"Another solid win," Captain Steve Hand said. "We made smart plays, getting the puck deep and making smart changes. We're starting to look more and more poised as the playoffs approached."
Mike D'Ignazio, who seldom says anything positive regarding anything, somewhat agreed with the captain.
"It was a good game, but we still made a few too many mistakes. We stopped playing for a few shifts, and the 3-0 lead became 3-2. I think there are some positives to take away from the effort tonight, but there are also some negatives. Let's not get overly-excited people. I'm a leveler, that's what I do. If you're happy, I'll bring you down a few notches. But, if you're sad, I'll also bring you down a few notches as well. Leveler, I am."
D'Ignazio started the scoring early in the game when he took a Hand pass (legal, because "Hand" was capitalized) and fired a wrist shot just above Hanley's glove. Moments later, D'Ignazio sprung Odell for a breakaway and the defender converted.
"That was my annual breakaway," Odell said. "It marks the official start of winter."
With the score 2-0, the slumping first line extended the lead to three by netting their first goal since Nam October. Pat King won a faceoff to Mark Hendricks in the offensive zone. Hendricks made a drop pass to King, who then fired the puck on net. The puck snuck between Hanley's pads and out into the crease where Hendricks backhanded the puck into the net.
"That was a big goal for us," Hendricks said. "We needed that in a big way. We had played a real solid period but hadn't scored yet. It was nice to get one, I was really frustrated from not scoring... both in a hockey sense, and in a sexual sense."
Continued Hendricks, "But mostly in a sexual sense."
With the score 3-0 after the first, the mantra on the bench was to keep it up.
"Oh hey best period of hockey we've played this season, heyyyy," Jamie Simek said. Simek then farted and aggressively asked everyone around him to smell it.
The Pretentious Global Affair tallied two early goals in the middle stanza to make it a game. The first came on a rush up the rink when a defender activated, and the second came when Odell misplayed the puck directly into his own net.
"It's going to be a long winter," Odell said.
The Comardes fought back though, cycling the puck and enjoying extended periods of pressure in the Prestigious zone. Their best chance came when Hendricks rang iron on a one timer from the left face-off circle. Moments later, Pete Collis would thread a pass to Hendricks for another one timer, and this time the sniper officially busted the slump, ripping a high slap shot past Hanley.
"I saw [Hendricks] last second," Collis said "I mean, I honestly could have skated in another ten, fifteen feet, but I fired a pass down low. Clearly, with that pass I demonstrated that I am more fit to play offense than defense, and that the coach will definitely-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Hendricks interrupted. "I didn't know we had a coach."
The Soviets cashed in one more time in the frame to increase the lead to 5-2, when King fired home a centering feed from Hendricks. Though the puck went seven-hole, and was not King's vintage top shelf shot, the forward was still pleased with the goal.
"That was my second goal on the campaign," King said. "Obviously well below my average. But we're heating up now, so if we can generate some offense and get hot as we enter the playoffs... well baby, we'll have a stew going."
"I'm stewing right now," Simek chimed in, before sharting.
The Soviets flirted with disaster several times in the third, allowing PW to close the gap to two goals, but never any closer.
Tony Horton scored the eventual game winner while shorthanded. He fired the puck 150 feet from the goal, but after the puck ricocheted off a Prestigious defenseman, Hanley did not have time to react. It was the second strangest play of the game for Horton, who late in the game yelled something loud and probably German.
"It was a war cry," Horton explained. "No, I actually was yelling for us to clear the zone, but I sneezed during it, so what came out sounded like the mating call of a male walrus."
"It sounded like what I'd imagine a T-Rex would sound like after being kicked in the testicles," Hand said.
"I think it was more primal," Odell said. "Like when a mother Grizzly bear sees her two month old cub being attacked by a pack of wolves."
"I heard city bus," said Hendricks. "One in desperate need of oil."
"I agree with the traffic idea," D'Ignazio said, but less city bus, more Amtrak Train. Acela, actually."
"You're all wrong," King said, "That was the sound of a building being demolished, and thousands of tons of twisted steel grinding against each other."
"False," Pete Collis said. "That was the sound of Godzilla roaring as he is pounded by fighter jets."
"Guys, guys, guys," Simek said. "That's just the sound I make when I can't find a bathroom in time."
D'Ignazio tacked on another late tally on a breakaway to make the score 7-4. The Prestigious would score one late goal, but it was too little too late, as the Comrades controlled the puck the remainder of the game.
"Not bad, not bad," D'Ignazio said, who aspires to one day be an impossible-to-impress father. "My son or daughter will know not to bother me with silly macaroni necklaces or poorly constructed Valentines Day cards."
Continued D'Ignazio, "My child will also be adopted."
THREE STARS:
3: Jamie Simek
2: Pat King
1: Pete Collis
No comments:
Post a Comment