As Promised...More

There are 16 different companies vying for the rights to sponsor the Red Army this summer season. Though the club has not revealed any of the 16, sources close to the R.A.D. have confirmed a few of the rumored names. Among them, "Yoo-Hoo", "Microsoft", and "Natural Light".

"As owner of the organization, I am legally and contractually obligated not to speak of any potential sponsorships," Red Army Chairman and Majority Owner Don Cheadle said. "I will say though, that my Oscar-nominated performance in Hotel Rwanda was pitch perfect. And Father's Day is just around the corner, the Ocean's 11 trilogy makes a great present."

How do the players feel about being sponsored? It varies.

"It depends who," Captain Steve Hand said. "I wouldn't want a big logo of 'Depends' on my jersey, but I think if we were sponsored by Fruity Pebbles or the Navy SEALs, that would be cool."

"I don't want to be sponsored, I think it's stupid," Mike D'Ignazio said. "Anyone who wants sponsors is an idiot. What are we, from Europe? Are we NASCAR?"

"The more sponsors the better," Mark Hendricks said. "I want that cool European look where your jersey looks like a NASCAR car."

"I'll only be sponsored by one company," Ryan Odell said. "Jack Link's."

"I think we should be sponsored by the Sterling Fire Department, since ya know... they saved our lives," Jason White said.

"Volkswagen is a good company," Tony Horton said. "Or Hofbrauhaus."

"If we're sponsored by anything from Germany, I'll quit," Andy Schram said.

With the season only four days away, most players are just hoping the name doesn't change.

"As long as we're still the Red Army, I'm happy," Pat King says. "But if we're 'Tyler Perry Presents: The Red Army', well then, there might be a problem."