Red Army Looks to Extend Winning Streak Against Cosby Sweaters

There are games on the schedule that players circle on their calendar-- games that provide an extra level of intensity; an extra level of effort. Tonight is such a game. The Red Army, the once powerful dynamo that stringed three championship seasons together is looking to reclaim their spot in the upper echelon of the division, while the Cosby Sweaters, a team still seeking its silver-south identity, is looking to add another statement victory to its budding resume. That, coupled with the fact that these two teams share a player, at one point shared a goalie, and at several points have shared pitchers of beer, well, leave many wondering if the familiarity will breed contempt.

"It's a big game," Captain Steve Hand said. "We're friends with a lot of the guys on the other team, we've known them for a while. But, what it comes down to is that there are two points on the line, and both teams want them. It's getting late in the season now where everyone needs points and is jockeying for position in the standings."

Continued Hand. "And I'm going to jockey some bitches."

The Soviet Captain's sentiments appear to be shared by Cosby Sweaters Captain Tony Horton, who also spoke to reporters about there being no love-loss between clubs.

"I really want to win this game, this one is personal," Horton said. "I've played with [the Red Army] for a few years now, but to beat them again and sweep the season series, well, I can't help but get my lederhosen in a bunch thinking about it."

Horton then went on to explain his workout regimen this past week in preparing for tonight's tilt.

"Monday I did the McDonald's mile, where you eat three big macs, run a mile, and chug a gallon of Red Bull, it really works your core. Tuesday I did legs, so KFC, and last night I drank my body weight in soy milk."

Perhaps no player wants to win tonight more than Mark Hendricks, who has failed twice in his two cracks against the Cosby Sweaters.

"Third time is the charm," Hendricks joked to reporters after this morning's practice. "In my defense, the 10-0 blowout they beat me in last year, I was not really trying. I mean, that was a bronze game, so it would have been unethical for me to exert myself, as I am not a bronze player. What I did, losing by 10, was nothing short of admirable. Commend me."

Hendricks continued. "But tonight will be different. I think our team is playing a more well-rounded style of hockey right now, and even though they do have some good defenders, I think our attack will be too much for them to withstand. I'm not saying I'm going to dominate, but I think I will be the best player on the rink and several women will throw themselves at me afterward."

Regardless of Hendricks' vintage swagger, this game may not be the run and gun style that several predict. The Soviets have allowed the second fewest goals this season, and the Sweaters have only allowed four goals in the previous two games.

"I'm looking forward to the challenge," Ryan Odell said. "They've got a fast team, so matching speeds and gap control will be important. We've been pretty stout defensively lately, I'd like to be... stouter."

Jamie Simek, who will likely be paired with Odell, agreed.

"Ohhhh sure," Simek said, before head butting a stranger.

The Cosby defense is led by Joe Welsh, who over his illustrious career has averaged 1.1 goals, 1.6 assists, and 2.4 PIMS a game.

"I look forward to crushing these Communists," Welsh said. "I also plan on raising my career average of PIMS per game to 2.7." To do so, Welsh would need 74 penalty minutes tonight, which as he has proven time and time again, is not out of the realm of possibility.

"It's all about the game misconducts," Welsh added.

Joining Welsh on the CS blue line are half of the brothers Jacyna, Kevin Ahearn, and Horton.

"We're a pretty active defense group," Ahearn said. "We go biking every weekend."

"And tomorrow we're doing the Krispy Kreme Kilometer," Horton added.

When asked to elaborate, Horton declined, saying, "There just aren't enough words to describe the glaze."

With so many factors at play tonight, the game should provide excellent drama as well as a measuring stick for where the two teams line up as they near postseason play.

"If we win, we're right back in the thick of things," Mike D'Ignazio said. "And the thicker things get, the... ya know what, just... just imagine what I said and it will be better."

BLOG PREDICTION: Red Army 6, Cosby Sweaters 3