today, and it is being reported that the facility will appease both teams and not count the game as a forfeit.

"After careful consideration, we decided not to count the game as a forfeit for both teams," league commissioner Andrew Jenkins said. "Many voted in favor of counting the game as a double loss, and crowning the Cryptic Stench as champions with a 2-1 series win. But, we decided we would reschedule despite the fact that nearly three minutes of warm ups had been taken and technically the game was official."

As of 12:00 pm today, the facility was still closed as firefighters and rescue workers were still examining the building.

"Our latest reading of the Carbon Monoxide levels were still pretty high," Firefighter Jeff Higgins said. "I think we need bigger fans."



We'll update any breaking news here on the R.A.D.

UPDATE: Firefighters just pulled Chris Celenski out of the building. The goalie was sleeping in his bed beneath the rink and had not heard the alarms go off. He is in stable condition and is expected to make an awkward recovery.